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Original poster

controled crying or pick-up put down?

54 replies

Lilliput · 28/07/2005 20:33

Which one? My ds is nearly 6 months old and mummy needs to get tough to get some sleep. Which technique and any tips or help greatly appreciated

OP posts:
SenoraPostrophe · 28/07/2005 20:37

It's up to you really.

I tried PUPD and it didn't work (tried it for hours) but the theory is that it's kinder for baby because you are there. Ds didn't seem to think so but I think other babies do.

Controlled crying didn't really work either until I just left him to it (I sound really hard, but this was after 3 months of different things). He sleeps now though!

wordsmith · 28/07/2005 21:01

Controlled crying worked for me with DS1, but you do have to let them get on with it for a good while, as Senora said.

However with no 2 when he cries, I go in, pick him up, give him a quick cuddle (30 secs max), put him down again and he goes back to sleep. That never worked with no 1, but the little'un seems to have no problems with me leaving him as long as he's had his quick fix.

Both are pretty good sleepers. I just think it depends on the child. I would try cc first, if it's a longstanding problem, sounds like he needs to be educated into learning how to get to sleep on his own.

Original poster
Lilliput · 28/07/2005 21:05

He does need to learn to get to sleep on his own, I am bfeeding him 3 times a night and most of the time I pretty sure it's just because he's woken up and doesn't know how to get back to sleep. He's quite needy and likes to be lugged about by me all day, whinges and cries if put down. Will cc or pupd work with him?

OP posts:
wordsmith · 28/07/2005 21:08

I'd say controlled crying. You need to be strong though and resist the temptation to go in to him!

Original poster
Lilliput · 28/07/2005 21:13

I let him cry for 10 minutes tonight and eventually gave in a gave him his dummy and thought how the hell and I going to get through sleep training.

OP posts:
honeybunny · 28/07/2005 21:15

Make sure he's getting enough milk daytime, and dont overdo the afternoon kip, so he's nice and tired and full up for bedtime. After that final feed, make sure he's awake so that he's settling himself to sleep. I think I'd pick up and cuddle if he wakes as he's used to being fed, but no boob. If he frets put him down and leave. All very well me saying this, dd is waking 45mins after put down at 7pm and the easiest thing is to bring her downstairs for 10-20mins for a cuddle and then she's happy to go back to sleep in her cot.

Original poster
Lilliput · 28/07/2005 21:15

What do you di in the middle of the night with cc? Is that a silly question?

OP posts:
Micku5 · 28/07/2005 21:17

I had to do the controlled crying when my dd was 6 months because I was going back to work. The first night she cried for 25 minutes, then the second for about 10 minutes and the third night she slept thru. It was very hard for us especially as she was still in our room in her crib.

wordsmith · 28/07/2005 21:17

Exactly the same as when he goes to bed. Start at, say, 5 mins, then go to 10, then 15 etc. You may have to have 2 or 3 bad nights but it doesn't take much longer than that, honest! Good luck.

Original poster
Lilliput · 28/07/2005 21:19

And did you just leave her to cry in the middle of the night as well as bedtime Micku5

OP posts:
Micku5 · 28/07/2005 21:20

oh btw it was 25 mins stop, start, stop, start crying. I couldn't have handled it if it was continous I would have been in tears myself.

hermykne · 28/07/2005 21:22

for me c/c worked with dd but with
ds nearly 1, it didnt so we did pupd and it still lulls him the sshhhing thing , when he gets put down for naps or night time

i think you will know with the child how they react
pupd is easier but it does involve alot more contact with the baby,

for in the night with c/c, its the same as the evening - and it will be atrocious, as u are so tired, husband too and baby distressed and u might succumb, but it will work

how many hrs daytime sleep does he have and when does he wake from his last day nap?

Micku5 · 28/07/2005 21:23

yes i had too but as i said she would start crying, then settle, then start again after two minutes and carry on. my dh had to sleep in the spare room because he couldn't take it and got upset.

Original poster
Lilliput · 28/07/2005 21:31

He sleeps for about half an hour sometime between 9 and 10 in the morning, a longer nap around lunchtime but generally I have to be out and about for this to happen and then another half hour late afternoon about 4.30. Last breastfeed is at about 7.30 and generally in bed at 8.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilliput · 28/07/2005 21:32

Last night he woke at 10, 1.30, 4.30 and 6.30

OP posts:
Micku5 · 28/07/2005 21:35

Jadyn used to wake up roughly four times a night... which was fine when i wasn't working but with having to get up at 5.30 and be in the City by 7.00am there was no way I could have survived on broken sleep.

Original poster
Lilliput · 28/07/2005 21:39

I have a 2 year old dd aswell and have been quite horrid to her because of my sleep deprivation

OP posts:
Micku5 · 28/07/2005 21:43

Well Jadyn is now 2 years old and she sleeps thru the night but she does wake up quite early usually between 6-7am. I only work p/t now so on the days she's at home with me I try to get a cap nat when she's asleep as well but I don't imagine that's easy with two children.

Irisheyes648 · 28/07/2005 21:47

Controlled crying for sure, tryed pupd just didn't work if anything it my DS worse, just have to leave them to get on with it they soon learn.

Original poster
Lilliput · 28/07/2005 21:57

Part of me feels I have to do cc as it's harsher because he wants to be picked up so much during the day, IYKWIM

OP posts:
nannyjo · 28/07/2005 22:00

pick up put down worked fantastic for me two nights of hell but it worked.

I thought it was easier for me emotionally.

jolly4 · 29/07/2005 00:08

liliput i feel for u they do want the boob and when they wake we do this too settle them quicker my dd is 5 1/2 months an bf i am too having simalar probs x

Chandra · 29/07/2005 00:12

PUPD didn't work for me in the first year (it unsettled DS even more) while CC did, but PUPD worked better than controlled crying at some point during the second year. I think is a matter of trying out which method works better for your baby and YOU at this specific time.

lovinit · 29/07/2005 08:46

what advice would you give for a 5.5 week old ? DD2 definitely needs to learn to settle by herself ...

Melpomene · 29/07/2005 10:23

Neither of them worked for us. We had weeks of HELL doing cc when dd1 was 6 months old. She continued waking in the middle of the night and crying for up to 2 hours each time which was a nightmare for her, me, dh and our poor neighbours. The HV told us that it never failed and we were desperate so persisted for ages, but after 3 weeks or so realised that it just wasn't working. I sorely regret trying cc. I think it made dd more insecure and clingy as it gave her the message that we didn't care enough to cuddle her or sit with her when she was distressed.

Also tried PUPD, which didn't work because she just got more and more hysterical and after a few minutes she was crying loudly non-stop regardless of whether I was holding her or not.

There are no magic solutions, but some useful tips in a book called the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.