7 year old DS school problems

[SENMum12345]

Hi all
I’m looking for advice again.
My 7 year old DS is autistic and ADHD.
He is in a mainstream school because he isn’t severe enough for a specialist school.

Long story short, he struggled in year R, did really well in year 1 and 2 with his EHCP, 1-2-1 TA, visual boards etc

Entering year 3, he is now being bullied by a group of 4 boys that like to say things that make him upset as they find his explosive reaction funny.
DS however then hurts himself after he’s been angry because he doesn’t like, in his words, being bad.
Since this bullying has started, I am now getting calls daily from the school about him fighting other kids, the narrative being from the other kids because TAs weren’t there and they claim DS doesn’t want to tell his side.

When I ask him, it always starts with someone hitting him first or saying something to make him mad or teasing him.

I had a meeting with the school and we agreed to bring in a behaviour plan again but I’m beyond frustrated.
I don’t understand why the support has been reduced for him and why no one is seeing a link.

What should I do?

When you say support has been reduced, do you mean support in the EHCP isn’t being provided or do you mean up to now the school has provided support in excess of what is in the EHCP and now they aren’t?

Is full-time 1:1 detailed, specified and quantified in DS’s EHCP? If so, why wasn’t a TA there?

If DS is being bullied, what is the school doing to keep DS safe?

He is in a mainstream school because he isn’t severe enough for a specialist school.

Who told you this? Is your preference special school?

The support in the EHCP isn’t being provided due to staff shortages they say.

The school said they’re trying to repair the relationship between my son and his bullies but it seems they just say sorry then seek him out to do it all again at break time.

The specialist schools we spoke to said he’s not severe enough to need a specialist school.
Problem is he was thriving in the classes, he’s so smart, but the specialist schools only teach maths and English so it would be holding him back educationally

Staff shortages are not your concern.

If provision detailed, specified and quantified in DS’s EHCP isn’t being provided, speak to the LA. Do this in writing. Ultimately, under section 42 of the Children and Families Act 2014, it is the LA who is responsible for ensuring it is provided. If chasing the LA doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter. Lack of resource, staffing or funding is not a lawful excuse for failing to provide the provision in F.

Alongside this remind the school the EHCP is a legal document and not optional and they must make their best endeavours to meet DS’s SEN.

If SS is your preference, have you looked at other SS including independent and out of area schools? There are SS who teach more than maths and English and cater for academically able DC. Also, think about what you think rather than relying on the schools’ opinions.

What have school done in regards to the bullies?

other than trying to repair relationships? I can see why that wouldn’t work, so what is the next step?

is your son able to go back inside at break times if things start to heat up?

i agree with @roaringdragonregarding staffing. I would be really angry and upset to be fobbed off with there’s not enough staff. They need to find them basically.

They make the kids play together and say sorry as ‘repair work’ but all they do is say sorry then immediately go back to it

My son ends up having what they call ‘logical consequences’ where he has to sit with a teacher at break and lunch because he was violent

I don’t know what else they do with the bullies but it doesn’t seem like much. I’ve even contacted the bullies parents and asked if they can have a word with their kids and they just fobbed me off saying kids will be kids.

My son can go back inside when things get bad but he sees it as a punishment so doesn’t want to
He wants to stay outside and play with his friends

I have debated moving to another school but I’m worried how he’ll feel losing the friendships he’s spent years making.

I think you need another meeting with the school. Taking a two pronged approach. Firstly, if the EHCP includes full time 1:1 including breaks and lunchtimes and it was being followed, this wouldn’t be happening. Secondly, getting everyone to say sorry isn’t enough. The school needs to put in some proper work to build relationships and deal with bullying.

Are there any outside lunchtime activities DS could take part in?

I wouldn’t approach the other parents directly again.

Are the bullies getting the same consequences of missing break?

they can’t expect a sorry to forgive and forget everything and think their all going to be friends.

What is their bullying policy? Is it being followed?