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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Original poster

parents evening with my dyslexic child i I am in tears please help

60 replies

overdraft · 18/10/2006 19:38

I tonight have had personal attacks fromds teacher and its my fault because he doesn't listen or organise himself. What have I got to do to make people understand. I feel so upset she was really rude

OP posts:
RTKangaMummy · 18/10/2006 19:48

has he got iep?

how old is he?

does she know his needs?

Who gave him DX?

TwigTwoolett · 18/10/2006 19:48

demand a meeting with teacher / head of year

write down NOW exactly what it is she said and how you perceived it .. really the quicker you write it down the less risk there is of it changing slightly

the meeting should determine an action plan to help your child prosper and learn to listen and organise himself

how old is your child?

ks · 18/10/2006 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

foulmoonfiend · 18/10/2006 19:56

oh I was just about to start an identical thread overdraft. Can we give each other a hug please?

Original poster
overdraft · 18/10/2006 20:03

He is in year 6 and is 10.Thankyou so much for talking to me.In half an hour I learnt that my son does not know what a plural is.
My son fiddles when he is under pressure.I listened to the teacher for 5 minutes and then she spoke to him.I said to him 2are you listening?". the teacher had a go at me again and said If that was my son I would have told him to listen to me before now.She continued to tell me that i do to much for my son and dyslexia is not an illness.My other son was climbing a tree the other night in the playground while ds1 was doing football practise.I was watching football and chasing my pre schooler about too and told him to come down.She said she was watching him out of the window and it is just not good enough and he shouldn't have been up there and my children just do what they want.My son forgot his lunch the other day and apparently he should have gone without to teach him a lesson.

OP posts:
Original poster
overdraft · 18/10/2006 20:04

He does not take instructions and listen because I have let him get into bad habbits

OP posts:
Original poster
overdraft · 18/10/2006 20:06

hugs to you foulmoonfiend. I feel so angry and like they don't ever understand dyslexia .It is not just about not being able to read and write as well as classmates.I am shaking still

OP posts:
ediemay · 18/10/2006 20:09

Dear overdraft, I cannot say anything helpful and have no useful experience of this but I just wanted to say that you sound like an absolutely lovely Mum and that no-one has the right to be judgmental of you. You will get great advice from experienced people here, I am sure.

foulmoonfiend · 18/10/2006 20:12

I really understand, believe me. Mine's nearly 9 and I've just been told ''dyslexia or not there's no excuse for his bad handwriting, he could do it if he tried harder'' FFS! He has auditory dyslexia. They've never heard of it.
I got the 'dyslexia not an illness line too and told that ''he's infuriating me because he will not listen and fidgets and gets distracted and refuses to knuckle down''

I also got told ''we have no money, no time and no resources to help him. I hope you get him into a good secondary school cos they get all the money and we can't offer any more support.''

Do you feel as alone as I do Overdraft?

maggiesmama · 18/10/2006 20:14

hey. big hug to you. just to say that it is an outrage that she was so incredibly rude. and i really think you should complain because she clearly doesnt understand about dysloexia.

and also to say i am pretty dyspexic too, and i mnagaed to get two degrees, an ma and a phd. so it can come good, withthe right supprt. please please dont worry about objecting to anyone who doesnt support you all in this.

x

somethingunderthebedisdrooling · 18/10/2006 20:14

with a teacher who is so unempathetic and rude i am not surprised your son doesn't know what a plural is. i am a teacher too and i'm appalled. if you wanted your mum to be overcritical at your parental skills - none of her goddamn business anyway - you surely don't have to go to a parents' night to get that.

will try to be more helpful later.

amynnixmum · 18/10/2006 20:17

Hi overdraft

I have no advice myself but kittypickle has had loads of experience with her dd. I have left a message for her to look for your thread.

