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SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

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Original poster

parents evening with my dyslexic child i I am in tears please help

60 replies

overdraft · 18/10/2006 19:38

I tonight have had personal attacks fromds teacher and its my fault because he doesn't listen or organise himself. What have I got to do to make people understand. I feel so upset she was really rude

OP posts:

Faith8 · 18/10/2006 20:42

HUGE HUGS TO YOU AND YOU SON. HE IS SO LUCKY TO HAVE A MUM LIKE YOU.

TwigTwoolett · 18/10/2006 20:51

Overdraft ... its only a starting point .. and I only did it because I appreciate how angry I would be in your position .. and I don't think anger does you any good when confronting your child's teachers / school

I do hope it helps

EmmyLou · 18/10/2006 20:53

I find some teachers' attitudes regarding dyslexia just stagering. Why is there still such ignorance?

DD3 had it fairly mild - managed to do Toe By Toe with her at home during yr4 and this really helped her confidence. We were lucky - there were a couple of sympathetic/understanding teachers at her primary and so we have been able to conquer a lot.

Friend of mine paying for her son to do the Dowe (sp?) training (he is dyspraxic too). Some schools SEN budgets can stretch to this. She's paying herself with money she was going to spend on getting a new kitchen.

Glassofslime · 18/10/2006 21:00

overdraft - just wanted to sympathise with you. I'm sure there's an 'issue' with my dd - last years teacher made me feel like an overprotective parent and was very dissmissive of me. This years has already told me she agrees with me. I felt very upset last year and incredible frustrated. All the others have given you great advice. Just wanted to lend my support.

MadamePlatypus · 18/10/2006 21:09

I am 35 and I forget my lunch and I don't think I 'deserve to go without' to teach myself a lesson. I think this remark is a bit of a litmus test that shows that this teacher is not altogether with it.

What on earth does saying "dyslexia is not an illness" have to do with anything?

Hugs, and hope you feel better.

Original poster

overdraft · 18/10/2006 22:00

I feel less angry with your support.Thank you all you are all so lovely

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cazzybabs · 18/10/2006 22:05

Bloody hell if I said that to any of my parents I would get hauled over the coals!!!! I have tried to tell 1 parent there son is not gifted and talented and is a little naughty and no board because he is not being stretched but I did not put it like that and I am sure when she gets home she will think about what I said and not be pleased!

OHH poor you and your ds! What about having soemthing to fiddle with in class when he is supposed to be listing. A couple of my kids last year had stress balls because they needed to fiddle, thus they could do this, be listening to me and not disturb the other children. And as for going without his lunch - my god he is only 10!

LIZS · 18/10/2006 22:09

omg I'm on your behalf. How appalling and in front of your ds too. Can you meet the SENCO and bypass the teacher. Like Twig's letter.

It may not be an illness per se but it is a recognised condition of which she sounds very ignorant. ds struggles with some of the things you mention - chews, concentration/distractibility - and suspect he has some dyspraxic traits. They need support and structure to create coping mechanisms and help them learn, not criticism.

edam · 18/10/2006 22:10

The teacher's comments were ignorant and rude so she's really not in a position to criticise anyone else's behaviour, is she? Nasty piece of work. Suspect she's too darn lazy to make any effort WRT understanding dyslexia. Do write a letter explaining how ill-mannered and obstructive she was. She has no business criticising your parenting. Who on earth does she think she is, Supernanny or something?

Original poster

overdraft · 18/10/2006 22:10

Can you belive that the senco was sitting there

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LIZS · 18/10/2006 22:11

Definitely write to the Head

Original poster

overdraft · 18/10/2006 22:13

this teacher is the deputy head

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LIZS · 18/10/2006 22:16

It gets worse . Was his previous teacher any more helpful or is this a problem of the whole school ?

swedishmum · 18/10/2006 22:16

These comments infuriate me. I too have a dyslexic ds who was not getting a fair deal at school. There is a severe lack of training about a specific learning disability that affects 1 in 10 children to some degree.

