Dyspraxia advice?

[SummerRain]

Hi all, I've not posted in this section before as although we had suspicions about ds1 being dyspraxic for a long time we hadn't started the dx process as he's never been overly bothered by the fact that he can't peddle, can't draw, falls over a lot, etc so I felt that while he was coping happily enough there was no real urgency to have him labeled as SN.

However he's started school now and the teacher raised the possibility of dyspraxia last week and feels his lack of ability to concentrate, scribbling and lack of spatial awareness, etc are affecting him and the rest of the class () so it looks like we'll be going down the official route now.

I already take him swimming and he does gymnastics (badly ) in an effort to improve his muscle tone and coordination but I was wondering if any other parents of dyspraxics have any helpful advice with regards stuff we can be doing to improve his motor skills a bit and help him cope with the school environment.

In terms of how it affects him mentally I'm pretty confidant of how I handle it as I'm dyspraxic myself so understand his difficulties and quirks quite well. I was never dx as as I was growing up there wasn't much interest in 'labelling' children like me... I was just presumed to be clumsy, disorganised and lazy and assumed those opinions were true until I realised as an adult that I tick the vast majority of dyspraxia boxes.

On top of that ds2 is under SALT and it is strongly suspected he has oral dyspraxia but no dx will be forthcoming for some time due to his age (20 months next week)

The nurse was there today and has just rung me.

She's going to discuss it with the school doctor and if the doctor feels it's appropriate he'll be freferred for an assessment with the OT.

Should hear soon either way

referred even freferred sounds a bit dirty doesn't it?!

Apologies for late response. With regards to time management Auntevil it's tricky - I developed an exam strategy which worked for essay questions (all my A level subjects were essay based except French). However this was how I did it for A level and my degree - I spent 10 mins really thinking about Qs and planning and it made life so much easier. General time management tips for exams though are the general ones I have- it just takes a while to get used to it - read the question, write nothing except planning notes for the first 5 mins etc. The main thing I think with me was that I tend to waffle if I don't have structure. Once your Ds is writing essays or longer answers to questions then a plan is essential. Even with shorter answers just jotting down points helps, especially where short term memory is an issue.

Summer - diagnosis could be useful for you, depends on your circumstances. I sobbed in front of my GP for 45 mins explaining why I thought I had Dyspraxia so she referred me to a Neurologist. He basically said from what he understood of Dyspraxia I sound like I have it and that I was clearly intelligent enough to self diagnose... he tested my reflexes (almost abnormal but not quite) and said that there was no evidence to suggest my difficulties were caused by anything else. I saw a neuro-psychologist 6 months later who said I was a classic example of Dyspraxia. For me I have benefitted - my parents have completely understood, they now realise I'm not lazy, I genuinely do find some things harder, and don't moan about me spilling things etc (I must point out they have never made me feel bad with any of my problems). My boyfriend is also more tolerant of me for these things, we have a system where we dish out chores based on ability, he does majority of things involving fire and sharp objects (I catch my clothes on fire when I cook sometimes) and I do most of the cooking (Dad's in Master Chef society so I learned from a Master)

However the main advantage is that I am protected under the DDA, I was able to seek extra help from Remploy with finding a job (they got me a contract position with the Home Office, I found a full time job before I was due to start but the role would have given me my first office job experience had I not found my current job). I also get support in my current role - they advise me on various issues and have given me tips to help me cope with working in a busy and noisy environment.

It could help your Ds with diagnosis if you're diagnosed I guess. I'm pretty sure my Father has Aspergers now I've researched these things in more depth, a lot of the stories he has told me about his 'strange' relatives (both living and deceased) look like my Father's side has a strong history of Autistic disorders now I recognise certain traits. If you did want to persue a diagnosis then I simply went to my GP and asked for one, at the time I was unemployed and struggling to pass the exams I needed to get a graduate job (they all seemed to require maths geniuses for HR roles, my DP is an Economist with an A at A level and he couldn't do some of them) so I said I wanted to know if I did have a neurological reason for my problems, 2 months later I was diagnosed.

Google the Dyspraxic Adults Forum, loads of info and advice on there, many adults struggle to convince their GP of a need to diagnose at this stage but you might be lucky like I was. Also it can be a good resource for you to see what problems we face as adults - can help you to limit these for your DS in advance or to be prepared for them as he grows up!

