Dummy or thumb?

[heylottie]

Apols if this is a well trodden path...! And I hope it is in the right forum... perhaps it should be in the Feeding section??

My 8 week old dd is, what I would call, a 'sucky' baby. She feeds well and fast, but i do think she (and I!) might benefit from a dummy as she likes to comfort suck - and I think it will help settle her better at night rather than using my nipple, when i know she is sleeping and sucking as opposed to feeding.

As an ex thumb sucker myself I would prefer her to suck her thumb - I know that you can't take the thumb away. am I mad?

At what age do they 'find' their thumbs? At the mo she us sucking her fist - can I use a dummy now and a thumb later? I know a dummy/thumb won't work miracles but would like to try.

This question always bugs me at 3am...!

I never gave dummies or had any intention to. My children have found their thumbs but they're not bothered by it. I don't understand why babies are given them within hours of birth.

Well I kind of agree wrt babies being given them right from the get go. But once you have had a chance to get to know your baby, it's feeding patterns and whether it takes great comfort from sucking, then now no longer have any issue with dummies.

Babies are all different, and just because some aren't too bothered by thumb/dummy, doesn't mean that others would not positively benefit from having additional source of comfort. Like I said, with dd it made a massive difference to her when she was particularly colicky, and afterwards too. She just liked them. DS1 was less bothered than her, but still keen. DS2 - well it remains to be seen whether the fist sucking develops to thumb sucking....

It's funny how people talk about how you can't take a thumb away and they use it more when they're awake. I know a family who that was exactly the same with the dummy, until the dummy was the cause of the herpes virus spreading to all the children (some clever woman, who was also a mother herself, kissed one of them when she had a cold sore. They didn't know what caused it until they were in the hospital and met her partner with their child who also had herpes).

For me, as I've said, they're unclean, increase the risk of SIDS and are like playing Russian Roulette with the breastfeeding relationship. Not a game I want to play with my baby.

Thumb, definitely.
I just don't like dummies - but if they work for your baby, then great. We tried our LO with a dummy when he was about 4 weeks out of desparation. He hated it.
We helped him find his thumb, and now he sucks on his middle two fingers when going off to sleep. TBH, I don't see the problem if he is still doing it when he is older, from a social point of view. If he is embarassed by it he will learn either to stop or to only do it in private.
WRT his teeth, I sucked my thumb and had no problems with my teeth. My DH had a dummy, and had to wear braces. Ditto his sister.
Ultimately it is whatever suits your baby - maybe try both? I reckon DS was about three months before he was using his thumb for comfort.

Unclean - no more than a thumb IMO. Easier to sterilise than an attached thumb, that's for sure.
Breastfeeding - obviously can only go on my experience (though others seem to concur on this thread) that my dcs having a dummy did not/does not interfere with the breastfeeding relationship one iota.
SIDS - Your interpretation was not my understanding. Would be really interested in reading more. Checking on the FSID website suggests that their advice is not to worry about a dummy falling out...

I would be reluctant to encourage either TBH but if forced to choose would go for dummies because they don't push teeth forward and you can eventually take the dummy away.
I sucked my thumb until my early teens - had to have 4 teeth removed a wear braces for 18 months. It wasn't fun. My dentist did give me a choice and I could have said no but then I'd still be all goofy, not a good look.
My dd1 had a dummy until she was 3 at which point we restricted it to bedtimes for a while and then took them away altogether.

Dummies dropped on the floor and sucked by the parent is as clean as the thumb? All kids stick their fingers in their mouth at some point, for whatever reason.

Do you know how to play Russian Roulette?

Did you read the study for yourself or the explanation by UNICEF or did you just trust FSIDS highly spun version? Did you see the bit where the study was done on dummy sucking babies? Did you see that they are at risk if they don't keep it in all night? I highly suggest you read the actual study and not the spin for the sake of fundraising on the FSIDS website.

Do you also believe FSIDS (again heavily sponsored) advice that bedsharing increases the risk of SIDS?

confuddled. How pleasant. You're saying that all parents who use dummies are increasing the risk of their babies dying from cot death?

Nice.

confuddled, you are being rather aggressive I think. But I expect that's because on the internet, typed words can appear harsher and less inflected than in real life.

Of course a dummy dropped on floor and immediately replaced, or "cleaned" in parents' mouth not clean. But are you seriously suggesting that that is what dummy-using parents always do? I don't, that's for sure.

wrt russian roulette and the breastfeeding relationship, I can again only cite my own experience which has been that using a dummy, from 7 weeks with dd, from about 5 weeks with ds1 and ds2 has in no way interfered with the breastfeeding relationship we have had, and continue to have.

Common sense is what is required. In assessing how one's baby sleeps, feeds and so on. Re: co-sleeping/dummy use/cot death, there are a number of risks of course. And a number of questions and unknowns relating to the causes of cot death. I have read the UNICEF statement incidentally. And the FSID information too. FWIW my children have all had dummies during their last sleep (and I can agree with the posters who then ended up having to replace a dummy during the night when their child was not yet able to do so by themself).

The OP asked dummy or thumb? My response of dummy has been based on my experience, which of course will be influenced by how my children have been, the fact that none of them (though ds2 shows potential) have found their thumbs, the older 2 have perfect teeth and breastfed for well over a year, and the fact that dd had such desperate colic that we were at our wit's end about how to comfort her when constant constant feeding actually seemed to be making her colic worse.

