Advice re 4 year old

[Batbear]

Hi

My 4 year old DS is currently in school nursery and due to start reception in September.

He's a lovely, happy boy, but does have some issues around needing a routine, being upset at changes, very rigid around meals, missing some social cues etc.

I met the teacher yesterday about his problems with changes to routine (inconsolable crying because we forgot his wellies and he had to borrow a pair) and how we tackle it and after a few comments from teacher relatives I wonder if I need to look at this further. (I wonder if my head is in the sand).

What would you advise? Should I visit my GP/talk more to the school?
How can I make life better for him?

What comments did the teacher make ? If it is interfering with him joining in, his ability to learn and disrupting the activities then yes see your gp in the first instance. It may be something , it may be nothing.

The teacher mentioned that he sometimes won't play and will be blow raspberries to other children.

He cried and was inconsolable about wearing the wrong boots, but also about not having the routine he is used to. Negotiating makes it worse.

He won't try new foods easily and even thing he'll like (e.g. Hot chocolate won't be tasted because they are "too hot") - like the name put him off.
He's a bit full on with other new children - maybe a bit too over friendly.
I don't know if it's just being 4.

My son is all of these things apart from being full on with other kids. I haven't got any worries - I think being inconsolable about silly things one minute and fine the next was is normal little person behaviour.

The problem with having teacher relatives in the family is that they get together and almost have a case conference about things behind our back.

It's like being watched all the time. They compare him to other ASD cousins and have decided he is the same (the cousin I know is nothing like him IMO).

I'm starting to doubt myself which is really horrible.

:( Must be hard. I have no experience but I do try my best not to compare. If you've not had any other worries about him then I would say not to worry too much.

oh and BTW my son has a friend who is very full on with all his nursery mates and he's normal too imo.

Maybe the Routine thing is important to him because it's what he's used to but he will get more used to changes, or perhaps it is worth talking more to the school about helping him through it?

Thanks Dueling.

He's such a lovely little man and really confident (and a bit strong willed like his mother). I don't want to start worrying unnecessarily - surely the signs and symptoms are pretty common in lots of children?

I am at major risk of telling the family to back off which might not be good for relations!