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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

oh I do wish people realised how easy they have it

137 replies

2shoes · 29/07/2010 10:23

just a bit of a moan, to get it out of my head.

just read a thread where people seem unable to cope with toddlers.oh wtf would they do in our shoes for a week
my BIL And SIL have jetted of with there 2 nt teen sons for a holiday, I mean a real holiday, not the type I will have in a week or so, where I just move to a different location and work twice as hard.......

moan over, green eyed monster back in it's box

OP posts:
thefirstmrsDeVere · 30/07/2010 18:05

Realised that my post last night was beyond whingy.

Sorry

SookieD · 30/07/2010 18:26

Fanjo, are you in Scotland? I'm in Alloa but haven't heard of the yard. Whereabouts in Edinburgh?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 30/07/2010 18:28

It's in Eyre Place Lane

www.theyardscotland.org.uk/

LJS666 · 31/07/2010 00:35

Hmm, my sister, should I say ex-sister, phoned my 8 year old on his bday. I had tried to control the conversation and had fed him things to say. Unfortunately she wasn't there when he phoned to thank her for £20, then she called back when the "right things to say" had slipped his mind and he came across as rude. Perhaps he was, but he had forgotten who she was.

So he was rude and then she was mean to him, on his 8th bday, and he went to school crying.

I wish she'd kept her £20.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 31/07/2010 09:22

That's horrible

thederkinsdame · 31/07/2010 11:17

Thanks for the reccs for Taplow and the Yard. Will defo try out both ad we have rellies near to each and we always struggle to think of somewhere to take DS. Will post when we have tried them with a review. It may be sometime though!

strawberrycake · 31/07/2010 13:19

I sometimes go to this form as it brings back a few childhood memories.

I haven't got a dc with sn but this thread has made me smile remembering days out with my sister with sn. I remember being very VERY defensive of her (9 years older than her) and battering telling off the odd tennager who was rude when she was a teenager. I remember the time we went skiing (whyyyyy?? she has NO spacial awareness and no central field of vision) and she weed in the snow. I told another little boy who stared 'you want to do it too, it's fun, but you don't have the guts'. He agreed

No so good was teaching her to skim stones, she got bored and climbed the sea defence wall. Tried to join in again after a while by skimming a chunk of loose cement. Into my head 6ft below....

She's moving in with her boyfriend this week into their own flat! We're very proud, she's only 19 and we were told she'd never be independent. They work well together though and fill in what each of the other can't do. For example she cooks simple meals, he remembers that cookers but be turned off or she walks to the shop and knows what to get, he can judge speed and distance when crossing the roads on the way there. With DLA and a flat they can get by without worry with both families nearby.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 31/07/2010 13:57

always happy to meet up with people at the Yard if anyone ever fancies going!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 31/07/2010 13:58

glad your sister is doing so well!

smallwhitecat · 31/07/2010 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

roundthebend4 · 31/07/2010 14:22

mind i would also say you can get judgey pants sn parents as well where some like to se there dc are more disbaled have more sn rather than just seeing it as differnt sn needs

BialystockandBloom · 31/07/2010 14:58

Only in the sn world would working full-time be seen as just as good as a holiday

phlebas · 31/07/2010 15:36

strawberry that's lovely (brought a tear to my eye actually) - you must be bursting with pride

99% of the arguments between dh and me are about the fact that he gets a rest when he goes to work. I know it is completely unfair - we'd be buggered if he didn't work - but I am just so tired. I'd love to have something else to think about (talk about) - might be able to maintain a conversation.

We had a two week holiday this year (booked and paid for by my parents bless them - I think they thought it would help, we had misgivings about the plan from the start but felt obliged to accept). We managed a week - I came back with a chest infection that still hasn't shifted & dh is only just getting over the stress now (2 weeks later). We won't even try in future - maybe days out instead. ds was potty trained (again - this is the third regression), but not anymore.

nikos · 31/07/2010 16:15

Strawberry - how lovely to hear of how successful your dsister has been. Well done to you and your family and her for getting there

saintlydamemrsturnip · 31/07/2010 16:19

Roundthebend - of course some kids are more disabled than others. There are kids in my son's school who can't sit up and who can't eat (tube fed) of course they're more disabled than my son. I wouldn't want to swap and I certainly wouldn't be defensive if they pointed it out.

