sorry, have dd2 wailing in my ear, so am a bit distracted... Fanjo's on FB

[silverfrog]

Just a quick post to say I have left the group.

The recent thread has helped cement my thoughts a little.

dd2 is wailing and screaming over somethign inconsequential, and as a result I have managed ot leave the group without posting to say I am going. sorry.

Lougle - I do see your point. but a bit like DevientEnigma, I feel too worn down and isolated by attitudes in the real world as reinforced on the main board here at times to have the energy to take your moral stance. TBH I don't feel I do have much valuable experience to share, as have ended up without a proper DX (other than language delay, and without a statement, I tend more to general language advice and virtual tea and sympathy.....

I also often can't answer your queries, devient. i see you have a long thread going there just now though

I am a poster that doesn't visit very often but has been 'around' a while.

I guess I am guilty of posting when things are difficult, asking for advice etc and then not posting again for a few weeks. Whilst asking for advice I do always read through the SN board to see if I can help others, but more often than not I can't, as ds2 has a rarer condition.

I think you are all right as well about the general feeling on the main board being different now too. I am also a step parent (a happy one thankfully!) but blimey there is no way I'd post there at the moment.

In past times I have seen very well known SN posters fall out on the main board but still be offering each other support on SN. It has always had a different vibe on here, hopefully it will return soon.

im quite new to mn and really sad for the people who are leaving. hope they will return after a break. this site has been fantastic for me with lots of help, advice and support, even at times quite funny. i'm getting addicted to mn, lurking a lot n giving support or advice where i can. think its a fantastic site as we are all able to offer help/advice to others and it makes me feel other people understand my ds problems and we are not alone. hope all those who have left come back because their knowledge, advice and support is to me, a godsend.

slightlycrumpled I hope we can all use this board as we want. I don't tend to rush in with tea, sympathy and ((((hugs)))) as I am not a very huggy person in real life. Tend to use it a) to ask specific questions and hope for replies, and b) to read other people's interesting questions and replies and chip in with a reply if I can be of help.

Surely noone has a 'job' on here to do anything they don't want to, apart from keep civil?

I like going to AIBU for a laugh or a bunfight every so often, and a reminder of just what we are up against in terms of the number of tossers out there with fuckwit attitudes and no knowledge of SN whatsoever. It's a reality check and it upsets me sometimes - would rather live in an SN bubble, but we don't

ps what's a moldie?

lol Fanjo, is that about the prozac??
though take a look at the prozac comments on here. This is exactly what I mean, very lucky for a reply most times.
Thanks to those who have said they will reply with a "don't know what to say or do" at least I know people are there behind me. Take care everyone x

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/1144716-Prozac
this is the thread, sorry to hijack and plug for comments x

I'm fairly new to MNSN and SN in general and although I've had loads of advice and support here I feel like I haven't given much back. I often type up messages and then delete them because I think that just sounds stupid. I'll press send in future.

Devient, I am behind you :-)

Well, I've been here for a while, and mostly all I can offer is sympathy, gin and several different ways to attack schools and staff, using covert and overt methods.
I can't help with DLA, statements or blue badges because I haven't got any first-hand experience. Can't help with legal advice or anything heavy duty.
I do give how to be bolshie whilst wearing flame proof knickers workshops...that's about my limit.

lol fanjo, although we all like to have a laugh, we must still remember that this is about how people feel and need support x

as well as being able to give support of any level.
Goblin, could do with you in my meetings!!

Devient, I was actually trying to be supportive there!

lol, yes I know you were fanjo, I just don't want the thread looking like it's about me!

well tough, it's your turn for the limelight!

I joined mn last year, during dds dx process. I am not experienced in sn but became a regular poster on snmn. This board has been a great source of information, support and advice so I will continue to post. :)

I started FC (not alone) after a thread on here, some regular posters were commenting how it was difficult to recognise our mn friends on our fb friends list. I had become 'friends' with a few people here and thought it would be nice to become more familiar in rl. Also some comments at the time stated SNMN had an 'in crowd' or was too 'clicky'. Immediatley after the group was set up the recent press story hit and mn was a little hectic. I stepped back (a bit)as I was feeling a little fragile, some left, some took a break. I suppose what im trying to say is I didnt think it through, I knew nothing of mouldies/TTR and my only intention was to talk to friends without ruining this board. Since issues have been brought to our attention we have tried to resolve/discuss them, FC is not exclusive it is just a fb group for RL friends who just happened to meet here...were still discussing ground rules so no one gets offended. Many still post here.

