sorry, have dd2 wailing in my ear, so am a bit distracted... Fanjo's on FB

[silverfrog]

Just a quick post to say I have left the group.

The recent thread has helped cement my thoughts a little.

dd2 is wailing and screaming over somethign inconsequential, and as a result I have managed ot leave the group without posting to say I am going. sorry.

And I believe the trolls are still around MN stirring everyone up, just don't feel very equal to them right now, have a lot going on..

:( bloody :(

I am utterly depressed .. You know ..

Hmmmm...justabout, you know I love you, right?

But I have to disagree.

The discusssion surrounding religion and SN is niche. If you need to discuss faith issues around SN, then you need a safe place to do that with people you trust, simply because of your well known monika 'justabout'. Anyone who has been around a while knows of your vocation.

Put it another way...I am actually a Registered Nurse. It doesn't come up all that often. But if my posting name had previously been 'Nurseylou' or 'Louglethenurse', then it would be very hard for me to dissociate any personal opinion on medical issues from 'professional opinion'.

On MN, unless you depart from your 'justabout' name, the likelihood is that you will be seen as the Rev, because you always were, and it is well known that you are.

What has happened with the FC group, is that posters who are 'taking a MN break' are hanging out there. ok. Posters who have left MN are going there...ok.

Fundamentally, that group is giving people less of a need to return to MN. Think about it. If all the 'names' that you are familiar with, all post on the FB group, then you will turn there for your support.

Of course, that brings the numbers down to a more intimate level. Wait a minute, isn't that what Moldies did?

The thing about moldies voting, etc., is a bit of a red herring. Right now, anyone on FB who is 'in the club' can 'add' anyone else. They don't have to be 'judged' worthy. They don't even have to have any experience of SN. Once that individual has joined, they can 'add' any of their FB friends.

Right now, there is no vetting. What happens if even 200 posters decide to join? Will they still say 'anyone can join?' Or will they start vetting. Oh look, Moldies again.

My biggest problem is with the fact that there are people here who are crying out for help. And most of the people who could help them are enjoying being 'supported' by other people who could help.

Come someone please tell me if all the stuff that has upset people is on sn or on other parts of mumsnet. I only ask as I am begininng to think I must be really hopeless at reading through the lines or just loosing the plot.
If however its on other parts then that expains it as I tend to stay in my little bubble on sn.
Thanks

Don't know everything that's been going on lately but sad that so many experienced SN posters have gone.

Oh stress...well the irony is that...I can't really discuss it on here, lol.

I only post stuff that I wouldn't mind other people 'discovering'. Useful policy that. So I will try to be suitably vague....

I have joined an organisation in a voluntary role, which requires that I sometimes act in ways which will be unpopular. I have been in the role for a number of years, but only recently have taken the lead position.

Unfortunately, I have had to deal with an issue, and the subject of the issue is very unhappy with me. I will not be getting Christmas cards. I will not pass go, and I will not collect £200.

Also, migraines are still terrible. Probably not helped by stress. So went to hospital and saw a lovely doctor, who gave a plan of action. Unfortunately it will be a few months before we can see a significant difference, potentially.

I have also just become a governor at DD1's school, so have meetings this week with the HT, to discover my 'role'.

On a plus, the school had a curry night on Saturday, and we went and took my Mum & Dad. Really encouraged the organiser, had a great time, and met a REALLY nice couple whose DD1 is in my DD1's class. Absolutely amazing co-incidence (if you believe in those, which I don't ) because there were only 3 sets of parents out of 110 children in the school, who went to the curry night. 2 of the sets of parents had children in the same class...and ended sitting on the same table, despite having never met.

Oh no justabout. Time to rant was never just about support. The bitching behind the scenes always happened there too. A core feature of any offshoots I think.

Yep, right but uncomfortable..that's me...

I should just learn to swim with the tide. Not in my nature, I am afraid. Never has been. I just seem to have a 'moral compass' that won't let me.

Incidentally, some of us on fc are still going through the diagnosis process (and have been for two years)..

Fanjo, I know...I can't say anything that won't sound like a criticism. And for the ones of you I know on there, I wouldn't like that.

Can I just add, I was on TTR, I also access fanjos club. I have taken a break from here, though I have needed to come back as well as access all areas of support due to the feeling, and please bear in mind these are my feelings, that I don't recieve much support anywhere. Many of my posts all over go unanswered or a few answers maybe. I also feel my post have been judged in the past, wherever I have took an issue, though at times I may just get that little slither, small amount of info/support I am looking for. I hate all this bitchiness that goes on. Do you not think the battles we have at home and with our kids and profs is enough without battling amongst ourselves.
Sorry didn't mean to rant, tried to remain positive x

having been stamping aroud the main boards for a bit, I have seen that it isnot just SN where there is a growing amount of dissatisfaction.

I can't speak for others, obviously, but my unrest grew around the recent events, due to the fact that only one sanitised version of events was allowed ot be discussed. and anyone who said anythign other than the party line was rounded on, accused of not being supportive, etc. and that is not something I like. we all have our own opinions, and having a different opinion is not somethign to be set upon for.

interestingly, I have seen similar in the step-parents board recently, and even in Geeky Stuff there is a growing mutiny as MNHQ forge ahead doing soethign which the regular (and wise!) posters there disagree with (for very good reason, imo)

all over MN there is a growing dissatisfation with the way that MN are playing to the media and the outside world - presenting one united opinion and ignoring the concerns of people who holda differnt opinion.

it is this kind of thing that has made me uneasy to be here. just a general "I'm not sure I agree with what this stands for anymore" - a bit like your original post in Fanjo's, Lougle.

Much as I would like SN to go back to the lovely all welcoming, all encompassing place it was, it has changed, as MN as a whole has changed. whether it settles down into a lovely protective place again - ony time will tell.

I don't think it will collapse because of the loss of a few experienced posters - I am only experienced in dd1's case, after all. and we were all new once. thereis an archive of solid advice - I still refer back to advice by saintlydame, davros, homsa, lingle. it's all still there.

Fanjo, have just sent you a request to join FC. I am on Facebook more than MN these days. Frankly too much of MN scares me

OK, I will add you when I get home in a bit, can't seem to do it on the mobile site

For what its worth, I stepped away a bit from MNSN when I was called an unfit mother who.was neglecting DD, and.other nice things.

I also somewhat resent being told that as an 'experienced' poster I MUST support others, like I don't need as mug support myself, I might have been here a while but am still going through DX process and trying to get support for DD, and probably feel equally stressed and upset.p

I also.can't type.well on the bus

Also, lougle, I do really like you a lot.

But I do find it a bit insulting to those of us who post in fc when you say your high moral compass won't let you post there.

Fanjo...I am not saying 'my high moral compass doesn't allow me to post there like it does the rest of you' I am saying that, ^given my feelings about Moldies; given my feelings that this board needs supportive experienced posters...my moral compass says 'you can't have it both ways.' I can't act one way when it seems cosy and another when it seems uncomfortable, because I know it only feels comfortable, because I am 'in'.

Having said that, valid points made. I can't tell anyone to be supportive to others. I suppose I would just hope that people remembered the time when they were so new...and wanted to share their experience, knowledge and wisdom.

Fanjo, please do ask for support...it's what this place (should have been) for.

Well, be assured that I am not looking for a band of merry men to play my tune

My motivation for posting on FC was simply to explain my departure, to avoid the sort of speculation that often happens.

It was a personal decision for personal reasons.