Working certainly helps retain some sanity. It's been possible for me to work flexibly since ds1 has been in school full time and it does have a big effectbon mental health for me. Occasionally it adds extra stress (mainly in the summer holidays when I can'g get to it). Usually it provides a break.

thederkinsdame · 31/07/2010 16:31

phlebas, I can certainly identify with you. My DH is sick of me saying 'It's all right for you. You get a lunch break. And when you are at work, you get headspace to think...' He thinks IABU as I don't realise how hard he works.

roundthebend4 · 31/07/2010 17:18

Saintly I'm not denying that and would feel the same but maybe my feelings are related more to rl ATM where it's been made clear that ds should really nit be going to Sn group by staff and parents because he roes not meet what they feel is Sn maybe I'm defensive but sick being told I'm lucky that ds does not do .... Or ...... But people forgetting that ds can't do other things

Not belittling anyone just wish people could accept than Sn comes in lots of ways and forms

maybe I'm defensive but when someone tells me how lucky I am and ds n

feelingbetter · 31/07/2010 17:22

Yes I'm lucky DS has SN too.

This year our holiday will be 3 miles down the road for our first visit to the hospice.

He is 2.

I'm sure there are plenty (not here obv) who will moan that we stay there for free and would you believe it, they'll feed us too........lucky, lucky us.

Fuckers

Original poster
2shoes · 31/07/2010 17:23

roundthebend4 Sat 31-Jul-10 14:22:08
mind i would also say you can get judgey pants sn parents as well where some like to se there dc are more disbaled have more sn rather than just seeing it as differnt sn needs

good point, imo the sn topic is an eye opener to what people on here. I used to envy people who's kids had sn but could walk/talk, but you only read a few threads to see how hard having a runner can be.
at least I don't get that(smile)

OP posts:
willowthecat · 31/07/2010 17:28

roundthebend - What do they think is SN though ? Have they just got into a clique and don't want others ?

roundthebend4 · 31/07/2010 18:25

yes it has opened my eyes to and made me more understanding and that am fortunate that ds can undestand and does not have the same need for order that other dc need in their everyday live

Willowcat most of the dc have classic Asd or Sld , while no one doubts ds has sn cant miss the wheelchair though saying that seem some can or cant answer me back well not so ican understand him got to be some advantges

Think there just blinkered to what is sn ,being on here has opened my eyes to and made me more understanding and that am fortunate that ds can undestand and does not have the same need for order that other dc need in their everyday live.

But mor ethey cant see that there is only me have balance 4dc needs and they only see a snapshop of it and ds3 needsd are very real , were in Hotel de Addenbrooks atm thanks to his stinky epilepsy

Mind once upon I time I could put ds in corner when misbehaved now he just wheels himself out

roundthebend4 · 31/07/2010 18:26

opps double lines
i shall blame it all on the lack of sleep

saintlydamemrsturnip · 31/07/2010 18:30

Oh I do know what you mean - ds1 can't attend 99% of SN groups here. It was irritating until he got a place at a small centre that is ideal for him so now I don't care iyswim. I do know where you are coming from though.

siblingrivalry · 01/08/2010 11:10

feeling better. So sorry you are going through this. x

daisy5678 · 01/08/2010 11:21

Roundthebed, I know exactly what you mean. There are some parents (even on here) and professionals who like to create a hierarchy of disability - 'my child is more disabled than yours so my life is harder than yours'.

Of course there are different levels of disability and some children are more severely affected than others but I think the model of looking at how severely the disability affects the life of the child rather than assuming a physical disability is always easier/ harder than a mental one makes more sense.

And I don't get why the competition bit is necessary - I hate all the 'norms' vs the SN world bollocks and even this thread makes me think 'what's the need?' even while I understand it and have felt the same listening at the school gae last week.

I am aware that I am contradicting myself but I do wonder what it is about us women that gives us a martyr complex and makes us feel the need to compare ourselves all the time.