URGENT advice needed re Ds (20) please?

[siliconcover]

I posted on this board many years ago & got support. Here I am again.

Ds lives me & his sister in rural Scotland. They both now have an NHS ASD dx & a school Dyslexia dx but both largely ignored by NHS & School. It's been grim.
Lots of bullying through school & no local provision for ASD teens at all. Awful.

He started nearest Uni (1 hr by train) Oct '23. Got bad dose Covid Term 1 so home again. Not great over winter (lonely & bored I think) on/off sore chest but wouldn't see GP. Last July he went into Heart Failure (high needs for 1 week). Left with ongoing Myocarditis (waiting on 4th MRI results as we speak but seems to be almost indiscernable now). Cardiologist told him it was 'all in his head because you claim to be Autistic' (appalling!) yet kept wanting more tests.
Ds now has POTS and some PTSD from all he has been through: no local help.

He wants to go back to Uni. He still has time to go through clearing (just...)

His choices are: Uni 1 hour away (he didn't like it much, too big, room is distant)
Uni 2.5 hrs away (much smaller, lovely room close to Uni itself, 4 girls & him?)

I would like him to go try as a 3rd winter sitting at home alone is bad for his MH.
Yet I'm really worried that his physical health isn't up to it. However, it wont' improve with another year trapped here either as no facilities avail to help him whereas in Small Uni town there is good Adult ASD place nearby plus student counselling & support. He has a disabled students assesment from College. The (private) Hall room Reception say they will do an individual plan & keep a good eye on him. There is a good hospital nearby. But, I WON'T BE. So, I'm scared.
I am conscious that I will probably need to travel up weekly to start with (poss helping with washing, food organising etc) - harder with the further away Uni.

He will probably go into Clearing tomorrow, after I phone our local hospital to chase his MRI results (again). Does he choose the nearest big Uni or the futher away smaller very ASD friendly one (its won awards for this). I'd wondered about the OU but he needs friends & company his own age. What to advise?

Hang on, I thought this was the 'Goose & Carrot'. I may ask MNHQ to move it for traffic as time is short.

It depends on what else you have on, but weekly visits to either university sound doable.

If DS didn’t like university 1, that would probably be the same. It is a long time to be somewhere you don’t like.

He could go to university. Then, if necessary, request to stretch his degree if it is too much.

If DS wanted to do the OU route, he could look at other ways for social contact.

@flawlessflipper thanks for replying x
there really isn't much possibility of social contact around here.
also, our local NHS provision is woeful so he should be better off that way at Uni. I don't drive so it would be a 3 hour round trip at Uni A or a 7 hour one at B (I could go every other wkend & stay at a hostel & Ds Dad could go other wkend)