controled crying or pick-up put down?

[Lilliput]

Which one? My ds is nearly 6 months old and mummy needs to get tough to get some sleep. Which technique and any tips or help greatly appreciated

It's the suggestion that cc leads to the child learning not to cry because nobody comes and then "They remain in a stressed state and grow up without the skills to self soothe in general".
I did controlled crying with all my 4 (well actually dh did it ) all at around 9 months-ish although I'm sure it could have been done earlier. It worked within about 4 days for all of them - ie going from waking up 3 or more times a night to not waking up at all - and did not / has not made any difference to their behaviour during the day.
Obviously if the child gets no attention at all that's a different matter but to suggest that cc has serious consequences for their emotional development is hogwash imo.

9 months-ish sounds fine Robina. But like Seona suggested you don't generally get a recommendation to try CC before 6 months and for precisely the reasons she gave about object permanence. Babies begin with very 'basic' nervous systems and they learn to be social by their parents and surroundings and their interaction with them. The innate terror of abandonment is very strong in young infants as they rely on their carers to literally keep them alive. This is an instinct, not a temperament. The cannot think consciously 'Oh, mum's just gone out but will be back to feed me later'. They have no language or reasoning skills of any kind and cannot imagine a time in the future when a parent will return. They are permanently stuck in the present.

hmmm. what have i started here
i think i will leave it a bit longer to do cc... imo i don't think it is a cruel thing to do, tried pupd... she just became so hysterical she just found it more distressing.
am starting work in 2 weeks... i might just see how i go... but i think if things dont improve then i may have to give it a go.
i think she is hungry sometimes because she does not take full bottles during the day... she much prefers mummy food! am hoping that the people at nurery might be able to get her to take more from bottles... hopefully this might have knock on effect of her sleeping better.
-wish me luck guys!

Good luck. I'm in the middle of it too.