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Original poster

Dummy or thumb?

52 replies

heylottie · 13/12/2009 17:53

Apols if this is a well trodden path...! And I hope it is in the right forum... perhaps it should be in the Feeding section??

My 8 week old dd is, what I would call, a 'sucky' baby. She feeds well and fast, but i do think she (and I!) might benefit from a dummy as she likes to comfort suck - and I think it will help settle her better at night rather than using my nipple, when i know she is sleeping and sucking as opposed to feeding.

As an ex thumb sucker myself I would prefer her to suck her thumb - I know that you can't take the thumb away. am I mad?

At what age do they 'find' their thumbs? At the mo she us sucking her fist - can I use a dummy now and a thumb later? I know a dummy/thumb won't work miracles but would like to try.

This question always bugs me at 3am...!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Picante · 13/12/2009 17:56

I love dummies!

And their usage is recommended on the FSIDS (cot death) website.

I don't know how people manage without them!

RustyBear · 13/12/2009 18:00

According to my midwife, DD was born sucking her thumb, which possibly explains why she is still doing it at almost 20. She did stop for a while when the scary orthodontist told her to, but that didn't last long.

At least with a dummy you can be fairly sure she won't still be sucking it when she's at university....

MadameCastafiore · 13/12/2009 18:01

Yes you are mad - a dentist will tell you that you cannot pull your teeth forward with a dummy but most children excert some pressure when sucking their thumb and so pull their teeth forward.

All 8 week olds are sucky - it is one of the only things that they can do, try a dummy, if it helps that is a good thing but I would soooo not ever want my kids to suck their thumbs - vile vile habit that you are right cannot take away!

ThumbleBells · 13/12/2009 18:02

thumb here - I worked on the principle that he can't lose his thumb and I had seen the almighty tantrums that my nieces had when theirs went missing. I can't remember when he "found" his thumb, he was a fist-sucker too - but it was an easy enough transition for him. And he never cried or woke up when his thumb came out after he'd fallen asleep.

As an ex-thumbsucker myself, I was also of the opinion that it didn't affect my jaws/teeth so would probably be ok; but that has backfired a touch because DS sucks his thumb differently to how I did, and now one of his top front teeth is a bit skewed. However, his bottom front teeth are very skewed, they came through like that and it is a DH's family trait so maybe not entirely due to thumbsucking!

I don't subscribe personally to any of the "dummies are great for palate-forming" stuff, because what the hell did we do before dummies were invented? All go around with badly formed palates? I don't think so.

Ivykaty44 · 13/12/2009 18:02

I love dummies aswell - in the right place at the right time they are a wonderful invention.

ThumbleBells · 13/12/2009 18:04

BTW - I stopped sucking my thumb when I was 7. No need for it after that.

Snowtiger · 13/12/2009 18:04

I'm a thumb fan personally. DS was a nightmare to settle when he was little and not terribly keen on dummies - he'd suck one if you put it in his mouth but obviously they come out and get lost. So from about 4 months I would unpeel his little fists and put his thumb in his mouth - didn't stay there for long but eventually, when he was about 7 months old he finally got the hang of it and discovered that he could put his thumb in his mouth whenever he wanted and suck it for comfort. And life changed forever and for the better!!

From that moment on, I knew when he was tired, because the thumb would go in, and he was able to settle himself to sleep quite happily. It was such a result I could have cried with relief - utterly brilliant. He can't lose his thumb in the night so he can soothe himself back to sleep any time he wants. He's now 2.4 and sucks his thumb when tired / to help himself get to sleep.

Occasionally I worry about him growing up with big buck teeth but I'm sure he won't still be sucking his thumb when he's 15 or anything...!

Snowtiger · 13/12/2009 18:07

Dammit rustybear just seen your post. Maybe I should be worried about DS sucking his thumb at 15...?

RustyBear · 13/12/2009 18:16

He'll probably stop when he starts thinking about girlfriends!

Unfortunately, so far all of DD's boyfriends have thought it's 'cute'.....

SansSheriff · 13/12/2009 18:27

DS1 had a dummy. He woke 10+ times a night til we took the dummy away at 9mo.

DS2 sucks his thumb (was sucking it in both his antenatal scans). Has self-settled basically from birth and slept through (mostly, barring illness) since 4mo.

I know which I'd always choose!

LoveTheCarbs · 13/12/2009 21:57

I would choose thumb. At least I wouldn't have to get up several times a night to put the dummy back in. I know a couple of mums who do this and they say that they wish they had never started with the dummy.

DS was also a sucky baby so we used a dummy sporadically to soothe him but not routinely. Now at 7 and a half months he seems to have forgotten about his thumb, is not really interested in a dummy and self-settles well.

My sister who is a dentist says dummy. But she doesn't have any children yet, so what does she know?!

ellokitty · 14/12/2009 01:04

Dummy. They do less damage to the teeth and can be taken away before they do any damage.