First of all these people are turning it on you because they are failing your son and they are not equipped to deal with his needs. Problems with short term memory and organisation are a well-documented issue with many dyslexic children and handwriting is often poorly dealt with, even in the DI training course I have just completed to be a specialist teacher.

We as parents are expected to fight for our children to get a half decent education. The schools too often do not provide it, either because they are under-resourced or because they have not bothered to turn up for free training sessions, for eg the Dyslexia Association free training on making schools more dyslexia friendly. V pooruptake in our area.

The school is failing from the sounds of it. Good luck.

PS - Does he use Units of Sound or another programme? (Personal interest as I hope to start tutoring dyslexic pupils soon)

Original poster

overdraft · 18/10/2006 22:19

he uses beating dyslexia, word shark and I am not sure what else

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EmmyLou · 18/10/2006 22:26

Toe by Toe (by Keda Cowling - google it if interested) was recommended to me by a friend who is head of a small primary school. Don't know if its relevant to you but involved 15 mins of work with DD1 a night.

There are so many resources out there - its just knowing where to find them and if the school are uncooperative (understatement in your case) you may have to do what you can yourself.

swedishmum · 18/10/2006 23:14

We're doing well with Toe by Toe too. It's expensive to buy but worth it. (I'm hardly marking ds's so I can use it again if necessary, but what is £27 if it helps your child to read?)

Kittypickle · 18/10/2006 23:31

OMG, I would have hit the roof, this is awful I think you need to have a meeting with the SENCO and the head to discuss this. Twiglett's letter is good as is the idea of writing everything down now whilst it is fresh in your mind. Oh, I've just read the SENCO was sitting there, it gets worse This needs to be the head and Govenors then.

Actually, I think you should contact IPSEA for advice and some support on how to handle this. You need an official apology from this teacher and the school to come up with a plan about how they are going to help him from now onwards. So sorry you have had this.

Aero · 18/10/2006 23:38

Nothing to add apart from and on your behalf. you've been treated dreadfully!

But I wanted to thank you for giving me an awareness of dyslexia. Dd (6) is struggling terribly with reading/spelling/writing/concentration/fidgeting etc and I know she's of reasonable intelligence, so your thread has given me food for thought regarding investigating if there could possibly be more to her difficulties than I've ever considered.

Original poster

overdraft · 19/10/2006 02:57

I will call them in the morning kitty thank you.I have been to bed had a nightmare and am now up shaking ,feeling sick and am still angry.I don't even want to send my son in there for another minute

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threebob · 19/10/2006 03:32

Lots of 10 years olds with no special needs have a hard time listening, remembering lunches and fiddle a lot. So I'm not sure what she thought she was acheiving by complaining about that.

A teacher who thinks that a 10 year old should do without lunch has no compassion whatsoever, furthermore it's none of her business if you bring his lunch in for him.

A mother at school today (in my preschool class) had her son (around 8) come in and tell her he had forgotten his lunch. he was almost in tears, and yet she told him not to worry and went home for it in a very matter of fact, these things happen kind of way. Imagine if she had said no - the poor boy would have got into a massive state and wouldn't have learnt anything for the whole day.

I think that you need to keep apart stuff that is just being a normal 10 year old and the dyslexia when you meet with the school. Do you think he doesn't listen and that he fidgets etc. If it doesn't bother you - then it could be that she is super sensitive.

Original poster

overdraft · 19/10/2006 03:49

She is a teacher that brags about how many children she gets into Grammer school every year.She has been teaching for 30 years she infromed me tonight

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threebob · 19/10/2006 07:10

Well it's a shame she didn't learn some manners along the way isn't it?

Maybe she has some learning difficulties of her own. A lack of empathy and a complete inability to see that she is being rude must be indicators of something.

That would horrify her!

ks · 19/10/2006 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

swedishmum · 19/10/2006 09:35

A couple of resources she may need to see are DFES "Learning and teaching for dyslexic children", and Chris Neanon's "How to Identify and Support Children with Dyslexia" (LDA). It has a chapter on working in partnership with parents....

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