Having another dc when ds is still a rubbish sleeper

[mrsflux]

Just wondered if it gets easier as they get older or dc need to be reasonable sleepers before you can cope with having another one.
Ds is 11mo and although he's slowly getting better he is a pretty rubbish sleeper. I get minimal help from dh as he sleeps so soundly or us just so painfully slow getting out of bed I do it.
We've started thinking about dc2. Dh wants to start now, I'm not sure simply because I can't imagine how I'd cope ATM if I was bf a newborn aswell. Obviously dc2 would be AT LEAST 9 months away and ds will have grown up a lot in that time but still...

What do you think?
What are your experiences?

I found out I was pregnant again when my daughter was only 8 months old

By the time my son was born, she was 17 months and was sleeping great most of the time. My hubby never woke either.

I think you should do it when you feel comfortable and capable of coping with 2 children.

How do you know if you can cope though?

I know I can manage ds fine- although 2 weeks on my own while dh is in states for work might be a bit too much. Maybe that'll be my test- if I can do that then 2dc with dh around will be ok???

In my opinion theres no point waiting. My friend had a wee boy who slept 14 hours at night and 3 hours in the day from very very young until about 2. Then from 2 - 3 he is a nightmare - lucky if he sleeps 8 out of 24 hours! Ds never slept when little but now at 3 he is pretty good. You never know what'll happen.

We did wait, and I'm glad. Have a 3 year gap. DS was still a rubbish sleeper when DD was born, but DH took over all nightime duties with him - essentially growling 'go back to bed, DS', and bedding down on the spare mattress on his floor. I dealt with newborn DD.

We really, really would have struggled with DS sleeping as he did at 2 or 2 and a half years old. But then he is a very rubbish sleeper - wasn't even reliably sleeping through the evening at 2, never mind through the night. We were up 7-8 times every night with him. You may not have to cope with quite that level of disruption!

I got pregnant with dd2 when dd1 was only 10mths,she was a nigtmare sleeper so don't quite know what we were thinking [it was planned],she didn't sleep through till she was one but dd2 slept through from day one! So you never know you might be lucky too and if not you can get all the sleepless nights out of the way in one go! Good luck

You just do cope though because you have to,it might be a bit hellish at the time, but you do just get on with it.

DS was a dreadful sleeper up until he was 18 months old and from then on slept like a log.

I realy wouldn't let your decision whether to have mor ekids be based on your DS's sleep pattern at the moment as 9 months is a long long time and things will change so much in that time.

I don't know the answer to your question Mrs Flux but I'm 37wks with DD2 and DD1 still does not sleep through at 2.11 - (the total number of times she has done since birth are not very many). I just figured that if I waited I would never have DC2. But I have to admit I'm pretty terrified and after a bad night with DD1 I do question WTF I'm doing about to have DD2. In theory my DH is going to take charge of DD1 on arrival of DD2 but so far his preliminary attempts at this have not worked at all as it would take a nuclear explosion to wake him (or he's a good faker - not sure which). But all babies are different and No2 might be an amazing sleeper - so my advice would be just go for it because however awful it is it is only temporary and you'll get the painful years out of the way quicker.

my first child was 6 1/2 months old when I got pregnant with my 2nd child and up until about 3 months before my 2nd son was born my 1st child was still not a good sleeper. We made a conscious effort to try and get him into a better sleeping pattern before baby number 2 arrived, we had to do some controlled crying but it worked and he stared sleeping through the night every night (unfortunately son no 2 is not so keen to sleep through for me.) If you want another baby then my advice is to go for it, you can try and get your 1st little one into better sleeping habits and as you say you will have 9 months before the baby is born to work on this. :-)

my ds1 is 14 months older than his brother and both are trying at night - when i was pg the older one used to scream a lot and often, this moved to waking briefly to let us know he was awake, getting us up and going back to sleep till about 5 ish when he'd come into my bed.

The baby, well sadly he rarely sleeps more than 2 hours at a time. i think what works for me is i haven't had a good nights sleep since about March 2008 and therefore have no idea what a good night is . though i do still yearn for a lie in.......

hmmmm lots of food for thought.

was talking to a friend today who is due in about 8 weeks and her ds1 is a year old now. she looks pooped but happy!

i guess at the end of the day if i was unexpectedly pg i'd be surprised but happy (actually bloody shocked but that's another story). i'd have to manage in that case!

9 months is a long time isn't it

Maybe if it is DH wanting to start now, that is ammo to get him to get up for DS sometimes?

yeah might try that.

we do have 9 months to prepare ds and sleep train him to bits!
will have to wait till ds gets over his d and v. nothing guaranteed to kill any moment more than a whiff of vomit!

I had dd when ds was very nearly 3 and had been merrily sleeping through the night since 7 months.

Within a month of dd being born he was up all through the night. On one memorable occasion I got up to him at 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6am before he woke at 7. Not including getting up for dd...

So I guess what I'm saying is you might as well go for it - who knows what his sleep will be like when dc2 actually arrives!