My friend's hubby is a professor of dentistry - and he agrees that thumbs do far more damage than orthodontic dummies. Not only that, but the damage caused by a thumb is more likely to be worse, affect the adult teeth and be harder to rectify.

On that basis, I wouldn't want to take the risk or responsibility of my child damaging his / her teeth by letting them use a thumb when there is a safer alternative.

Health over aesthetics every time for me.

Maleeka · 14/12/2009 01:28

My first daughter had a dummy, her sister preferred to suck her 2 middle fingers (and put one up her nose which was delightful), and my son sucks his thumb.

I do agree with the notion that its easier without a dummy, because i lost count of the times my daughter woke because she had lost her dummy! Although getting some glow in the dark ones was a godsend

confuddledDOTcom · 14/12/2009 01:34

Thumb.

Both mine do and not that much really - the youngest likes the big toe as well...

If you read the SIDS study properly dummies increase the risk of SIDS and the risk is lowered to normal (a none dummy sucking baby) if the dummy is kept in all night, if a dummy sucking baby doesn't have it in all night they are at higher risk of SIDS. Talk about spin, FSIDS!

Dummies are artificial nipples and can interfere with your supply - comfort sucking is as important to supply and regulation as nutritive sucking - it's been proven to shorten the duration of the nursing relationship and of course it all means you get period (therefore fertility) back quicker!

About the damage done, it's been proven that sucking artificial teats affects the way the roof of the mouth forms - a study found that the arch isn't as high. I don't know what this means for children, but anything that's not the norm in their development can't be good.

juneybean · 14/12/2009 01:41

I know someone who still does it at 29 lol

ThumbleBells · 14/12/2009 02:24

my sis still does it now occasionally - she's 38.

HappyBump · 14/12/2009 03:57

I was completely anti-dummies (1. worried about milk supply, 2. losing dummy dilemma/hassle, 3. no-one in my family had ever used one for their child) ... until my DS was screaming his head off in the early evenings and one of the reasons might have been he was unable to satisfy his sucking instinct (my nipples were bloody and raw and needed a break some time).

However, when we tried to give him a variety of dummies out of desperation and he would not take any of them. At about 8-12 weeks he "found" his thumb and it was such a relief. Both DH and I were confirmed thumb-suckers as children so neither of us worried. The weird thing was when he reached 8 months he suddenly stopped sucking his thumb and has never gone back to it.

peacocks · 14/12/2009 04:09

dummy -- no question! (ignore the looks

oliviasmama · 14/12/2009 04:28

dummy fan here too....just make sure you've got lots and lots

LoveTheCarbs · 14/12/2009 08:20

And I should add, my sister, brother and I were all thumb suckers. Only I needed one of those removable orthodontic braces. All of us were able to stop sucking our thumbs whilst quite young, although my sister needed more encouragement!

dycey · 14/12/2009 10:51

I found the dummy a nightmare (only introduced it at 9 weeks and it woke him up from 10 weeks and it disturbed DS's sleep so much that I got rid of it at 5 months).. Still have night feedings stemming from the dummy wakings at 10 months, well that's my theory. Of course it could just be how things turned out. He was a great sleeper til I gave a dummy (was replacing my hour long bedtime sucking sessions on the breast). But I think we were very unlucky. Others I know have only found dummies a help.

I would not use one again. But I think ours is an extreme situation!

PrincessTweetz · 15/12/2009 09:38

Dummy without a doubt!! I was a thumbsucker, and the only reason I stopped was due to the style of the last brace I wore which was designed to reallign my bottom jaw and made it impossible for me to put anything in my mouth. I am 26 (27 tomorrow!!), and 2 of my school friends still suck their thumbs today.
Unless your child finds his/her own thumb, I would never encourage thumb sucking...it was my older sister thet encouraged me to find mine as a baby with the same reasons mentioned above....you can't lose a thumb so there's less chance of you having to settle your child at night...but you can't take a thumb away at an appropriate age either, so chances are the thumb won't be just used as a 'sleep tool', it can become a reliable comfort throughout any time of day, throughout any age too.

Wilts · 15/12/2009 09:47

Dummy all the way here. I have an almost 13 year old thumb sucker, waiting for braces.

At least I could have taken a dummy away from him.

peacocks · 16/12/2009 11:03

Wilts I have a 14 yo thumb sucker with braces that are making not a blind bit of difference because he hasn't stopped.

pooka · 16/12/2009 11:12

Dummy!

DD and DS1 both had dummies, both got rid of them at about 3.5 to 4, with barely a backward glance.

DS2 remains to be seen. Is quite keen on dummy but also likes sucking his fingers. But is only 15 weeks.

I was VERY anti before having dd. But she was super sucky and also had desperate colic. Twas a lifesaver - I was perfectly happy to feed constantly for the sucking comfort, but alas that seemed to make her colic worse. She never found her fingers/thumb. Nor did ds1.

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