Original poster
overdraft · 18/10/2006 20:18

How awful for you too. I am just angry his teacher is blaming my parenting for this.I had to fight to have him tested and in the end paid for it myself for them to help him. I have a dylexic tutor and I pay her £25 a week.They implyed that I am wasting my money. Right now i am tired of bloody fighting the fight.

OP posts:
RTKangaMummy · 18/10/2006 20:20

What a dreadful woman

My DS is Dyspraxic and year 7

his junior school weren't any good until he got an IEP

I think you should insist your DS gets one and they act on it

Original poster
overdraft · 18/10/2006 20:20

a big thank you to all of you who have posted so far it is really helping xx

OP posts:
TwigTwoolett · 18/10/2006 20:21

I personally would take a letter in tomorrow and copy in all the relevant people, detailing what you believe was said ..

have done below as a starting point as I am obviously not emotionally involved .. feel free to ignore me

Dear Head / Head of Teacher / Teacher

I am writing to request / demand a meeting following tonight's parents evening where Mrs xxx's comments about my parenting and my child's behaviour took me completely by surprise.

Obviously I appreciate that any issue with my child's behaviour must be addressed and I am hopeful that we can agree an action plan to hel phim to overcome any such issues.

Further to my meeting with Ms xxx, I understand the following:

My son fiddles when he is under pressure

It was inferred, unprofessionally in my opinion, that XXX has problems with concentrating when Ms xxx speaks

I would like to establish Ms XX's training with regards to coping with children with dyslexia as I am concerned at her response to some of DS's obvious issues.

I am slightly concerned that the relationship between ms xx and my family may have disintegrated already to a stage where we will be unable to develop an appropriate action plan. I will admit to feeling personally insulted and demeaned by some of Ms X's remarks which included comments on my ability to control my 3 children outside of her classroom and her advice that should my 10 year old forget his lunch he should be made to starve to learn a lesson.

I would very much appreciate a meeting to discuss these issues and agree an immediate action plan

Please telephone me on xxx xxxxxxxxx

Yours sincerely

...............................................

Hth

TwigTwoolett · 18/10/2006 20:22

shit .. that took ages .. sorry if thread has moved on (I like writing letters )

Original poster
overdraft · 18/10/2006 20:22

He has got one and is on the school action plus

OP posts:
Whoowhoobewhooooooh · 18/10/2006 20:23

Sorry for you overdraft.

I'd reiterate what Twiglett said about writing it all down (which you have now anyway), and then write to the Head. (Easier to write IME, as then you don't get flustered and can lay out your points clearly).

I'm a teacher. It's her job to try and understand your DS's enducational needs and do her best to help him.

Whoowhoobewhooooooh · 18/10/2006 20:23

X threads Twiglett

lemonAIIEEE · 18/10/2006 20:23

It was implied, not inferred.

foulmoonfiend · 18/10/2006 20:24

Overdraft, do you find the dyslexia Institute lessons helpful? (I mean does your son? Is it helping him?' Cos if the snswer is 'yes' and it's helpinghis confidence, then you are not wasting your money. Your teacher sounds like an ignorant, bitter old bat with no empathy.
Have another hug ...

Original poster
overdraft · 18/10/2006 20:29

twiglett thank you so much for taking the time to write that out.I am to angry to have done it

OP posts:
HumphreyComfreyCushion · 18/10/2006 20:30

overdraft, this is appalling!

You must be so upset.

I've been there re school and provision for dyslexic children - I've got two of 'em!

Twig's letter is great.

Copy it in to the head of governors too, and the LEA.

Phone your LEA and find out who the parent liaison officer is, and ask them to help. They could also be at the meeting you arrange. If not, take a relative or friend who can take notes for you.

I know this is a very upsetting time for you, but you'll have to be very strong.

The school may close ranks in support this teacher, and you will need to put everything in writing, as well as making notes of what they say.

Your son needs an IEP at least to help him access the curriculum effectively.

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 18/10/2006 20:32

Sorry, took ages to write that (in between sorting out bubble bath fight upstairs! ), and I see that your DS already has an IEP.