Im not sure if this made sense, my brain is fried...bad week. I read the thread yesterday but didnt have the energy to post and was too emotional. I hope I make many more friends on sn mn and those that arent friends I hope I can offer support/advice as so many have to me.

I feel the need to say sorry...but Im not sure why. :(

I think the coincidence of the start of the club - a drunken Friday night thread - and, 2 days later, the media furore, made Fanjo's Club a safe haven for people scared away from MNSN. And, having been in from the start, that was unintentional.

For me, FC is a place to chat to friends I have specifically made through here. It's more about general chat about the little things, where MNSN is for the big issues needing a wide range of views. As far as I can see, FC posts are about the minutiae that you'd chat to a mate in the pub about but would ring your parents to tell them, if that makes sense?

superfantastic you don't need to say sorry. You are entitled to start a FB group, a yahoo group, a google groups group, whatever. People are entitled to join whatever group they are invited to.

But purplepidjin "For me, FC is a place to chat to friends I have specifically made through here. It's more about general chat about the little things, where MNSN is for the big issues needing a wide range of views. As far as I can see, FC posts are about the minutiae that you'd chat to a mate in the pub about but would ring your parents to tell them, if that makes sense?"

That is what MN SN:Children used to be about. Yes, there are the huge struggles. Statementing, DLA, School applications, Diagnosis, Tribunals...But there are also the day to day experiences, which are made a little more bearable if there are people who can't make it better, but can say 'been there' or 'it just sucks'.

IMVHO, and I do stress that it is JUST my opinion - not a political view point that I want others to follow, not an instruction for others...

...If all the posters have their chit chat on FB, which they are entitled to do, then what will happen is this:

MN SN Children will become an 'information centre'. A 'help board'. Not a place to get support, but a place to pick people's brains.

MN SN Children will become dry, transactional not relational.

The posters who are more experienced will simply 'burn out'. Going from one poster's crisis to the next, feeling that they need to answer because there is no-one else to.

We need the padding. We need the moaning and griping about our day. We need the fluff and nonsense. But that will all be going on elsewhere.

Do you know what, it doesn't matter really. It is what it is.

But that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it, and it doesn't mean that I have to stay quiet about it to avoid upsetting people.

As far as I can see, one single event has destroyed my 'home'. Of course, everyone thinks that there is only one person affected by this situation. It isn't true.

Ah, ok. I'm pretty new here so didn't really see all the minutia stuff here.

Change is horrible and, for a lot of people, this seems to be a change for the worse. Thinking about it, even though I check in every day if I can I'm seeing fewer threads I actually feel I can be useful on

I can come and moan about my day if it helps. Its been shitty, but not really for any reasons related to SNs. Although I have had a small revelation about ds1's comprehension of all the 1,000s of books he reads every day week.

I nearly de-reg'd today as well, but thought better of it.

superfantastic - you have nothing to apologise for.

the fb group is what it is - a lot of people chatting. I was uneasy for quite a while, for reasons I posted on there.

I think if it had stayed at the frineds chatting, and even at the support side of cheering on small successes we have, I might have been able to stay.

but the dissecting of MN threads? and MN posters? I didn't like.

And, due to recent events, I felt as though I couldn't say that. And so it became apparent I was not among friends, however much it might feel like it, as I was biting my tongue, and holding back my thoughts.

I didn't like the way it was often decried that posters were no longer on MN, but seemed ot know exactly what was going on - it seemed that the group was more about MN than it was about chatting down the pub/phoning a friend.

I think Lougle may well be right in her assessment of what might happen to the SN boards. I hope not though.

But it is thoughts like that which have been the catalyst ofr me mainly staying away - i do not want ot be seen as "the expert", swooping in to give advice (mostly because I am not. as I said before, I know dd1, and have been doing this for a little longer than some of you, but I am no expert). I am a person. I do not want ot be missed because someone might not find the rigth kind of omega 3 supplement, or a different kind of cup (the questions I used ot ask a lot, so using htem as an example) - I would rather be missed as a person . and I fear that that personal touch is what has been slipping away.

Lougle: totally agree that the repercussions have been more far-reaching than most give credit for.

I think it's going to take a while for some people to build up trust of the sn boards after what could be seen as a gross breach of trust. After all, if you organised a nice quiet weekly evening out with friends and someones drunk Uncle Henry turned up uninvited and started groping everyone, it'd be a while before everything calmed down?