AArgh! How do you feed a fussy eater who has little understanding....

[heartinthecountry]

Am at my wits end with dd's eating. She used to be quite a good varied eater but just recently is refusing loads of things she used to eat. I can probably now count on one hand the things she will eat and all of them are sweet (fruit, biscuits).

I know toddlers often do this. And I suppose developmentally she is prob hitting 18 months. But my worry with dd is that it won't be a phase and she will just completely limit her own diet forever.

So what do I do? What techniques can I use? If any? Bearing in mind that she has no concept of bribery (e.g if you eat a mouthful of this you can have this) or consequences. And also rarely shows any hunger because of her medication.... so I don't think 'eat this or you get nothing' type approaches are going to work (also she is a bit underweight anyway).

Or do I just accept it? Find that very hard to do though - feel terrible guilt that I am unable to feed my daughter a healthy diet. Especially when it would probably help her development.

what on earth are bumbumbumbum ghosty?

HITC ... our toddlers are roughly the same age btw ...

Jimjams ... DD's word for cucumber

I thought it was someweird NZ healthy snack!

I went through and am still going through this with ds1 (autistic) who stopped eating all fruit and veg nearly 3 months ago. Like you I thought he was going to start limiting his diet forever. To encourage him I even let him eat raw carrot off a plate on the floor (he was being a rabbit) but that only lasted a day and he even stopped eating certain other things. But just a few days ago he actually asked for an apple and he's just had some peas today. This was all related to baby teeth he lost and the new ones coming in. Obviously he's a lot older but just wanted to say that it's unlikely her diet will stay the same. Hope that is of some reassurance.

You could be in for a long ride. Food preferences usually do kick in around 18 months generally, but some faddiness can last an awful long time. J virtually stopped eating at 15 months and had an extremely limited diet from then on - I cooked the same tea for the next four and a half years (sigh). Our turning point came with the Olympics last year which coincided with his interest in geography, so I somehow managed to persuade him to eat five olympic rings in turn while he told me which continents they were. Gradually that developed and he has quite a wide range now.

Even so, I find that if I don't rotate his food preferences carefully, foods that he's previously enjoyed just drop off the radar and next time I suggest them they're back on the 'hate' list. Currently we have a wall chart system of pictures of foods he'll eat, those he wants to try, those he's tried and doesn't like yet etc, and each week he picks three new ones to try and we try to gently put them into his diet. We start by having him tolerate them on his plate, then touch them, sniff them, lick, chew until eventually he'll eat them. Loads of praise for any kind of success, and a gently 'never mind, at least you tried' if he doesn't manage it.

BUT... he's nearly seven, and yours is a long way off that HITC. You might have to be patient until she's old enough to try other strategies. When J stopped eating I consulted with the HV and she said that as long as he was thriving (and he was) there was no cause for concern. If you're in doubt you could speak to yours, maybe even ask for a referral to a dietician if you're really worried.