Really nervous about DS starting school

[user070792]

DS is due to start reception at a mainstream school on Monday. I'm nervous and can't stop worrying.

He has ASD and has limited vocabulary so cannot communicate his needs. The thought of him being there all day alone with people who don't really know him at all yet makes me so upset 😢 at home we manage because we can understand him and what he wants.

He's never done full days either, he only did half days at nursery last year because they believed that he would not be able to cope doing the full hours without getting upset. So this is also new for him.

Sorry I'm rambling here but just wanted advice from any other people in similar situations

Does DS have an EHCP? Have you spoken to the SENCO?

@OvertakenByLego No he doesn't have an EHCP hopefully soon though, school said an educational psychologist is coming out to see him first, don't know if that is the norm before the application is put in?

Have spoke to the SENCO, all she really said was he can build up days if need be and that he will get more 1:1 than he did in nursery but that was it.

You can request an EHCNA yourself now (IPSEA has a model letter you can use), you don’t need to wait for an EP report before doing so. If the LA agree to assess, an EP assessment will be part of the EHCNA.

Try to get clarity from the SENCO about the process. My older boy had assessment from various people prior to the needs assessment as school said it improved likelihood of success in our borough.

Both of my autistic boys got their EHCPs early on with the school leading and no issues/tribunals etc.

Try not to worry. Reception is play led and often free flow and your child may enjoy it. Mine did and he’s still in mainstream at the moment about to go into Y6 although last few years have been bumpy.

Personally, I would never recommend relying on a school or LA to advise on the EHCP process. Some schools perpetuate myths spread by LAs. Some also incorrectly state an EHCP isn’t needed or DC won’t get one, but parents go on to successful apply themselves.

@user070792 I hope his first day went ok?

Just a message in solidarity, my boy with ASD (awaiting diagnosis, EHCP process has started) is starting Reception on Monday! I have been through a complete rollercoaster of emotions of late.. one minute I’m telling people I feel ok about it (‘reception is lots of playing after all’ etc) then I spend time with one of his peers and the stark contrast between him and them slaps me in the face and I spiral with worry and sadness. But the one piece of advice that helped me was to just try to be lead by them. They haven’t fully started yet; it’s the anticipation that’s so difficult.. the state of limbo. I’m pretty sure once they’ve properly started and settled in, while it might well not be plain sailing, we will at least know what we’re dealing with - and they will be the ones to ‘lead’ us in terms of what they need. I also think they might surprise us with how they cope with these new challenges. I really hope your little one has a positive first few days x