Dyspraxia advice?

[SummerRain]

Hi all, I've not posted in this section before as although we had suspicions about ds1 being dyspraxic for a long time we hadn't started the dx process as he's never been overly bothered by the fact that he can't peddle, can't draw, falls over a lot, etc so I felt that while he was coping happily enough there was no real urgency to have him labeled as SN.

However he's started school now and the teacher raised the possibility of dyspraxia last week and feels his lack of ability to concentrate, scribbling and lack of spatial awareness, etc are affecting him and the rest of the class () so it looks like we'll be going down the official route now.

I already take him swimming and he does gymnastics (badly ) in an effort to improve his muscle tone and coordination but I was wondering if any other parents of dyspraxics have any helpful advice with regards stuff we can be doing to improve his motor skills a bit and help him cope with the school environment.

In terms of how it affects him mentally I'm pretty confidant of how I handle it as I'm dyspraxic myself so understand his difficulties and quirks quite well. I was never dx as as I was growing up there wasn't much interest in 'labelling' children like me... I was just presumed to be clumsy, disorganised and lazy and assumed those opinions were true until I realised as an adult that I tick the vast majority of dyspraxia boxes.

On top of that ds2 is under SALT and it is strongly suspected he has oral dyspraxia but no dx will be forthcoming for some time due to his age (20 months next week)

ds1 is 4 btw, his birthday was in July so he's young for school but we sent him as he loves reading and letters and was bored out of his mind at playschool.

He was at playschool full-time for a year and they never had any complaints about him or issues arising related to dyspraxia... they described him as a friendly, quiet child who although he wasn't too interested in colouring in or art got on well with his peers and never caused any bother.

His current teacher had him at the 'bold table' for almost a week straight as apparently he keeps talking and messing during class... he says he 'forgets' she's talking or else he gets distracted when another child does or says something and starts interacting with them.

His teacher also seems to think if he can't colour in nicely he'll be kept back next year... I have explained to her that if he is dyspraxic the scribbling is hardly going to improve and that he's very good at the letters/phonics side of things but her only response was 'I've seen no evidence of that'.... possibly because she teaches two classes and junior infants are usually kept busy with workbooks unless she's teaching the same to both classes, she won't start much reading with them til after Hallowe'en. dd is in the same room and she and her friends claim he gets in trouble a lot for not remembering to put his bag away, tidy up, be quiet, etc. They also say he was shouted at last week for making a mess with play dough and teacher told him he was 'Never allowed to play with it again'

The teacher is the principal, I have brought these issues to the parents association and they are being dealt with but in the meantime I could do with some advice on how to help him cope a little bit better with the structured environment before he's given out to so much he gets turned off school altogether.

Hmm, sounds a lot like the school are not helping him very much themselves with the attitude and can hardly expect him to just slot in and behave like an angel after only a short time in school.

I would go to your GP and get a referral anyway so that you can get a better idea of the issues that need to be addressed with him, and also talk to the school and put the ball back in their court and ask them what they are going to be doing to try and help his behaviour and progress in the meantime. They should put an IEP in place for him and spend a bit of time giving him extra help with letter formation etc (since they are the ones worrying about it!...have no doubt they are not getting the best out of him from what you say though) and perhaps some behaviour strategies to help him follow the rules a bit better would be good too. Unless he gets appropriate guidance and reward for good behaviours he can not be expected to understand and learn. The school really should have several different approaches to dealing with behaviour issues as not all children are the same, even putting SN aside.

beautifulgirls... thanks for answering

The school are a disaster tbh, there was a parents association meeting last night and 19 families turned up.... in a school with only 80 pupils, most of them from big families, that's an absolutely astronomical majority and there were other parents who wanted to attend but couldn't. There's a list a mile long of complaints with the school but I raised my issues regarding this particular teacher so for the time being there's not much else I can do other than keep making a nuisance of myself and challenging her when she behaves unfairly towards ds1.. luckily dd and her friends are my eyes and ears in the classroom

Her only interest in having him diagnosed is that they can apply for extra funding if he is (she pretty much said those words to me ) however you're right, I will bring him to the gp next week and start the ball rolling for his sake.

We've also asked dd all the daily routines (ie; in the morning they have to put their bags away, hang up their coats, put their lunch on the trolley and sit down) and we've been trying to help him remember them... at least if he doesn't have to be reminded by teacher to do all the basic daily stuff she might ease up a bit and stop sending him to the bold table constantly.

You should get referred to an Occuaptional Therapist who will give you daily exercises to do - which over time will help improve the dyspraxia.

The school, of course, is a much harder problem to solve.

SummerRain..Your ds1's teacher sounds like an absolute monster!..pity you for having to deal with her!

