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SN children

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Original poster

DS being bullied :(

74 replies

mieow · 10/09/2003 16:06

Have just got back from picking up Connor and the taecher grabbed me as I was leaving. Connor was kicked in the eye by a girl in his class. They have never got on and she is a lot bigger than Connor (Connor's the smallest in the class) and she is a little cow. She was kicking the door when I arrived. The head was talking to her mum when the teacher was talking to me, and I nabbed him as I came out the classroom. He knew what I wanted to talk to him about and I was very cross. I told him that I chose his school because it has a very good SN review and the old SENco was great, but I don't expect to come and find that he has been kicked in the eye. He could have lost his sight and I am not impressed. The mother didn't even say sorry.

OP posts:

Original poster

mieow · 15/11/2003 07:34

Quick update............ DS came out from the class the other day but I needed to go back in when the teacher grabbed me and said that the girl had put a skipping rope round Ds' neck and pulled it. He has a ropeburn on his neck now DH went in on friday and shouted at the Headmaster......... and its all in hand appartently!!!! Anyway DH and I have discussed this and decided that either they DO sort it out or we move DS to another school. I have spoken to the mother and asked her if her daughter has SN and was told no, she just needs more attention!!!!!! unbelieveable.........

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hmb · 15/11/2003 07:35

This is awful! Poor ds and poor you! I hope this all gets sorted out asap. Hugs to you all

coppertop · 15/11/2003 07:59

How much longer do they expect you all to put up with this???! I'd definitely try to take it further, especially if you're considering changing schools. Poor ds - and poor you.

hmb · 15/11/2003 08:16

If this girl isn't on the SN regester then there are two posibilities, either she should be (As having EBD) or she is a bully, and the school's bullying policy should come into play. Her behaviour sounds way outside the 'normal' rough an tumble that you can expect with kids. How old is she? She must realise that she hurt your son badly, and could have done even worse. This has to get sorted, firstly for you ds's benefit and also for the child involved, who sounds disterbed.

robinw · 15/11/2003 08:16

message withdrawn

Original poster

mieow · 15/11/2003 08:29

Well her mother said that the girl needs a 1-2-1 at school because she gets 1-2-1 at home!!!! I asked if she had SEN and was told no but she can't work in a large group, well sorry this is her third year in a classroom, she should be used to the rules and the class size, surely!!!

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misdee · 15/11/2003 08:30

me thinks 'spoilt brat'

Original poster

mieow · 15/11/2003 08:33

Should I do this???

If your child has been assaulted at school then make a complaint to the police. Police forces in the UK have school liaison officers who are experienced at dealing with school-related issues. The age of criminal responsibility in England and Wales in 10 and if the attacker is younger than this then you will probably not find that the police will be able to do anything. However, they are often very good at warning bullies off in front of their parents. Attacks by older pupils may result in cautions or prosecution, particularly if injury is involved.

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misdee · 15/11/2003 08:34

do it!!! the school arent doing much are they.

Original poster

mieow · 15/11/2003 08:36

And what could have happened if the teacher hadn't seen what was going on doesn't bear thinking about!!! But like DH said, you have to have some problems to put a rope round someones neck and pull as you would have to look at them while doing it!! What worries me is that girl will be a horrible teenage and maybe seriously hurt someone....

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Original poster

mieow · 15/11/2003 08:37

You would say that Misdee its your nephew!!

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Jimjams · 15/11/2003 09:00

agree with hmb-it sounds like the school need to do a lot more supervising of this girl in order to protect your ds. difficult if the school are being useless though.Have you spoken to the head?

Davros · 15/11/2003 09:02

Take a photo of the mark round his neck. What do they mean by "its being sorted out"? Not good enough, HOW is it being sorted out? This is awful, especially as I now know your DS from Best

Original poster

mieow · 15/11/2003 09:03

AAWWWW!!!!!!!!! Just recieved the cheque for that too...

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lou33 · 15/11/2003 10:22

I agree the school don't seem to be doing enough. Ask them exactly what they are doing and if you are not happy then make a complaint to the board of governers. Make them sit down and show you what they have put in place to stop this happening again. Take a picture like Davros said, and date it. This is terrible Mieow, I'm so sorry you are having deal with it.

I wonder if this would be helpful to you?

Original poster

mieow · 15/11/2003 13:31

I have been to my mums today and taken photos with her digital carema and printed them off so we have the "proof" now.....

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aloha · 15/11/2003 13:36

I would be extremely inclined to talk to the police about this. This goes way, way beyond normal childish aggression to me. TBH she sounds like a psychopath in the making and a real danger to other children, esp your poor little boy. The school is clearly NOT doing enough.
If I were you I would be so angry I don't like to think how I'd behave.

Original poster

mieow · 15/11/2003 13:47

I am just getting fed up with the "BUT she may have SN" Yes she may but so does Connor and I don't allow him to behave in this manner, DH keeps telling him to hit back but Connor refuses saying its wrong....
The school wanted her assessed by a Physogolist (SP??) but her mother refused........... I think she doesn't want her to have a "label" but I would rather a label of a disorder than a bully....

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Jimjams · 15/11/2003 13:50

if she does have sn -ebd perhaps? then suitable strategies should be put in place to ensure she can't attack other children. It shouldn't be an excuse for the school's failure to prevent her attacking someone.

naayie · 15/11/2003 14:00

mieow - what a terrible time you are having, my ds was picked on by a bigger boy for a while (he didn't tell me for ages, i noticed him not sleeping and then it all came out) the teacher and school were brilliant, it was sorted out immediately (the boy is a well known bully!) he even apologised, but i am concerned that if he is well known for it he will only go onto the next one. Perhaps you could try ringing the girls mother direct or failing that write her a letter explaining you are concerned about your son and could you meet up with her and the girl to discuss it (with or without the schools involvement) if you get no response then the only option you have is to either remove your son from the school or contact the police - this girl is a bully and cannot be allowed to get away with it.

lou33 · 15/11/2003 14:03

I agree. Whatever the reason for this behaviour, there is no excuse for the school allowing it to continue. Many years ago, when dd1 was at nursery (and had sn), a young boy seemed to take a dislike to her and was very agressive. I mentioned it to the nursery many times, and their excuse was that he was having problems at home. My reply? I'm very sorry if he is, but it doesn't give him license to do whatever he wants to my child. They did sort it out, but we moved her shortly afterwards, because I felt so let down by them. Good luck.

Original poster

mieow · 15/11/2003 14:13

Lou33 was it easy to move her or was it a really hard decision? All Connors friends from nursery went to a different school as he was in a SN/mainstream nursery and then I moved him to the school here as it was closer. All the kids knew each other and he was the "new boy" I am in two minds about removing him as he is settled there, though that said he is playing up before school, crying and waking up at night. He has been to 3 hospital appointments this week and had to go in later twice and he was so upset by this and keep saying "she will hurt me"

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misdee · 15/11/2003 14:19

if he is really unhappy, then i would move him. but then i'm protective of him as he is my nephew.

misdee · 15/11/2003 14:19

and remember how useless the school are at getting the rquipment sorted for him at the start of each year.

lou33 · 15/11/2003 14:20

It wasn't hard Mieow. Tbh we had been losing faith with the nursery, and felt we had given them plenty of time to solve issues. She was very happy to move and settled into her new place really easily, and the staff were wonderful. I think if he is upset and you are upset, then the school isn't really working. It's just whether you think it can be resolved, and if Connor can be happy there given enough time (if you think they should be given any more time that is),

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