24 week old screams every time its time to go to sleep

[Corky]

My ds just will not go in his cot quietly. The minute he's put down he screams - he then gets himself into a state screaming hysterically, gets full of wind and I end up going in to him and winding him. He just goes on and on and I've left him 40 mins once before and he doesn't calm down.

Generally in a day he seems to stay awake 2 hours then need a sleep, but this can sometimes only be for 40mins so by the end of the day he's often overtired. Also his routine is very up in the air as I have a dd who has to go to nursery and other activities.

I thought he'd got better at sleeping once he found his thumb, but even this isn't working now.

The problem I'm also finding is that come 5/5:30pm he often needs a nap as he's been awake since 3:30pm, but he just won't go down and staying awake until 6;30pm just makes him even worse and he then doesn't want any milk before bed.

Anyone got some helpful words of advice or reassurance!!

Ds was a monkey when he was little. In the end I got into a strict routine to sort him out!

He would have two naps a day and we had a nighttime routine of bath, wind down, massage and big bottle in subdued lighting. At first it might not work but he will get used to it.

I followed the baby whispers methods. I would stay in with him until he was asleep and if he got distressed would stroke him - but didnt pick him up, just soothed him. In the end I moved a comfy chair in his room so at least I was comfty!

here is a link about sleep for babies \link{http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/pdfs/toddler_sleep.pdf#search='sleep%20for%20babies'}

On a plus - ds is 3 now and sleeps well - so it gets easier - I promise!!

link again!!! about sleep

Corky, My DS is 21 weeks old and he too used to really kick off whenever I put him in his cot to sleep. I read something (can't remember where) that we have all become obsessed about putting babies down awake and that mummies should spend more time soothing them. I took this on board and started to rock him to sleep within two hours of him being awake from the previous sleep in his room whether he looked tired or not. When his eyes were almost closing, I would lay him down and then stroke his face gently until he went to sleep. I too put a comfy chair next to his cot.

When he started settling well like this, I started laying him down when he was very calm and still but not closing his eyes and again stroking his face until he went to sleep. Afetr that, I stopped the face stroking and left him to go to sleep but stayed in the room so I could soothe if necessary.

It's all taken some time and I've also put a strict routine in place whereby he naps at 9.00am in his cot, 12.30pm(ish) in his cot and 4.30pmish by going for a walk in the buggy if possible.

My DS is now a wonderful sleeper who goes down in his cot (for naps and at bedtime), closes his eyes and sleeps. His naps have also become longer and he is doing better at night.

I read every book going and two I found useful were Marc Weissbluth Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and Elizabeth Pantley No Cry Sleep Solutions.

Sorry if this is long and rambling but I wanted to reassure you that with effort and perseverance, you will get there and 'going to sleep time' will become lovely for you both. Lots of luck Corky.

Hi there, thanks for this advice. I wish I could sit with him and gently rock him off to sleep, but I have a 3 year old running around the house so I simply don't have the time, and he seems to start screaming the minute he hits the cot, and there's no way that stroking his head is going to calm him down!
Tonight I tried putting him down at 5:15 for a quick nap as he'd been awake since 3:15pm and he then cried for around 40mins as I had to feed my dd. When I went upstairs I found that he'd vomited everywhere. He then cried through the bath and whilst I was getting my dd dressed after the bath. He eventually went down at 7:15pm nearly 2 hours after he started screaming.
I find it so draining dealing with both the children and I'm sure that its overtiredness that is upsetting him as he doesn't sleep long enough during the day!

Corky, I'm so very sorry that you're having such a rough time of it with your little one . I too have an older DD but she is 7 so more able to understand that mummy sometimes had to take time out to get the baby to sleep. I was also able to use the time she was at school to work on this.

I have been looking through the Sleep threads this morning to see if there was any advice there that might help you. One you may want to look at is called 'nap training ..... does it work' (or something like that. There is loads of stuff there as it is all aabout babies who scream when put down to sleep. Maybe you could have a look there to see if anything might help. It also points to other threads and if nothing else, it might make you feel better just knowing how many other people have babies who just don't seem to want to go to sleep even though they need to.

Sorry I couldn't help more but hopefully pointing you in the direction of people with the same issue will bring reassurance and you never know, they just might have the magic answer!

Good luck

The other thread you might get some ideas from is 'overtiredness, or am I missing something'

Thanks Buzywizzy
I did have a read but its impossible to try and dedicate the time as I have to take my dd to nursery and other activities and also have a life so needless to say he just has to fit in! Today he has done his religious 40min napping after screaming hysterically every time I put him down.

The thing is he was a bad sleeper during the day from around 12 weeks (slept through from around 11 weeks). Then I resorted to the dummy during the day and this sort of worked. Then he found his thumb and hurrah everything seemed great for a while. This screaming has literally started in the last week and during the day he seems fine so I don't think he's ill as he's eating normally as well. Do you think its a separation thing as well as overtiredness? When I put him down say in his gym he will often start screaming as well! I think the only thing that will work is to let him scream it out, but then I've got my dd to think about during her nap and nighttime! and the other day he vomited!

Its

Hadn't thought about separation anxiety but it could be that if it's only just started recently. Maybe he's teething and needs his mum a bit more at the moment (I know my DS is absolutely unbearable wen his teeth are moving around).

Having read all the threads about crying when put down and separation anxiety, the consensus seems to be there is not a lot you can do, try and cuddle him as much as you can (have you tried a sling to keep him close to you), feed him to sleep if you are BF'ing, forget routines but mostly, just stick with it as HE WILL eventually grow out of it. Not much help but hopefully reassuring that lots and lots of people added to the threads I was reading saying they had the same 'problem'.

Hope it gets better soon.

I found quite a good website today that I thought might be of interest to you as there is a section on separation anxiety. It says this can start at 6 months of age so a possibility for you.

www.kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/separation_anxiety

My 4 month old used to hate going in his cot so i resorted to letting him sleep on the sofa as he was happy knowing i was near by, but after a while i found this a real tie and although it meant he slept well it also meant that i was stuck in the front room making sure he didn't roll off the sofa! In the end i starting putting him in his cot during the day when he was wide awake and happy, this got him used to his cot and made him realise that its not a bad place to be, i'd put toys in there for him to play with now etc. Now when its bedtime he feels safe in there as his cot is a positive place for him.

Also its worth keeping an eye out for over tiredness signs, mine gets red watery eyes, starts chewing his hands and his legs move up and down really fast!

Good luck with it all.

Corky,
My ds is about the same age as your ds, I find that my ds will stay awake for 2 hrs then have a sleep for maybe half an hour, then wake and have a bottle shortly after. He has started to drop his first nap of the day.
I wake him about 8am if he's not woken before then (because I need to leave for work) he has his breakfast and first bottle between 8 and 9am depending on who looks after him, then he has a bottle every 3 hrs or so after that. Dinner with his 4th bottle and I aim for his last bottle about 8.30pm. He has found his own natural bedtime and gets tired about 8.45 so he is bathed straight after his last bottle then goes down to sleep. I admit I do have to cuddle him until he starts to drop off, but then I pop him down where he rolls over to his side and sucks his thumb snuggled up to his raggy (muslin).
He does cry when he's tired if I've not noticed his signs. I find that as my ds is teething (he has 2 ) putting gel on his gums helps to settle him, perhaps it might work for your ds.
HTH a bit for you. let me know.