almost 7yo wakes every night

[pinklemonade84]

Dd every night without fail wakes up (it can be anytime between 11pm and 2.30 when she wakes) and just can't seem to go back to sleep for hours on end. She's now been up since 12.30 and it doesn't look like she'll be settling anytime soon

Her bedtime routine varies on whether it's myself or her dad settling her. But, each night starts with cuddles, brushed teeth and setting up her sleep sounds that she likes to listen to. I tend to get her into bed and then check on her every 10 minutes, gradually extending each gap. Whereas dh sits in with her until she's asleep

When she wakes in the night, we'll ask her what's wrong and we generally get "I don't know". We check if she needs the toilet, but more often that not she says no. The "I don't know" response is a very common thing with her as she really struggles to verbalise things (even during the day if she becomes upset). She's an anxious little thing, detests change and has had an awful school year because her teacher had to leave due to illness and she's had several other teachers since then. We also have some other concerns, but, school are supportive and on the ball and we're in the process of sending off a referral to community paediatrics

I've been backwards and forwards to her room now since she woke and I can feel myself starting to get frustrated. I don't show it as I just pop my head round the door, if she's still awake I say that I've come to check she's OK and I'll be back soon. Dh is sleeping downstairs tonight as he starts work at 6am and it would be so easy to just let her get in with me. But, we're trying really hard to get her out of this habit and have been for about a year now, with no real improvement

I'm just wondering if anyone has any tips to help with these middle of the night wakings please? We're all so tired (especially dh who can sometimes be on a later shift at work until 11pm) and we just want to help dd

Your girl won't change unless you do. This has become a massive habit and it's all about attention
You need to get firm shes 7 for goodness sake Is she an only child by any chance !

So many judgemental and self satisfied responses on here. Your DD is clearly distressed and needs your support and you are clearly wanting to support her - she's lucky to have you on her side. I agree with the posters suggesting a mattress in your room that she can settle on by herself, or a double bed/mattress in her room so that you or DH can be with her without disturbing your sleep too much. Hopefully the comfort she feels by having you near will gradually break the cycle.

For what it's worth OP, you both soiling like lovely parents just wanting to do the nest for your child. I just think at 7 she should be ok by now, although appreciate if there are other issues at play. I just felt sorry for you that's all, doing this for 7 years already would have driven me insane. I only have a toddler who I slept trained, but the one thing I do remember about that is consistency (like any things with parenting), so maybe think of a few strategies with your DH, probably best to discuss with your daughter get her buy in and input as well. Then do those things rather than chopping and changing which will probably be less effective. All the best

How about standing over her all night fanning her and singing her lullabies

Thank you so much to the people who haven't judged and who have given sensible suggestions. I'm looking into a little airbed for her now so that we can get her a little bed set up on our bedroom floor and see if that helps

I'm going to sit down with her later too and let her choose some new yoto cards to see if they help in the evening once she's in bed

We've now moved this over to our SEN topic, as requested. Hope that helps.

Thank you 🙂

@shutthewindownow
try it yourself it doesn't cure sarcasm but it may well relax you

Have you considered asking about melatonin? Most GPs like it to be initiated by CAMHS or a paediatrician so you will most likely need to request a referral to CAMHS, paeds or a dedicated sleep clinic. It won’t be an instant fix but it’s worth setting the ball rolling.

One of the gps told me last year that dd wouldn't meet the threshold for a camhs referral. But, I will book an appointment with the gp that wrote the letter to community paediatrics when we return from a few days away for dds birthday next week (only to the in laws caravan as that's all she is happy with) and see if he will be able to help with that