Anyone fancy joining me for a cuppa?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

It's not Friday, but I fancy a drink with old friends!

LOL. Thought you were too posh! Still at least you won't have to remortgage for the wearable advert uniform (or whatever it's called).

Forgot to say earlier.

Ds's finalised assessment report and diagnosis arrived today. Diagnosis of "Autism Spectrum Disorder, more specifically Asperger's Syndrome".

They made all my suggested amendments without a peep - I asked to have ASD included in the diagnosis, as depending who I'm speaking to, I feel ASD sometimes helps open doors that Aspergers does not. A lot of people seem to this Aspergers = not a problem, iykwim.

Have given into temptation - chocolate cake in one hand, keyboard in the other.

Been a while! :)

So,so sorry Star and Triggles. I have been offline for a bit and popped back on to see your posts. It doesn't seem right, does it, that life just carries on when you have got this awful loss. I can't help but I am thinking of you and will carry on doing so after I log off. I hope life treats you gently in other ways while you grieve.

Just polishing off my Chinese takeaway. (Not Indian for a change)

Well done, moose. HF ASD or AS, no real difference except how you are perceived.

DS2 (11) had a bit of a fight with a Y3 boy over something nasty Y3 boy said. First time this has happened where DS has taken offence. Hope it's not a sign of things to come. Not good to suddenly get all sensitive just before secondary school. He won't tell me what was said.

fickle, starlight - thank you

I can't help but feel apprehensive about my mother coming to visit, as she and my dad were very "old school" in the whole "children should be seen and not heard" kind of way and very strict growing up (dad career Navy officer), so I'm worried she will be somewhat less tolerant of DS2's difficulties (ADHD, ASD, etc etc etc) as they do affect his behaviour. He is still required to follow the same house rules, but obviously some things have to be adjusted somewhat. His continual repetition and bouncing all over the place may possibly send her up the wall. Or maybe not... maybe I'm overthinking it.

moosemama - I agree - I think people tend to shrug off Aspergers somewhat as just "eccentric" ... cake sounds good... I think I still have one more doughnut left....(wandering off to check, feeling ever so slightly like Homer Simpson "dooooooooughnut")

Ellen, if its the first time, its more likely that whatever the other boy said was well out of order, especially if he won't tell you what it was.

I really wanted a Chinese takeaway tonight, but we had cheese and potato pie with baked beans, as ds1 won't eat potatoes or baked beans so we never get to have it. Ds2 was in his element, especially with chocolate cake for pud! (Ds1 has a real problem with chocolate, can't stand the smell of it, even from another room, so home baked chocolate cake is very rare around here.)

Triggles, in my experience, the way your parents parented you has little to do with how they treat their grandchildren. My Mum and Stepdad were ridiculously strict with my sisters and I, but spoil my dcs rotten and let them get away with things we would have been in BIG trouble for. Mum reckons its the privilege of being the Grandma rather than the Mum.

I think ds's school thought Aspergers = eccentric - until they met ds1.

Attila, thank you for the CRUSE information. I'd never heard of them but their wesbite is very good.

moosemama - that's true, they aren't quite as strict, but they can be rather critical sometimes. sigh..

LOL at "until they met ds1"

Doughnuts and chocolate cake, mmmm.

Hi Starlight. Have you had any more thoughts on saying something at the funeral? If you want you can write something for the minister or someone else to read out on your behalf.

To be honest, and I don't know if this is appropriate, I wanted to thank my mum on behalf of my dad for her sacrafices for him over the years and for getting through the incredible endurance test over the last few weeks.

I don't want her to ever wonder if she did enough for my Dad then or during his life. I know he loved her deeply, but he spent his life planning for his retirement with her when he died at 64. He kind of kept her on hold, waiting for their good life together that he had planned in detail. She patiently waited.

Of course it's appropriate. Obviously without it sounding like a criticism of your dad. Your mum and the people left behind (that includes you) are the priority now.

i think its appropriate Starlight. Anyone who loses a loved one, harbours - on some level, guilt and worry about whether they did enough, or didn't do something they should have etc. I'm sure your Mum will really appreciate the reassurance that she needn't be feeling that guilt, especially coming from you, as someone who loves him as much as she does.

Oh thank you. I really didn't know if I was allowed to stray off the topic of him and his life, but it is hard to talk about it totally divorced from my mum's life and her supporting role.

Hello, just thought I'd venture in :) I'm sadly cake and donut free, making up for it with G&Ts instead.

G&Ts - yum

My favourite tipple. Makes me giggle every time gifted and talented gets mentioned.

G&Ts has to be junipero though, since dh's birthday party.

We don't keep any alcohol at home - not sure why, just never got into the habit I guess, but I could seriously go for a G&T at the moment. I might even get some sleep tonight if I had a couple.

We don't keep alcohol at home either, for long!

I've had about 8 cups of tea in the last 90 mins!

I hate the going to bed thing right now!

Tea's the last thing you need Starlight - all that caffeine. Could you try a mug of warm milk perhaps?

I think the last 3 were decaf. Dunno. DH made them.

Perhaps I'll try some hot milk though thanks. I think I generally just try to stay up long enough to know that when my head hits the pillow I'll be asleep, rather than lie there for any time.

Might sound daft, but reading something light that you don't need to think about might help as well. I am notoriously bad at falling asleep, but even I find reading something - completely unrelated to whatever I'm dealing with or going through - by a booklight in a dark bedroom helps me to start feeling dozy. I don't take in any of what I read really, but it switches off the constant brain buzz of worries and stresses that tend to keep me awake.

What you really need is some warm milk, which contains the amino acid tryptophan, as well as a good dose of carbohydrate as the combination together will raise your seratonin levels slightly, which in turn will have a calming effect. Milk on its own doesn't work other than as a comforter.

Hope you manage to get some rest. Am off to bed myself now.

Night Starlight.