sorry, have dd2 wailing in my ear, so am a bit distracted... Fanjo's on FB

[silverfrog]

Just a quick post to say I have left the group.

The recent thread has helped cement my thoughts a little.

dd2 is wailing and screaming over somethign inconsequential, and as a result I have managed ot leave the group without posting to say I am going. sorry.

purple, i can kind of see what you are saying, but I am not sure there was ever a breach of trust on the SN board.

there was disagreement, which was not allowed to be discussed, which was odd, as SN was always a place where differences of opinion were ok, and it never dissolved into slanging matches/feuds/whatever.

Silverfrog, I'd miss you as a person. That is what I mean.

Moosemama - please do tell us your crap

This is what I used to love about SN:Children. I felt that you all knew 'Lougle'. And you all knew 'Lougle's DD1'. I felt that I knew silverfrog's DD1, her personality, her likes, dislikes. 2shoes darling DD, MasterStarlight, The minijustabouts, moosemama's little moose, devientenigma's enigma...the list goes on.

Maybe I was vain, but I felt that when I was a source of support, I was supporting those children, those posters. Not like an agony aunt column. Or a Star-sign page. Generic, catch all advice that could be useful or just not useless enough to realise that it was baloney.

When I was getting support, I felt that the advice was specifically for me, for my Darling daughter. I didn't feel the need to say 'but I do love her really' - I could trust that you knew that.

Now, SN:Children, the once safe place, the once quiet corner of MN where we could talk about our struggles and triumphs, where people would understand why a poo was a victory, or even their child saying 'No' was a triumph...is gone.

And, perhaps, it has simply revealed that I wasn't 'Lougle'. I was just another poster. And I didn't know your children, because people don't walk away from people who matter, do they?

I can't be part of a group which quotes and points to threads on here, when those people can't see that it is being done. It isn't nice behaviour.

If that makes me unpopular...well been there before.

Im always here and offer advice if Im able to. Its true newbies will be missing out on advice from posters who are further along the line of dx and treatment. But we all have to do what is best for yourselfs at the time but I hope in time people will come back.

oh justa, that sounds awful. I am sorry you have had that to deal with.

I would like to say that the dissecting threads/posters did not happen a lot. but it did happen. and I'm a zero tolerance kind of person.

I would agree that some bedding in time is probably needed.

Silverfrog - I wish you had given it a wee bit longer as it has moved much more towards just friends chatting in last couple of days.

We had even agreed not to discuss MN often.

I think there is a place for FC and here, I will certainly post on both, unless I get abused by trolls here again.

Anyway, you probably won't want to but we'd all welcome you back, as a person, not just an advice giver.

justabout that's horrible.

You do know that we judge all comments objectively, and score them without regard for alleged personal circumstances? 4

Anything we can say? Do?

Google?

My daughter and I (I am the nanna) only ever came on MN for advice and support, and to support others in a similar position, and we have stuck to that. However my DD has never posted since on this site following an absolutely disgusting savaging she was given for posting a thread which she thought, and which was, admiring and uplifting.

Two of the posters who have left led this attack, and also got people on their facebook page to join in the savaging! I personally don't give a monkeys if they dont return, I just want this site to become the supportive site it used to be with none of this divisive attacks on people.

My attitude is if you cant be nice then keep quite. Having just broken my own rule in the last sentence I probably wont post again either, but my blood still boils at my daughters hurt tears at these vicious people.

I only saw threads linked to which were outrageously awful and IMO deserved everything they got.

I kinked one thread because I was concerned for the OP and hoped people would support her.

Kinked = linked

I don't really have any strong opinions tbh ( I'm generally too tired).. I try as best I can to make up for my moans with a smile thread or too... Because a smile is important :)...
I try my best with throwing ideas, things that have worked with us and advice from camhs asd team regarding behaviour.. Because we fought for years to get any help.. And I try pass some of that on for other to try out if they think it might work.

MN generally is a bit tiring and weirdy ATM ... But I've been about long enough to know it comes and goes in waves.

Dev... I'm coming to look at your thread... I saw Prozac and didn't click.. But I'll pop over :)

you guys have kept me level when I've been all over the place ..

Can we have it back to normal now ( gets fidgety at change in the blooming routine !)

I have kinked a fair few threads in my time

Oh justabout, I was just about to ask if you're alright, but that would be a stupid question.

That would be enough to shake anyone.

