help i cant find a routine that gets my 18month old to sleep by a decent time

[mummyof2girls]

i am having a nightmare with my 18 month old. i wake her up at 8.00am, try to put her down for a nap an 12.30 but she does not fall asleep until 1'ish. i wake her up at 2.00pm - she is misrable because i woke her up. then put her in her cot at 8.00 but does not fall asleep till 9.00pm. I have tried to make her stay up all day but she always falls asleep at 4.00pm for half an hour which means she is awake until very late. please someone help me.

My instinct says your baby is overtired. There are two good books, Richard Ferber - can't remember the title and Marc Weissbluth "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child". You should find both at the library. They are both very good at explaining the why's as much as the how's. An 18 month old should be sleeping for probably about 13 or 14 hours a night, and then 2 or more hours during the day. "Sleep begets sleep" ie the better rested a child is the better they will sleep. Do try and get hold of at least one of these books. Try getting her down by 6.30, and you will probably find that the rest falls into place naturally.

Well, some kids don't need quite as much as 13 hours a night. My ds has never slept that long, ever, and he's 2 and a half! He gets about 9 hours a night plus about a 2-hour nap mid-day. This suits us as he's in nursery for the whole day and we get up early to commute together. When I'm finished work (soon) I'll work on cutting his nap shorter and putting him to bed earlier.
But to get back to your problem. I think you should let your dd sleep longer at lunchtime, then she'd stay up until at least 7, and try to put her down shortly after that. Bedtime snacks are good too about half an hour beforehand, toast or banana or something filling.

Yes, I'd agree trying a longer pm nap and see if it helps. I've been having a wee nightmare with ds who's just turned 19 months too - just wouldn't go down - we shortened his nap to an hour but it was so painful to wake him up - he seems to do a lot better on 90 minutes? or even just let her sleep as long as she sleeps in the afternoon and see what happens? ds had a tumble the other day so I just let him sleep in the pm and his nap was 3 hours... if necessary I walk ds round the block in the pushchair to get him off for his pm nap... it may fall into place on its own in a week or two but it's so awful while it's happening and you're not getting an evening. best wishes.

Just wanted to add my experience here... My ds is only 13m but I find his night sleep is almost unaffected by how much or little day sleep he has. He seems to be ready to go to sleep at bedtime regardless... and I think it's all down to the evening routine. Essentially I take him to the bedroom (with or without a bath first), undress, moisturise, dress for bed. Then let him read some books, sometimes read to him if he will let me turn the pages slow enough. Then he has milk on my lap, all cuddled up like a little baba, usually fiddling with my hair. After the milk I cuddle him & turn out the light. Then he basically pushes me away and is desperate to be in bed. I think he just knows after all those steps & the milk helps him feel sleepy too.

Good luck!

Hi, sounds like it might over tiredness - is there any reason for waking her in the morning and afternoon ? My 19 mth dd is a nightmare if her sleep pattern is disturbed. This works really well for us though!
5.45 bath
6.10 quiet time in rocking chair in front of Baby Einstein DVD
6.30 milk
6.40 bed
7-7.30 sleep
6.30-7am wake
12.30 nap
2.00ish wake

Good Luck !

Our routine for 15 mo DD is:

Up between 6 and 7 (hopefully nearer 7 and often ignored/left to play in her cot if early).
Nap about 12 for 1.5 to 2 hours (2 hours = better mood)
Bath with DS at 7 followed by milk, teeth, stories and song.
In bed for 7.30 pm.

So she is really sleeping as long at night as my DD - 11 hours. Would agree with not waking her from her nap and see what happens.

thank you all who offered there advice about my dds sleep problem. i noticed that most of you said you child was up by 7.00am which would probably help my situation as she will go down for her nap earlier. going to try it so fingers crossed.