There is a dyspraxic thread beginning "academic expectations".. But it does concern an older child, might still be of interest tho'

My sons' SENCO recommended a book, a couple of years ago called "developmental Dyspraxia-identification and intervention"-by Madeleine Portwood that i found useful.

We played memory games, like pick up pairs when you place cards face down on a table (tho a whole pack at 4 might seem a lot) and try and remember where the other 9, 5 etc was..
A good core stability exercise he can do while watching a dvd .. If you buy a big beach ball (we used a pilates type size, but that'll be too big i guess)and if he lies on
it and rolls with his feet on floor, backwards and forwards it helps with balance and core stability not simply slipping off!
Even standing on tip toes and down again helps too!

Hope this is a wee bit of use
Good luck!

SummerRain - i ended up changing schools for my DS when he was in year1. The school decided that they knew better than the OT dept at what he should be doing - and didn't do anything - literally. The turning point was when i caught him sitting on his hand and telling himself that he must not use it when he uses a pencil - like a mantra. He still had no hand preference, OT and me were leaning towards left - school wanted a right-hander.
Moved school - it has a MS and a disability base. What a different story - the complete opposite. they re-taught him, letting him guide them as to what was natural for him. he is now confident and thriving.
OT will put you on the right track with exercises, make sure that the school are properly trained, and devote enough time to put plans into action.

My ds is 6 years old. He has recently been diagnosed as dyspraxic. His difficulties were noticed by his reception teacher who referred him to OT. Dyspraxia was not something that I suspected as he had pretty good gross motor skills eg could pedal a bike at the age of 3. His problems revolve around concentration, sitting still, organising himself and handwriting. It took a year of waiting to see the OT, but his difficulties have been significantly reduced by her interventions. We followed a programme of exercises to improve core stability and an OT came into school for about 6 sessions. His writing has matured considerably and he is now able to sit at carpet time without disturbing the entire class. Organisation skills are still a challenge - he forgets everything but we are trying visual timetables to try and help with this.

Thank you all so much for the advice

It sounds like trying to get him some OT is the most immediate concern... the public health nurse is at the school next week and i've mentioned the possibility of dyspraxia as a concern on the form we had to fill in so hopefully she can refer him directly to OT (the health nurse referred ds2 for SALT for his feeding issues at 7 months and he was bumped up their list as a priority case and has had lots of help from them already despite being a long way off a dx so I know it can be done that way)

I still find it so bizarre that ds1 seemed to cope with playschool (which he hated and was very bored in) without any issues yet school is causing such problems... I have an inkling that the teacher is overstating quite how bad he is in there as we had a run in last week and she's the type who can't take criticism without going on the defensive. She sent dd home with another girls homework diary in which she'd written confidential information regarding SN diagnoses and didn't take kindly to me pointing out her mistake

flamingo, thanks for that book recommendation... I'll have a look and see if i can get my hands on a copy now. Will try those exercises too.... a nurse suggested trying to encourage him to practice crawling a while back (he skipped it altogether as a baby) and it was shocking how difficult he finds it, I'm hoping the swimming might help a bit with whole body movements too, he's having trouble kicking his legs but we're slowly getting there.

auntevil... I'm glad you had success with a school move. Unfortunately if it comes to that it's a difficult situation here, we live across the road from the school out in the middle of the countryside and the next closest primary schools are 5 miles away, and not reported to be any better. The closest school with specialist SN approaches would be about an hours drive away.

skihappy... I was able to ride a bike without stabilisers at 3 and although i'm clumsy never had major gross motor skill problems... like your ds it affected me in school in that i couldn't concentrate or focus and my handwriting is to this day illegible. I'm also very ditzy and forgetful, have poor muscle tone, get tired easily and trip over words alot. In fact it gave me the shock of my life when i was researching dyspraxia because of ds1 and read the Dyspraxia Foundation list of symptoms and realised it was a description of me! It sounds like your ds has really benefited from the help he's received, it must be lovely to see him improving so much

A couple of the 'tasks' that OT gave me were trampolining and playing wheelbarrow races. They're good fun - hardly a task. I also have a wobble board. Everyone in the family uses it - we have competitions to see who can stay up the longest. All of this helps with core strength - to stop him being so droopy. some of the tasks that he finds harder are the carrying ones - even 1 bag of shopping, and opening doors. all things that improve muscle tone can help. This helps with sitting etc
The problem with your DS getting older is that his skills might be showing more and more difference with his peer group. In pre-school there are lots of late starters, so not being able to write/cut/read/ know numbers and alphabet etc is normal. As everyone starts picking up the learning pace the slower - for whatever reason - stand out. The teacher might also be worried that his class are noticing things that he can't do. This happened at the end of reception for my DS. He ended up with boys that he thought were friends calling him 'stupid'. He is far from stupid - but it made him realise more that he wasn't as accomplished at certain tasks. He will still say that he is useless at drawing - i just remind him of what he is really good at.
Take the offer of help you can from the school. If it means statementing and getting 1:1 help, or OT help in school etc you can still name your local school as the other schools don't seem to be an option.
Is the teacher/principal also the senco in the school? If not can you voice your concerns there and ask that the teacher be made aware of strategies that will help DS in class?

we have a small trampoline which the kids love but evil mommy put it away as they kept crashlanding off it and injuring themselves (ds1 especially). I'll try dragging it out again and seeing if he gets on better with it now.

now that you mention it I do have to carry his schoolbag for him as he gets so off balance carrying it he falls over and gets frustrated, maybe I should encourage him to do it himself a bit more...