Minty, thanks for that... lots of sensible advice to think about. If ds1 is referred i'll definitely consider asking them to assess me as well.

The thing is I've learned coping strategies over the years and am far more accepting of my own limitations these days so don't get depressed and anxious because i'm 'differant' anymore.

DP is very understanding and tolerates an incredible amount of ditziness, disorganisation and bizarre clumsiness from me with little complaint

I actually discussed ds1 with my mother yesterday and mentioned dyspraxia, she asked what it was and I replied 'basically what I have, I just never had a label' and described the symptoms. I expected her to snort and say 'Don't be daft' but she was actually pretty good about it, I think she's had a lot more exposure to a variety of SN and differant abilities over the last few years since she's been back working and has lost a few of her judgemental and dismissive opinions.

I'll hunt down that forum tonight when i have a bit more time, thanks for the suggestion

Yay! SummerRain Just had a catchup.. Looks like things may be moving along!
Hope school doc isn't a numpty, and gets the ball rolling a bit more!..One day you'll have official back up, I'd love to see HTs face when she moans about your ds1 'fidgeting',and you can say "Yes, it's a dyspraxic trait love, didn't you know?"..

lol.... that day may be a long way off with waiting lists around here but i am rather naughtily looking forward to it

I did enjoy the gasping fish face she made when, 2 minutes after telling me she felt he was very obviously dyspraxic, she was complaining about his scribbling and telling me that it meant he was obviously too young for school and I replied 'Well if he is dyspraxic the scribbling's hardly going to improve much in a years time is it? '

MintyMoo LOL re the no activities involving fire and sharp objects - images spring to mind!
SummerRain I'm pleased that the School Nurse is taking everything seriously and referring - It's a start. Just remember the old cliche of eating an elephant one bite at a time. When some of the bits get stuck in your throat - there are always so many of the SN mums that have been there and can give so much advice. They have spurred me on many a time. Just remember when you get your moment, post it as 'i enjoyed the gasping fish face' and we'll all be smiling
Re organisation/disorganisation - i try to sit down and discuss DS's homework - mainly so i know he doesn't jump in at the deep end head first! We also try to make sure there is a clear space, he has everything he needs sharp pencil, eraser etc. I just get concerned that if i am not around (at school etc) that he doesn't rush everything.

thanks auntevil... i've really appreciated the advice and good wishes on this thread. tbh i've always felt a bit wary of posting in SN before in case i was told to bog off as i'm very aware that what i have to deal with is a mere drop in the ocean compared to what some here have on their plates

You guys wouldn't believe what happened the other night.

Went to football with dd and it turned out training wasn't on but the man in charge told me another little girl and her dad had turned up and were kicking a ball around on the pitch so we went in to join them as dd was disappointed about training beig off. Myself and the dad were chatting while the girls played and suddenly he asked me 'I don't suppose you know anyone who has a child with dyspraxia do you?'

Considering most people round here think you've said dyslexia when you mention dyspraxia and don't have a clue what dyspraxia is I was faiirly gobsmacked to be asked that out of the blue but told him my ds1 wasn't diagnosed but it's suspected and that ds2 is suspected of oral dyspraxia.

It turns out the man has a son with dyspraxia nad was so frustrated at the lack of support for parents he set up a regional dyspraxia foundation to support and fundraise. It's only just getting going but there's a meeting next week and there are a few other parents who haven't had diagnoses for their kids yet and he said that doesn't matter at all, he knows how long winded and confusing referrals and treatment can get and it's one of the main reasons he set up the foundation as he and his wife found it so hard having no-one to talk to and get advice from when they were going through it with their son.

Even weirder, like me he's fairly certain he's dyspraxic himself but was simply labelled lazy and clumsy as a child.

How peculair a coincidance is that?!

Summer - how random but also how awesomely cool :)

Did you check out the Dyspraxic Adults forum? I haven't posted on there in months (had a crazy time since spring) so I've really got to go back on there and update everyone with what I've been up to.

Tell that guy to join - there's some really good info on there for living as an adult with Dyspraxia but a lot is applicable to children and teens as well. There's also a dyspraxic teens forum somewhere as well.