Don't be worrying about what's going on here on top of everything else you have to deal with right now. Just take some time to take stock and recover.

Hope its all settled down now.

Crikey you lot are fast. All those posts in the time it takes me to type just one!

... and my posts are always so short and succint as well.

ok
I post on both.

More recently, have avoided MNSN as I have been reminded this is an open forum and therefore nothing on here is private.
The FC on facebook is a closed group where I feel more able to share my thoughts without the danger of journalists misquoting. We are all going through tough times at the minute and what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another.
Everyone is entitled to do what works for them.

waiting - you do know that anyone who is a memebr can add anyone to the fb group?

that it is not made up of SN posters?

one of the things I was uneasy about was that I didn't now who everyone was. it was mentioned a coule of times that it was private - and it is, up to a point. but there were 54 members yesterday, of which I "knw" (as in could link them to a MN personality, insofar as that counts as knowing) about 20 probably. that might be a bit on the low side - probably more like 30-35. but that leaves a lot of people who I had no idea who they were/are.

The FB group is not a closed group. It isn't even a group exclusively of MNers, necessarily.

I did try to say that yesterday, but was told that they aren't babies.

So let's get this right....I certain well known poster who can't be named because MNHQ stamp on it like hotcakes, has left MN because her 'privacy' was taken, because she allowed/didn't challenge the taking of her story to the press.

Other posters have said MNSN is too open to people to attack them. Okkkaaayyy. But then they join a group, where anyone, once joined, can join their friends. What is that expression...the 6 degrees of separation.

You know, the theory that anyone is, on average, just 6 steps away from anyone else...so any two people can be linked within 6 steps.

I join, then I add one of my friends, who I think is nice. But they join, then they add a couple of their friends, who they think are nice, but I am not sold on. Then they join, and each of those two friends join another 3 people who they each think are 'nice' but actually, are pretty questionable....etc.

Before you know it, you have any Tom, Dick and Harry knowing your real names, with your real children's names, with real life details. What if 'catsbummouth' is actually part of the group? What if someone who works for the LA you are going to tribunal against is in the group? You wouldn't have a clue.

Once they join, they can see everything. They may not post, they may just lurk, but they will see it all. And because they lurk, no-one notices they are there.

No thanks.

I totally see what lougle says. If I am right she is still saying it's each to their own and for her that group doesn't work, whereas here does.
Whereas someone like myself now prefers to post anywhere and everywhere just in case I get a reply.
I also think part of the problem here is the consistant name changing and newbies, trying to work out who's who and who has who etc, not naming any carrot which btw thanks for the bump lol x

I wouldn't care if catsbummouthmum was part of the group, tbh,

But you might, just, if you were then talking about your childs educational concerns, and catsbummouthmum took all your concerns to the Head Teacher and caused you no end of trouble?

'but the dissecting of MN threads? and MN posters? I didn't like.

And, due to recent events, I felt as though I couldn't say that. And so it became apparent I was not among friends, however much it might feel like it, as I was biting my tongue, and holding back my thoughts.'

Im sorry you felt this way silverfrog, the very issues was addressed today, it is not fair to discuss MN posters who cannot see the group so the group decided this will no longer happen on the wall...as I said before I didnt think it through, we should have started with ground rules. Although we cannot vouch for every member (some have given their MN names to verify and we will ask, but not force others to do so) it is less public than here...online is always a risk though.

I hope Lougle is wrong in her assessment of what will happen to MN SN board but I dont think it will have been down to the chit chat on FB...more the recent change in posts/public attention maybe, as I said the majority of FC members still post on MN. I hope to still feel welcome on MN but there has been a difficult few weeks in which a lot of posters stepped back (including me)...but they will return as will the chat....I still look forward to Friday Night Thread .

Justa thats sounds awful, I hope your ok. x

Anyhow....DS, 18 months just filled up my toilet with bathroom products and nappies. So I must finish cleaning up the mess.

Different posters, different lives.
I'm with Lougle, I value my privacy and am very careful with the various websites I'm on, including facebook.
It's one of the reasons why I didn't try to join any of the various groups that evolved.
Others are not, but as a teacher, using fb is flagged up regularly as a concern. To the point where many think teachers should not be allowed to use fb at all.
It's just too loose and baggy and full of holes for my liking.

By the way that took ages to type so sorry if it doesnt make sense in the thread conversation. :)