His reading and numbers abilities are ahead of the children of similar age in his class but as the teacher hasn't started doing much of that stuff yet i don't think she's realised. He's never been bothered by the other kids telling him off for scribbling, there were lots of bossy older girls in playschool who gave out to the kids who scribbled, they did it to dd too and she used get very upset whereas ds1 couldn't care less.

He's certainly not the slowest in the class, there's a little boy the same age as him who barely speaks and is very babyish so I don't imagine that's the problem, the teacher seems to feel the lack of concentration and 'boldness' are the problem, and the lack of spatial awareness, all of which we're working on and he's trying hard and avoided the bold table all this week.

The teacher in question used to be the resource teacher (seems to be the title of what ye'd call SENCO over there) so should be fairly capable with kids like ds1 but she seems determined to label him as naughty rather than try different approaches with him [tears hair out in frustration]

Do you think that the lack of concentration could be a little to do with boredom at the moment? The settling in period can be mighty boring if you already know what you're learning. he might concentrate a bit more when he starts to find what she is saying more challenging.
My DS also has stress toys and a wobble cushion to help him sit stiller and focus.

I hope so, like I said he never had any problems at playschool with behaviour... I mean I know it's a very different environment but there were kids there who got in trouble every day and he's in the same class as them now so how he can have morphed from being the one of the best behaved in a particular group to the worst in the space of a few months puzzles me

He can concentrate on things that interest him (tv, wii, books) although he's very twitchy and doesn't ever stay still... but his mind will be on what he's doing.

I'm helping out in reception at a local school at the moment and they are trying to get all the children to learn the basic skills of sitting, waiting, putting their hands up to answer questions, listening to what other people are saying, being quiet at the right times, following simple instructions. I am only now beginning to see how my DS would have found this mind and bum numbing! Lots of children as you say at pre school would have struggled with this and now need to learn so that they can get on with the learning in an ordered way. Have you asked if your DS is like this all day - or is it a particular times - carpet time etc. If in free flow play he is sharing, playing and being generally good, but being disruptive at a time when they are doing very simple learning that doesn't engage him - boredom could be the answer.

Apparently he talks over teacher constantly. When he tells his version though it usually starts along the lines of 'X made a funny noise and I laughed' or 'Y said blah, blah, blah and I said it too' or 'Z and I were turning the pages in our workbook two at a time and teacher got cross'... the other kids never get in trouble for it though, just ds1

I have brought up this at the parents association meeting and the unfair and unequal punishments are being brought to the school's attention anonymously amongst other problems. It has to be anonymous as she's the principal and is notorious for picking on certain kids so if she knows it's me bringing it up both dd and ds1 will be tortured by her.

Your ds does sound very like mine. My ds is bright, but just can't communicate his abilities easily. Even though his writing has improved markedly, he still doesn't like writing and drawing so it's a struggle to get him to engage in these activities. His teacher commented only today that she also finds it frustrating that he is capable but sometimes refuses to do work in class. Carpet time was a real problem, until very recently. My ds just wasn't capable of sitting still or even upright for any length of time. The OT explained to me that his core was very weak coupled with very flexible limbs. She was amazed that he had crawled as a baby. We are now trying to do as much physical activity as possible. That's not always easy as structured classes are not always successful eg gymnastics. Keep pushing the school for a referral to OT and make them understand the difficulties that dyspraxia causes. Distractability is a big issue for my son and I constantly have to point out that noise, busy walls etc in the classroom are part of the problem in managing ds' behaviour.

It is so heartbreaking to read these postings, Our DC moaned about, by teachers who do not seem to understand the characteristics of Dyspraxia.. It's almost as if our children are simply naughty!

My DS and i were so lucky at Primary school, only one of his teachers didn't 'get it'.. The rest knew how to keep my DS focused, they realized it was up to them to maintain eye contact with him, and quietly call him back to the classroom if his mind wandered.The senco gave him a little card he could give to the teacher if he didnt understand something,
without anyone else noticing.This was in a bog standard school in Pembrokeshire.

Its so sad...It sounds harsh, but ignorance is no excuse!...If they can do it here in the back of beyond,they can understand what to do anywhere!

