My son, 8 and in year 3, is on long waiting lists with CAMHS for autism and ADHD.
He's bright, fun and interesting, but needs support with his anxiety and impulse control (hitting other children when provoked and shouting out in class being the most concerning and problematic). I really want him to stay in his current school as I think moving again (he moved into yr2 and this is his first proper year there because of lockdowns) would unsettle him, and he would think/know that it was because of his behaviour, and that would hurt him. Also, small class sizes, buckets of sport and outdoorsiness that work well for him.
A couple of people have mentioned looking into an EHCP. I don't expect this to cover school fees - we are fully prepared to do that - and I'm wondering what practical benefit an EHCP might have in a private school, and whether the school might be able to use it as an excuse to get rid of him if they decide they can't meet his stated needs. They are already talking about needing to find a new school if the hitting continues (it's roughly once or twice a term, usually in unsupervised time like in the playground and sometimes in response to someone hitting him first), and we're working hard on addressing this behaviour at the moment. If the EHCP offers any degree of protection from expulsion or access to additional resources in his current school then I'd be keen, but I don't want to give them the tool with which to lever him off their books.
We are considering private assessments, but this is very, very expensive, we're not rich, and these also have a waiting list, just not as long! Any advice/experiences welcome.