Feeling anxious about my 12 month old's developmental delay

[ThatHappyEagle]

Hi, hoping to get a bit of support from people who have been through something similar as I’m feeling really anxious at the moment.

To summarise, I’ve had my concerns for a few months that my 12 month old is delayed. She babbles but doesn’t really copy. No words. Can clap and occasionally wave but no pointing. Not crawling or pulling to stand. Seems to understand some things we say, such as up, sit up, where’s dada but a lot I think she’s not understanding. When plays with toys all she’s interested in doing 90% of the time is putting them in her mouth or throwing them. Will look at us if she finds something funny but will not give me something if I ask her for it. Engages really well with nursery rhymes.

We have been very lucky that our healthcare professionals have listened to our concerns and we have been seen already by the paediatrician who said she is delayed. She said her communication skills were at 9 months and other skills were around 10 months. She thinks she has low muscle tone. When I asked could this be a learning disability or a genetic condition she said that nothing was jumping out at her and she would say if it was but that it was also too early to tell and she will review her again in 6 months. She said that she wasn’t thinking ASD at the moment as she felt her joint attention was good and she has done a microarray blood test.

Today we had the 12 month review with the health visitor who I know well now and really trust her judgement. She said that she noticed my LO was not very inquisitive. And when I mentioned that I was so worried that she’ll never be able to talk to me or never go to school she basically just nodded her head which felt to me like she was confirming that that is a very real possibility.

I don’t want to come across as insensitive as I know many parents have children with severe difficulties and we’re all just trying to give our children the best lives they can possibly have with whatever cards they’ve been dealt but I’m hoping somebody might be able to help me see the light at the end of this very long tunnel, that there is hope that she might be able live at least a normalish life or that we will all still be happy even if life might looks very difierent for her.

Thank you for taking the time to read!

At 12 months old a lot of this is normal. My first son never babbled at all and talked late. He's now advanced for his age at 6. Neither of my kids ever did the pointing thing. My first never responded to his name. Turns out he had glue ear.

Kids develop differently. Give it time.

@Pelvicpaininthebum thank you, I really hope that will be the case with mine too. I think when the health professionals who see babies at this age all the time are also noticing differences it makes it hard to not go down a rabbit hole but I know they also can’t tell me they’re sure she’ll just catch up because no one really knows.
she has been referred for a hearing screen but I think there’s a long wait for that. I do think her hearing is ok though as she seems to hear some fairly quiet noises.

It is incredibly difficult, but no-one can tell you what the future will hold. I know that is hard when all you what is certainty and answers.

It is brilliant you have already seen a paed. Has DD been referred to physio?

@inthequietofdawn we have been under physio for a few months now. We have been very lucky to have early access to specialists but I’m not sure it’s made much difference because they’re all advising we need to just wait and see how things progress :/

Although you will have to wait and see what, if any, diagnosis will be given, it is brilliant you have the early support. Half the battle is getting in front of the right specialists.

If your area has them, you could look at a referral to Portage if you haven’t already been referred. In some areas you can self refer.

Is DD in nursery?

Have you considered applying for DLA?

@inthequietofdawn yes, although it feels like a lifetime away I realise we are very lucky that she will be followed up again in 6 months by the specialist. I havent heard of portage so I’m not sure if that’s available in our area. The only thing that was mentioned was SLT but I was told 12 months is too young for referral unless there’s feeding difficulties. She’s not in any nursery and I hadn’t considered DLA as no diagnosis of a disability.

You don’t need a diagnosis for DLA. It is based on needs. You have to show DD needs care and supervision beyond what is typically expected for DC the same age. It can be more difficult for some to do this at a younger age since all young DC need a high level of care and supervision, but it is possible and something to consider. Have a look at Cerebra’s guide.