AArgh! How do you feed a fussy eater who has little understanding....

[heartinthecountry]

Am at my wits end with dd's eating. She used to be quite a good varied eater but just recently is refusing loads of things she used to eat. I can probably now count on one hand the things she will eat and all of them are sweet (fruit, biscuits).

I know toddlers often do this. And I suppose developmentally she is prob hitting 18 months. But my worry with dd is that it won't be a phase and she will just completely limit her own diet forever.

So what do I do? What techniques can I use? If any? Bearing in mind that she has no concept of bribery (e.g if you eat a mouthful of this you can have this) or consequences. And also rarely shows any hunger because of her medication.... so I don't think 'eat this or you get nothing' type approaches are going to work (also she is a bit underweight anyway).

Or do I just accept it? Find that very hard to do though - feel terrible guilt that I am unable to feed my daughter a healthy diet. Especially when it would probably help her development.

god knows, but if you find out tell me. Can't Eat Won't Eat is a good book- it's ASD based but should be relevant for your dd as well. Also it makes you feel better as some of the case studies are limited in the extreme (white choc buttons anyone?)

I give ds1 a good supplement and hide things in his food (cheeese in pancakes etc) and just keep plodding on with trying.

Thanks Jimjams - it's just hard work sometimes isn't it? Though am beginning to get hardened to the complete rejection of my homemade shepherd's pie

Will have a look for that book on amazon.

A supplement might be a good idea if she carries on like this. What do you use? Is it gfcf?

yes gluten free, made to pharmaceutical standards, no silly sweetners, or colours but I market them so best to CAT me if you want to know more (ghosty told me about them- will be doing a product ad when they expand their uk arm). You can buy them for the same price as me direct from the company though via my website I wouldn't "sell" them to you iyswim.

For iron boosts (best not to routinely supplement with iron even in fussy eaters) I use Spatone (spring water) added to orange juice. Spatone is sold in Boots. I also used to give cod liver oil specifically for the vitamin A (nordic naturals) but buggered if I can get that into him now. A real pain as he was using his eyes properly when on it- now he spends his whole time looking out of the corner of them.

it might be a texture thing hitc- ds1 rejected sheperds pie etc in favour of drier, firmer foods (before rejecting them!)

Mmmm, I'd like that shepherd's pie
DS also did this, eliminated foods over time and is down to a handful and we often go through phases when I struggle to stop him eliminating more. We were prescribed something called Paediatric Seravit, a multi vitamin powder. Don't know about GF etc but might be worth checking out. Otherwise you could ask CDC for feeding support but, tbh, I doubt it would be effective DS does understand bribery etc but its the one area I totally failed in as you worry so much about putting on pressure and turning them off what they DO eat. He was even sick on the kitchen table once when I was doing spoon of X and then a malteser!

DD is the same, not atm though

It got so bad when she was 2 that she fell of those charts thingys and was classed as malnourished. we had to take her to a special dietician and she was prescribed 'fortini" drinks which i used to mix in with bananas/yogurts and things as she would drink them! bnasically we had to put her on a high calorie diet, anything fatty, hiding cream,sugar etc in foods. Drinking polenty of milk etc until she oput it all back on. Plenty of cheese,pies,chip,chocolates anything fatty really. i know it sounds awful but our dietician said you just couldnt treat her like a 'normal' child and fuss over the diet as most parents do iykwim.

hello btw was thinking I hadnt seen you on for a while

That's my normal diet Fio!

you havent met me yet darling

Hmmm, well I play the 'don't eat it game' where I count out bits of carrot (also teachng her to count) and then I say 'right, don't eat any of hat carrot', so she obviously does, and then I run round the table pretending to 'get her' and say 'ohh noooo, she's eaten the carrot, well don't eat anymore'! Works a treat, most of the time.

Other than that, patience and perserverance. It's awful though. Try every trick in the book but please try not to stress. Focus on the things she likes and build on them.

What will she eat, tell me and lets see if we can come up with some dishes that involve them, mainly, but also other stuff.

Nice to see your name btw, hope you're well.

I suspect that HITC's dd is like ds1 and wouldnt understand that at all. Unfortunately. Now why wasn't I offered seravit? Davros you have a good GP!

god sorry hitc- I have no idea about your dd- I shouldn't have said that- I was just thinking earlier she sounded very like ds1 and I know he wouldn't understand that. I was thinking aloud. Ignore.

Well, it's an idea HITC, my DD can't really understand either, but she understands 'no' and facial expressions. It might be worth a shot? Anyway let me know what her favourtite things are and I'll try and come up with a few receipe ideas maybe?

LOL - I think if I say black JimJams you'll say white!!!! LOL
Like I said HITC, I'm just thinking out loud and trying to think of things that might help, that' all.

we were given the powder aswell but dd 'knew' things tasted different with it in plus i think it made her spew more than usual

HITC I can really empathise with you. My dear dear DS1 was a nightmare to feed. He had no concept of bribery either, and would have just eaten nothing if we'd left it up to him.

I might be on thin ice here but I would give her all the food that she will eat, whilst continuing to offer small amounts of "healthy" things. You never know. And give her a good multi-vitamin supplement if she will take it. And don't feel guilty! Have you read George and Sam? Charlotte Moore's accounts of her autistic boys' eating habits are quite cheering in a perverse sort of way.

Also when DS1 was younger I used to spoonfeed him quite unashamedly - I don't know if your daughter would let you do that htough?

Yes- Like Charlotte Moore I count crisps as vegetables. (I hope they are as its the only ones he gets )

Just reading the rest of the thread yes I know I shoudl do that first...

Paediatrician who diagnosed DS1 said ti iwas fine to feed him small amounts of high calorie high fat foods - so agree with Fio2.

Christ my typing has gone to pot - can youtell I've been on the wines?

I count crisps as vegetalbes, especially if they are those poncy ones from Fresh & Wild or Pret!!

Dh found some the other day that were made out of root vegetables. First carrot to have passed ds1's lips for 4 years. Not sure if it counts when they've been fried to buggery.

yes vegetables are fine smothered in VERY HIGH FAT FULL BUTER AND EVEN CREAM

and fruit, SPRINKLE WITH SUGAR AND CREAM CREAM CREAM

are they tesco finest jimjams? i bought some and I wads the only one who would eat them sigh

I think they were M and S. I was too busy gawping at him eating something that looked vaguely like a carrot.

dd2 is also off the charts (just) but recently has gained a little bit of weight. I don't expect this is relevant to you, but you never know - I took her to a nutritionist (not NHS) who reckoned she had a bad case of candida and prescribed various supplements, which have had a huge effect on her appetite (for now, fingers crossed). She also takes a high calorie drink called Enlive, although it's fairly disgusting!

I think diet is one of the areas where it is so easy to feel guilty. My dd has just started eating apples - hooray, but still prefers crips/cakes and all bread products! I guess if you can get a vitamin/mineral supplement into your dd, this would take some of the pressure off?

Oh, and all healthy food is still healthy even if it is drowned in tomato sauce.

We've tried various candida stuff as well. A good one (I found) was sacchromyces- easy to get ds1 to take it (the BIBC prescribed thing was like acid- no way would he have it- and not surprised it was rank). No idea where you get saccromyces though- I can look up the brand if anyone is interested (blue tub).