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SN children

DS being bullied :(

74 replies

mieow · 10/09/2003 16:06

Have just got back from picking up Connor and the taecher grabbed me as I was leaving. Connor was kicked in the eye by a girl in his class. They have never got on and she is a lot bigger than Connor (Connor's the smallest in the class) and she is a little cow. She was kicking the door when I arrived. The head was talking to her mum when the teacher was talking to me, and I nabbed him as I came out the classroom. He knew what I wanted to talk to him about and I was very cross. I told him that I chose his school because it has a very good SN review and the old SENco was great, but I don't expect to come and find that he has been kicked in the eye. He could have lost his sight and I am not impressed. The mother didn't even say sorry.

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sobernow · 10/09/2003 16:11

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lou33 · 10/09/2003 16:20

How dreadful! Have you been told what action will be taken to ensure this never happens again?

I hope you and Connor are feeling better. x

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mieow · 10/09/2003 16:28

Apparently he couldn't disuss what they had decided with other parent with me..... I want her out of Connor's class, or even better out the school. She has always bullied him. In reception she pulled his chair from underneath him (he has a special heathfield chair at school) and she pushes him and trips him up. The reception teacher made sure that they were kept well apart. She is an only child who is a little B*tch (I don't like to judge other peoples kids but.....) She is having special classes with the Head and they have been trying to sort out her behaviour for over a year, and its clearly not working. The mother seems to not care and I can't believe she didn't even aplonize or get her daughter to say sorry

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ThomCat · 10/09/2003 16:46

God - no wonder you're fuming. Demand a meeting with the other mother, the head and the teacher and demand action and demand it soon.
No idea what i'm talking about because my DDis only 19months but bullying sickens me and I since having a child with SN it just really makes me so angry.good luck and pls, pls tell me/us how you get on. I didn't even want to read this thread cos I knew how it would make me feel.

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LIZS · 10/09/2003 16:48

I think you have a right to know how they plan to deal with it in future in relation her behaviour towards your son in the classroom, although perhaps not the entire strategy they are adopting for her, and if this has been going on for over a year then I think I too with think enough is enough. Is she also SEN, sorry if I have missed previous info, but regardless any school should have a policy relating to persistent poor behaviour. Is it a realistic option for her to move class ?

Would you have the opportunity to speak to the class teacher tomorrow when the shock of the situation has subsided. Hope he is ok.

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mieow · 10/09/2003 16:59

I don't believe she has SEN just very bad behaviour, so much so that they have had to remove her from the class for 2 afternoon a week. Connor has no SEN as such, just needs to be watched up stairs and such.... and help with P.E. I am very annoyed with the fact that this has been going on for so long.

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fio2 · 10/09/2003 17:32

poor connorSad I would ring the school tommorrow and try and make an appointment with the headteacher and teacher to discuss what strategies they are going to use to discourage this type of behaviour. My friend had an incident with a boy bullying her dd recently and she also went in to see the teacher. The teacher said the matter was being dealt with but she could not tell her any more information because she was not the bully's parent. The bullying has stopped though. Really though you need to know the problem is being taken seriously, so they do need to explain to you properly watch action is being taken. Feel so sorry for you though, my dd was bitten on the face at school and I was really unhappy about it tooSad

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yoko · 10/09/2003 18:39

really sorry to hear about your little boy,no child should have to be bullied at school,cantbelieve the mother didnt apologise or offer an explanation,however,i m sure this childs behaviour has nothing to do with her being an only child,do you?personally,the children who do the most hitting etc i find usually have older siblings,not that id like to generalise.

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hmb · 10/09/2003 18:52

Poor you and your ds. The school must have a policy to deal with this. You have a right to know what they plan to do to resolve the situation. Regarding the child, she may be listed on the SEN regester as having Emotional Behavioural disorder (EBD). If so then she should have an idividual education plan that outlines what the school should be doing to help her with her behavioural problems.

I hope that things are sorted out soon

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eidsvold · 10/09/2003 20:13

Every school - I am sure should have an anti bullying policy - I would demand to see it and ask what strategies they are employing to ensure your son's safety . Although you spoke to the head I would put your concerns in writing and perhaps cc it to the Board of Governors - if you are still dissatisfied - you can always write to the Local Education Authority expressing your concerns for your son's personal safety. Stress that fact that you chose the school for it's SEN record and how disappointed you are that your son has had to suffer this.

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niki5 · 10/09/2003 22:37

I know how exactly you feel my son is being bullied and I feel that the bully is being protected not my son.There is always an excuse for bad behaviour unless of course your child has a label saying special needs then your on your own my thoughts are with you stand up for your sons rights noone else will!!!!

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Butter · 10/09/2003 22:41

What gets me is that they bend over backwards to help the bully, what happens to the victim,?

I hope they sort it out,

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Jimjams · 11/09/2003 08:54

Are you sure she's not EBD mieow? If she is the school need to have a strategy in place to deal with her behavour- which is rigidly followed.

My friend's little girl (who has SN) has just started at a special school which has wuite a few EBD kids in. She said because of the EBD kids there is a very strict policy on behaviour, and absolutely no aggressive behaviour is tolerated at all (head is immediately involved).

Could you ask to talk to the teacher and head?

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fio2 · 11/09/2003 08:56

jimjams I have found this with my dd's special school and I just think it is because they are better trained to deal with it than mainstream. Hopefully now there are more key learning centre being set up(my dd's school is also one of these) mainstream teachers will have better access to special needs training.

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ThomCat · 11/09/2003 10:22

Miaow - replied to go on theother thread - but will add here as well - very sorry to hear your little one being picked on and you shoud demand a meeting with parent of little girl in question, the head and the teacher and sort it out NOW.
Good luck, xx

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Batters · 11/09/2003 10:30

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mieow · 12/09/2003 16:05

I spoke to the teacher today who confirmed that the girl involved is on SEN but she said that its all being sorted. I said that he should be safe at school and it can't carry on, she has asked me to wait two weeks and hopefully by then the girl will have her 1-2-1 or help that she needs.

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Jimjams · 12/09/2003 20:39

One to one should help mieow. She should get it as well if she's attacking other children. Ds1 hasn't attacked anyone in his life- but I always use the potential of his frustration to lead to attacks as an argument for more help for him- they take it seriously.

Hope things improve for Connor soon.

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mieow · 15/09/2003 14:23

You are not going to believe this but today DH took DS to school and he burst into tears when he got there, appartently THREE children have been picking on him. He named them and he didn't want to stay at school. I have to go and see the teacher again now and hope that something does get sorted.

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Batters · 15/09/2003 14:53

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lou33 · 15/09/2003 16:41

Oh no Mieow, how awful. Did you bring him back home? I hope this gets sorted asap, poor chap.

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Jimjams · 15/09/2003 18:18

Poor ds- hope the school take it seriously

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WideWebWitch · 15/09/2003 19:11

Sympathy from me too mieow, I really hope this gets sorted fast.

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ThomCat · 16/09/2003 10:18

What happened with the teacher Mieow?

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mieow · 16/09/2003 17:00

I have to write the names down and she will follow it up.

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