One cool thing on there is a developmental questionnarie that someone was asked to complete for adult diagnosis - I did it before I saw my Neurologist - 11 sides of A4 and it reminded me of stuff I'd forgotten I ever did (such as walk on tip toes until I was 7 with a stooped shoulder)

Questions are here - some of the earlier ones could be useful for people with DCs who have it - gets you thinking about the relevant stuff. Sample answers from people with dyspraxia on the site.

As a baby / young child were you aware of any problem in the following areas:

Complications during Pregnancy
Complications at or after birth
Milestones: Crawling, Walking, Speaking etc:
Infections
Dressing for P.E, managing small buttons, fastening zips
Tying shoelaces, ties
Cutting with scissors, drawing, tracing with precision and accuracy
Holding pencil with conventional grip
Learning to write letters and numbers
Differentiating left and right
Colliding with people and objects
Hopping, skipping, jumping
Using apparatus in P.E
Playing throw / catch
Keeping time to a musical beat
Managing Stairs and escalators
Overactive, unable to sit still, fiddled with objects
Liked / disliked fast rides
Easily distracted by background noise, movement outside classroom
Disliked waiting in line
Took longer to complete work
Upset by failure

There are more questions on the site for older children and adults but you can get the gist :)

Summer - hope you went out and bought a lottery ticket - I think the chances of winning are similar to meeting this man. Someone somewhere must have been pushing you all to 'bump' into each other! Brilliant news - and hopefully a support network - all working with similar schools and LEA - and other organisations. It does make a difference to sit and chat to someone who is going through similar experiences. You might not solve anything, but just knowing that you are being understood can make you think clearly.
Loved the checklist, barring the complications during pregnancy and infections - that is DS! Always blamed the dislike of waiting in line on his German background - towels on the sunloungers etc!!

Summer What an extraordinary happening! Thats' brilliant and positive..

I am just going to have a little quiet rant now...Its great, you spend years getting statements, letters go in the relevant school files,Yes my DS2 has dyspraxia and ADD, Its official.. But do the teachers remember or understand?? He has 5 different subjects a day, but having forgotten to put his school diary back in his bag,and realized last night he didn't know where his geography exercise book was, he couldn't do his homework.. He was in such a state, worried he was going to get detention... The head of special needs has even written it on the staffroom blackboard, in the past,they just don't get it!

I could scream AAARRGH!..and then theres the P.E teachers, a different one every week, the letter from the head of biomechanical podiatry has written to the school, explaining what DS"s limitations are, it's in his file, but every week i have to write a note to the teachers'.. blah blah blah ITS IN HIS FILE, so have now resorted to phtocopying the same letter, just filling in the relevant date..

Rant over.. Thank you for listening..For once our DC hit secondary school it gets trickier!tomorrow i shall kick ass again,Wonder what the head of special needs can come up with now..Maybe a badge saying "remember i'm dyspraxic?" for DS2 to wear!

Jellykat... sorry you're hitting a wall with the school

did have to about the badge though... ds1 needs one of those just for dp... the amount of times i've had to pull dp to one side and point out that he's giving out to ds1 about something he can't really help is astonishing and this is his own child were talking about! I think some people just have huge difficulty wrapping their heads around the fact that although there's nothing obviously 'wrong' with the child they might still have to make allowances for for that child's paticular capabilities.

Hope the ass kicking went well, come rant again if it didn't... it's good for the mind and the soul to let off some steam and shout (albeit virtually) a bit

Minty... i've lurked a little on the forum but not delved in too deeply yet, didn't come across that questionarre you mentioned but will definitely do that asap

SummerRain- Phoned the school again this morning, head of special needs' secretary said "Aah yes, talked to her yesterday, and we think you should discuss it with the head of year.. shall i put you through?".. HILARIOUS
They had no idea as to why i was phoning, hadn't even asked!

My reply was.. Actually my son is having problems in your school, directly related to his Dyspraxia. Dyspraxia is classed as a special need, you are the special needs dept. I wish to speak to the head of that dept!

New head of senco since Sept, seems she may be a tad lazy! So eventually got appt to see her Tuesday.. Silly cow, trying to pass the buck to head of year indeed! It really feels like they cant be arsed sometimes, until you point out that you take your DS/DDs education and happiness seriously..

We moved here to rural West Wales 5 yrs ago,and his primary school was excellent,but his Secondary school is pants!
Trouble is it's the only bilingual school around, the other school is totally welsh,and therefore gets better funding, equipment etc. My DS2 has enough trouble dealing with his first language!.

