DS tried to escape from school

[dammitjannette]

Some of you might recognize me but I post under a different name these days. DS is 7 and has AS.

I sent my husband to collect DS at lunch time as he comes home in the afternoon ? we?re home-edding in the afternoon because the school have not provided any significant provision to support him pending his statement being agreed.

We had already had a bit of confusion that morning as DS was supposed to be doing school play rehearsal this afternoon and then changed his mind when he realised it would mean staying all day. I had go in to school to explain what was happening.

When DH picked DS up, he had forgotten to go in for school lunch.

Then I get a call from school to explain why he hadn't had his lunch - DS told them he wasn't eating in school today despite having signed himself in for lunch and despite the whole school knowing that he always has pizza! And they say he doesn?t get confused!

The Head then asked to talk to me. She told me that a teacher had stopped DS and another child (another boy in the class with Asperger's!) as they were trying to get out of school premises at morning break. The head then suggests that he has been very unsettled in the mornings now he goes home in the afternoon and this was obviously to blame for him trying to get out of school.

Funny how no one had raised that with me over the last three weeks.

Of course, I explained, again, that I had to flexi-school as there was no provision in school for him and it is unfair for him to be so confused and stressed by the school day. Of course, the response was 'it's Christmas and everyone is confused'. I had to point out this DS's problems are not seasonal!

Annoyingly, DS told me they weren?t spotted by a teacher but that another child ran in to tell and that he was just about to leave school premises. He says he just wanted to come home. But he clearly hadn?t thought it through. He is also very difficult to talk to about these things.

The other boy DS was with is a known 'runner' so I think they should be taking more care

I'm sure they feel it is all my fault for home edding in the afternoon too!! Yes, it may have made him realise he doesn?t want to be in school but he has been so much happier for the break.

Sorry just looking to let off steam really

Dammit - they are incredible, they manage to try and blame your flexischooling rather than themselves for not one, but TWO kids sauntering out of school at break time! At age 7! My kids' school has things called "locked gates" and a "locked front door", you could suggest the lady who patronised you comes to view these fantastic new inventions. Or, if they can't get locks, get someone to watch for small, vulnerable kids making bids for freedom!Unbelievable!

Hope the flexischooling is working out otherwise.

Thanks. At the time, it puts you on the back foot, but then you think, hang on a minute, two Aspie 7 year olds leave school on their own road trip and school don't notice and it's MY fault for flexi-schooling.

Mmmmm, so much for safeguarding.

When you leave your child at school, it becomes the schools responsibility to ensure their safety and well being. If children are only being spotted absconding by other children then this is clearly the school's failure in it's duties. They should be apologetic and explaining how this incident managed to happen and how they will stop it happening again. It is a completely separate issue that of lack of provision/waiting for statement/ home edding. They should not be confusing the2.

You are completely right. The Head caught me off guard on the phone completely but I did make that clear in an email later. Especially as the other boy has 'form' for taking off so they should have been alert to it.

Of course, their line is that a teacher saw it all and stopped them. But I think the point has been made.

It is so draining though. DS's junior play starts tomorrow. It's on for 3 evenings and an afternoon performance. No one has given any thought to what support he might need. We are managing to attend most of the performances ourselves.

I'm sure that if he got stressed and ran off, that would be our fault too!