I do think that the HT sets the tone of the school. We are a MS city school. There is another less than 5 minutes walk away (some parents have children in both!). The ethos in ours has always been that individual traits will be catered for, they use the SN budget wisely to encompass many children who would be on the verge of diagnosis and push their education on. The other school is completely different. The HT doesn't even believe that there is a real dx of adhd, etc etc. She told a friend of mine, whose son had absconded from lesson and was found by my friends neighbour caught by his sweatshirt on the railings - who couldn't move - right by a main road - that it was just bad parenting. The whole school does not accept differences, although i understand that there are some good teachers within. They actively try to encourage 'problem' children to leave. What can you do in cases like this? If the ignorance is at the top, it's very hard for good practise to filter through.
I sympathise with summerrain as there doesn't seem to be an alternative school to use. Fighting seems to be the only option.

I've only had dealings with the school for a year and i've already had my fill of fighting with her

dd broke her leg last year, the doctors said there was no reason for her not to be in school but the teacher caused a huge fuss and basically acused me of being cruel to dd sending her in for half days DD was in a cast for 9 weeks and was off the first two weeks and a week at hallowe'en so it was only 6 weeks and for 2/3 of those I was collecting her at lunch until she was nimble enough on the crutches to play out in the yard. When she broke the leg about the only time she cried was when her friend said 'X won't be able to go to school now!' so I certainly wasn't pushing her into it, she wanted to be there and the doctors said it was best if life went on as normal for her and that there was no valid reason to keep her home. The teacher then reported me to the DOE later in the year as dd has missed so much school

There were loads of other issues last year and that was with NT dd... i'm bracing myself for 8 years of hell fighting ds1's corner

SummerRain... Is there any way you could help out at the school? Help with hearing kids read 1 morning a week or something?
Working with the theory of 'keep your friends close, but your enemies closer still'.. Some teachers can get so defensive if they think they're being criticized, even when you're just being a good mum!But if you were helping out it might be different.

Have you talked to any of the mum's in classes above? Over time you may find one that has had similar problems with this teacher, and she may be able to offer advice on how to deal with her.

SummerRain - the more I read about your situation, the more I wonder if you should go down a statementing route - if only to get written in black and white the provision required to let your DS access school without some dinosaur of a HT denying your DS activities.
i also would point out the difference between school viewpoints. My NT son ripped some ligaments in his ankle - during the world cup (to make it worse!). The Dr said he could walk calmly but not run around at playtime. The teacher organised a rota of his friends to sit in at playtime and use the computer, play cars, board games etc in the classroom, while she and/or the TA ate their lunch there. trust me - there was a queue to join him. see how easy it is to accommodate differences if there is a will to do so. I get the feeling there is no will at your school for inclusion unless you can find a stick to beat them with. Possibly a statement (also has the carrot of extra funding) might be the stick required. Look at the other postings re statementing - it's not always an easy ride, but then you're not having an easy ride now. sorry

Almost every parent in the school has had run ins with her at this point, it's a very small school in a tight knit community so word gets around. There doesn't seem to be any way to deal with her other than to go in fighting

Apart from the fact that I'm studying for a degree as well as holding a position on the playschool managment committee so have very little free time, I have a 19 month old at home so i'm not exactly free during the day to go in there. It's not something that's done over here anyway, teachers in this country send their kids to schools they don't teach in even if it's further away so it certainly wouldn't be considered a good idea for parents to be in their children's classrooms.

sorry auntevil, I took ages to write that and x-posted with you.

I agree, I think the official route is the best way forward atm. The nurse will probably contact me on wednesday after she's at the school so i'll ask her then what the best way forward is wrt dx. The hospital that ds2 was referred to by the SALT has a fantastic paediatric team so i'll ask to be referred to them again as the paediatric team in the slightly closer hospital are a joke.

What you've experianced with your ds's injury is the polar opposite to our school. While dd still wasn't up to going out in the yard at break (she culd walk on the cast but wasn't great with the crutches and the ground was wet) the teacher told me she couldn't be in the school during lunch as there was no supervision available. In the mornings they leave the kids out in the yard until start time even if it's pouring rain as they're unwilling to supervise them for 10 minutes extra, it's another issue that's causing massive angst among paretns, as is the fact that they won't let the children into the school to use the toilets during lunch.

sorry about the spelling, nursing ds2 and typing don't mix

typing is good considering!! I just wanted to let you know that schools can be helpful. It doesn't take much imagination to let everyone access everything at school. Only a negative HT can stop teachers thinking creatively.
Do you know anyone who sends their children to a school further away that your DS could share the journey with?
Let us know how you get on with the school nurse on wednesday.

No, but it occurred to me the other day that the mother of a little boy in ds1's class is a SN assistant in a school about 20 mins away... I have no idea if it's a primary or secondary though, I must find out.