By my reckoning tho' a senco can still do their job, be it a bilingual school or not!

Jellykat - just a thought, but what are the politics like at the school. Does the head of year have more authority over the teaching staff that may affect your DS? If the senco is a lazy mare - she might not be doing her job properly anyway. I have found in my - albeit limited -experience, that a bit of flattery to an assertive teacher can do wonders. You know the type of thing - I've understand that you lead a really strong year at the school and i wondered if ...... .

auntevil..They all seem cut from the same cloth
i'm afraid, they all seem to need to 'get a grip'!!

Have to quickly say theres a thread headed 'urgent' with a link to to a consultation paper to fill out re. special needs and education.. but be quick the consultation ends tomorrow! ..Just put the world to rights in it!

here

Link to the Questionnaire there. It's in the getting help and assessment section at the bottom - hope it helps!

Thanks for that Minty... the search function on the forum wasn't finding it for me at all.

Jellycat.... our school are similar... eevrything is somebody elses responsibility which is very frustrating. Make sure you come back on Tuesday and let us know how you got on with her.

Our school has just announced there are going to be parent-teacher meeting next week bizarrely early in the year to be bothering, think they're running scared now they've realised so many parents are unhappy

Good luck tomorrow jellycat

SummerRain Did good today with new head SENCO! My DS is still on 'school action plus' , but i pointed out he is getting NO help from anyone, in fact his teachers' seem to have forgotten his Dyspraxia, and he is having a really hard time from them, to hurry up with work etc.. asked if this was confidence building or positive in her opinion?

She seemed a bit flumoxed!!

Yay, lots of new stuff put into place starting tomorrow,and will meet with her end of Dec to
review the situation!

Seems you have to stay on the case at all times!!

How are you getting on?

p.s Thanks for remembering yesterday!

Glad it went so well jellykat... i hope they pull their socks up now and actually stick to what they've promised.

still haven't heard if ds1 has gotten the referral to OT... could be a while before i hear so trying not to focus on it too much. Parent teacher meetings tomorrow and i have a few issues to discuss with the teacher so hopefully i can be as brave and eloquent as you obviously were today.

That dyspraxia foundation meeting is on thursday evening as well so should be interesting, although I have an online OU tutorial that night too so i'm going to have to choose between them

Don't know if you'd call it brave, hee hee..
Always find it helps to have a list of things i want to discuss- keeps me focused, oh and i have a file which i plonk in front of me.. kinda "ok,i have done my homework and its all in here, so don't try and fob me off"...

Also helps being nearly 6ft and a bit scarey looking!

See how you get on at PT meet tomorrow, if you come out frustrated, go to Dyspraxia meet and get some support..
If you come out feeling like some progress has been made -OU
What're you studying?

I'm doing an environment module, going for an Environmental Science degree in the long term but won't be finished til 2014.

The teacher sent ds1 home yesterday with a milk carton leaking all over his bag. He told her it was leaking (school milk supplied by them during school hours) and she did nothing, just sent him out the door with milk dripping out the bottom of his bag Her laziness is really making me see red now and i'm struggling to think of a polite way to say 'Oi bitch, you're paid to do a job so fecking do it woman'

What a great and interesting subject to study!
Though i should imagine also quite depressing and frustrating given the way things are heading!

I co-own a smallholding in Pembrokeshire, there are so many projects going on here, the best being 2 villages down the road,have the go-ahead to buy a wind turbine which will give them enough electricity, and the remaining put into the national grid, which they will be paid for..Brilliant idea! particularly as its blinking windy here by the sea, and on the Preselis'..

But i digress... Your poor DS1! How embarrassing for him!It really sounds like his teacher can't be arsed, trouble is shes supposed to be in a position of trust, your DS is in her 'care',during school hours..Lazy cow!

Hope you are making a note of all these incidents, with the date, should you ever need it for 'evidence'! ,Have you said anything? Try shaming her, i.e "Oh my sons' pencil case was swimming in milk when he got home on Wednesday, he did mention it to you...." and just look at her, awaiting reply
Maybe if she realizes that you're on her case,she might pull her socks up? This tactic is always worth a go,especially if other people are within earshot..

Let us know how you get on tonight at PTA if you go, good luck !! p.s Any more thoughts on bypassing school and getting a GP referral for assessment?