@Needlenardlenoo To what extent do you share your ideas and plans with DS?
We talk about options a lot and what he feels able to do. He usually says he "might" be able to do studies / exams "someday" but he doesn't know when, just not now. He says he likes the idea of school, but the actuality of going is too draining. He's ASD w PDA profile (although he denies the PDA), ADHD, body/gender dysphoric and has high anxiety, esp social anxiety. The gender identity issues take a massive amount of headspace and energy.
@KeepItSpinning Thanks for all the provision suggestions. We originally asked for an early AR in Dec and the earliest the school could arrange was end of Feb. But DS started attending pretty well in Jan and Feb, so we agreed to postpone it, hoping that things were going to keep improving. When he started struggling to attend again, I asked if anything earlier than June was available and they said no. I checked IPSEA and there doesn't seem to be deadline by which the LA has to respond to an early AR request. At this point, I doubt they'd bring it forward that signficantly.
You're right that DS has MindJam in his EHCP. Unfortunately, he hasn't used it. He tried a couple of different mentors and didn't feel it was working. It was only funded through the spring term, so the LA wouldn't cover it now even if he wanted to start. (We would self-fund if he wanted it.)
Re evidence, do you think we need to go back to our independent EP and ask her to do an updated assessment, if she has availability? Because DS hasn't been able to access any interventions or support, we don't have any new evidence -- other than attendance reports showing DS is not going. No one has ever discussed PfA with us.
The provision list is so helpful. But I know if I show it to DS and ask him to choose what he thinks he can do now, he'll probably say nothing. Academically, he was always a top student but anything remotely social, whether in person or live online, academic or therapeutic or fun, gets a firm no. There's an online youth support group I've been encouraging him to join (he could keep his mic and video off and just listen, and I've offered to sit with him if it helps) and even that gets a no.
He'll sometimes watch pre-recorded maths videos online and do some worksheets, but not in any regular, structured way. He also watches art videos and his drawing skills have really developed a lot in the past year. He's said that he could probably study for his GCSEs on his own and do them now/next year but just knowing that he's got a place at the SS and isn't using it creates a real barrier in his head.
We can try to guess whether he might, in 6 months or a year, be able to do more. But we just don't know. Do I just make the EOTIS proposal with the best case scenario in mind? Ie, academic classes, therapies, activities, etc? Not sure how I'll evidence any of it.
If the LA were to refuse EOTIS, could they, at the same time, take the (fully independent) SS away and leave us with nothing? There is no other appropriate setting nearby. If DS can't cope at our current school, which really understands neurodivergence and trauma, there's really no physical school where he will be able to cope. DH has suggested that maybe DS should stay at the school and we try to get them to enrol him in an online provision that they've used with some other kids, but I'm not sure the school would want that to be a permanent arrangement.