DS has worked it out for himself

[andperseand]

We have begun the process of second opinion assessment for ASC (AS?) and ADHD for DS2 (9).

He often sits at the computer watching episodes of kids TV. Recently he said he had seen an episode of Arthur which he wanted me to watch and was a bit mysterious about it. Today he showed it to me and I didn't know whether to smile or cry really.

It is about George who makes friends with a boy called Carl who has Aspergers:
www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00rgd9t/Arthur_George_and_the_Missing_Puzzle_Piece/
He would not tell me what it was about, just said 'keep watching and you will see', then he said 'now you know why I wanted you to see it'. I said 'is that what you feel like?' and he said 'yes'.

Afterwards I was a bit worried he might have overheard us using the term, but when I asked him what the character had he said he could not remember then queried 'Astroburgers?'

I am gobsmacked really - a child who often appears to be not in our world at all, but after 2 years of going round in circles with professionals and him currently not in school, he has got there all by himself I love him to bits.

They do that, those wiley ASD kids, don't they?

Just when you think you got 'em figured out, they go and be all clever and that.

Good for your DS. He's self aware and that's brilliant

That's what shook me, self aware has never been a term that would spring to mind with DS before. It gives me so much hope.

:) I don't know whether to smile or have a little tear.

... not self aware enough to get in the bath though .

We have a firm arrangement - Monday and Thursday, but stalemate so far. Have escaped back on here to 'compose myself' for the next round.

No bath = no ...

Something involving going out is often good - you can't take smelly children out in public

DNeph (3, NT) has been known to refuse a bath - at which point, Aunty Pidj, over the phone, has pointed out that smelly little boys aren't allowed to play in the bus (campervan) when we come to visit. Made DMum- and DSis-outofLaw chuckle, but it damn well worked

well done the 'Astroburger' bit- I think the bathtime could just be 'smelly boy' bit?

Andpers,that is good as it will help if/when you get the dx.Am just starting to gear myself up for getting a second opinion too. Hope all goes well for you.

Thanks all! Fighting, have you managed to get a referral?

Bath partly 'smelly boy' bit, but also long-running issue. Problems getting in, then problems getting out. Whole thing can take an hour and a half or more. Timer worked for a while. Need a new strategy!

Sadly No bath = no ... has no effect. Probably partly because I have just lost the will recently.

Anyway, after today I know it is all in there somewhere and we just have to keep faith and keep trying

Not been back to GP yet - dh not sure if dx will be good to have or not as 'will be labelled for life'. I think it will access support and make people realise that he's not just the 'naughty' boy. Have tried contacting a private specialist (can't really afford it) but had no response as yet.Tbh I am struggling to know what to do for the best.

Hmm, andpersand, how about a comic of what to do in the bath? Eg: mummy/daddy runs the water; DS gets in and sits down; DS rubs soap between his hands; DS rubs soap on his feet/groin/armpits; mummy/daddy rubs shampoo in DS's hair (Don't forget to shur your eyes, DS!) and rinses with the jug; DS plays boats for 5 minutes; DS takes the plug out and watches the water run away; DS stands up and mummy/daddy gives him a cuddle with the towel.

The "get out when there's no water" one has worked particularly well for me in the past

HTH, although you've probably done all this before

Oh, good idea purple, thanks. We have been talking about comics but never done one. In fact DS wants to make one of his own so maybe we could do a bath one together at the same time.

He has lasted 45 minutes in a cold empty bath more than once so no joy with that one

Fighting, that's a hard one isn't it. Sometimes I wonder why we want it too but I think we all need a better picture of what might be going on especially because of the anxiety and not being at school. I think DS today has shown that he too needs some kind of 'name' for it as well.

Good luck

Fighting - your boy will definitely not be 'labeled for life'

When it's a helpful dx you share it with people you think it will help - when it's not helpful you don't share it.

No one that you don't tell is ever going to know about a dx.

And yes, you can have the dx formally removed. But I'm not sure it would ever be worth the effort..... Maybe if he was trying to become a barrister or something

Andperseand - Can I just say thank you so much for linking to that episode of Arthur.

I just watched it and cried my eyes out.

DD (11) got AS dx in the summer and we are still coming to terms with it. Seeing AS depicted on the cartoon was very comforting and I can't wait to show my two DDs the episode. (Will help younger DD understand older DD a bit I think - seeing it all in the cartoon format, especially the meltdown).

Re the "label" - we have found it essential for getting help at secondary school (somewhere to go at lunchtime, PE issues etc). We have only told people who need to know.

Good luck with it all

Lol Indigo - ds has said he wants to be a lawyer or the PM when he gets older!

Fighting .. Don't worry about the label for life thing.

Another one here saying my ds has either an asd label... Or an anti social trouble maker label... The first is prefrable!

Oh and I showed ds this cartoon today.. He said " I hate trains starwars is much better did you know that if they could find a way to stop or boyce back the laser beam on a lightsaber it would actually be almost possible to construct a real one due to our understanding of physics blah blah blah and he needs to draw a better lion"

hecouldnt believe someone might be interested in trains :o

and yes there is no punctuation in what he said!
But he dudsay he feels like an alien too!

Typos sorry !

Embracing - was quite surprised I had never come across it before, the amount of digging around I do on the Internet.

It is one to bring tears too, but I hope your DDs find it helpful.

Regarding dx, my DS has wanted to be a wallaby breeder (no idea why, he knows nothing about them, but is adamant!) for the last few years, don't imagine it would interfere with that

Fighting - only the PM? My DS wants to be ruler of the whole world. And if he can't do that he wants to be ruler of the new Mars settlement....

I think I feed him too much science fiction

Thank you for posting the link - I watched it on Youtube at 4:30 am as messrs Apple and co don't support iplayer.

The portrayal is spot on ( have 2 dc with AS) and what's more, I have a vague memory of watching it when it was broadcast. It hit the right note and was in no way patronizing or preachy.

Well done your ds!