Picante, I'm not saying anything, I'm just writing down what the study found. Dummies decrease the risk of SIDS in dummy sucking babies if left in all night. Yeah, pleasant study, I had nothing to do with it I'm afraid. Do you get upset when people quote studies that say formula fed babies are at higher risk of SIDS too?

pooka, you replied to me first. Great you stated your opinion. My post was next and you took that as my reply to you even though I never quoted you or used your name. Maybe that's why you see me as being aggresive?

Oh and pooka, bully you for you, you got the blank shot. I would be devastated if I was one who didn't, my priority was to maintaining the breastfeeding relationship and if dummies were going to risk that then I did whatever it took to not go there. Ever nursed a baby so tiny that your nipple was bigger than their mouth and so tiny that they need to be fed for 45 minutes in the hour? Me or the baby - easy.

?I don't understand what you mean? All 3 of mine have had mouths smaller than my nipple. DS2 is 3 months and i reckion if i measured....

WRT duration of feed, all of mine have fed for that long at some stage. Somrimes for much of day/night while feeding getting established. I don't understand the relevance to the dummy/thumb debate.

Excuse one-handed typing...

I had a baby born at 31 weeks and an IUGR at 35 weeks. The earliest was 3lb 12oz and the latest was just over 4lb. I doubt your three month old has a mouth that small and you must have massive nipples (I'd say mine are big) unless they were extremely prem and tiny. My one year old is the size of the average 1 month old and we don't have problems with the mouth being too small.

When my babies latched, with a correct latch, nipple in the back of the throat my nipple still came out their mouths, they came down on the end of the nipple. A baby that size can feed constantly, 45 mins on, 15 off for the first six adjusted weeks - ie 15 and 11 weeks. I've been told many times it's comfort sucking and to give a dummy - just like people here have said they gave one because they were feeding constantly. I could have and got a break. Would I still be feeding them both till they were over one? Over two? That was important to me, to stop on their terms without me introducing something in that could potentially damage that. That's the Russian Roulette for me and I didn't want to play.

Fair enough! That's what i meant by judging your own baby and own bf relationship. All 3 of mine have been super windy, and with the specific case of dd, constant feeding was counter-productive as it genuinely seemed to exacerbate her stmomavh ache.

wrt nipple sizw, i was considerinh the size of the entire niple, including aureola.

left handed/one handed typing again!

my brother was iugr in 1968, weighed 4 pounds at 38 weekls. He was kept in until he was 5 pounds (so for about 3 or 4 weeks I think) and my mother wasn't allowed to stay with him - she used to get on bus to hospital every morning with a kilner jar full of expressed milk for the next night's feeds. I take my hat off to her.

Well yes, but the whole areola and everything doesn't go in the babies mouth

My youngest was/ is very windy. One day Mum came in from the kitchen to see who was making the noise and it was my 3 month/ 2month corrected/ 5/6lbish baby. She thought it was one of the men!

I didn't want to put nursing at risk and that's why I gave her what she needed.

With both mine I was ill too so they had to keep me in, it was hard work but you do it for your baby. I think that was part of why I didn't want to put it at risk because I'd worked so damn hard to get them on in the first place!

We are told at the parenting clases at hospital that the dummy helpd preventing SIDS. That you should use it even for the naps and then leave it if it falls out. I even have got a leaflet with that advise!

My DD sleeps with dummy, but we know she is deep, fast sleep when she drops it. Now, she does wake up a couple of times at night and we have to put it back which is not ideal, but at least it is always found behind her ear [grim]

Meant grin as in

I first read this thread when I was trying to decide the same thing. DP preferred dummy and I preferred thumb.

DS found his thumb but seemed to be sucking on it very strongly and I was persuaded that a dummy would be easier to take off him and would ensure his pallet formed correctly (he's FF and I know that BFing helps the pallet form correctly, to answer a question asked earlier about what people did before dummies).

He now has a dummy, but with limits. Only at nap/bedtime. We try to put him down without but if he can't settle/goes for his thumb then he gets a dummy. He seems to want it more for naps than bedtime, although sometimes it's the only thing that will soothe him.

I would definitely agree with others who have said it depends on the baby. As with all parenting questions the answer is "do what is right for your family"

DD just wouldn't take a dummy (borrowed all shapes and sizes) so she's a thumb sucker. I would have preferred her to have a dummy as I sucked my thumb for ages, but there you go!

in peoples opinion what do you think is the earliest to give a dummy to a baby. my DD is only 2 weeks old but is a nightmare in the evening and only wants to comfort suck. it's driving me crazy but don't want to ruin the BF that i have established (never managed with DS1 so want to keep it going as long as possible)

any advise would be greatly appreciated!

thanks

Thumb too...

Gave Ds dummy from 10 weeks to 5 months and he woke MUCH more because he wanted it in night (it would fall out). Also his breast feeding became much shorter and less relaxed. Once I took away the dummy (horrible thing to do) he slept better and breast fed for longer.... He sucked his hand for comfort from 13 months and it was SUCH a help (self comforting whenever needing to). But sadly stopped when he got Hand, Foot and Mouth Virus!

I would prefer my babies to be able to self comfort with a thumb (and put my head in the sand about the teeth issue! can't dentists sort that out later?)

I have spent nearly £2000 sorting out my teeth after a childhood spent sucking my thumb. My teeth don't meet at the front and this has only been a real problem since my back teeth started crumbling under the increased moment exerted on them in my thirties. Dummy every time!

I have a thumb sucking DD and the way I see it, most children now will have braces of some kind when they're older because the perfectly straight 'American' smile is so desirable and pretty much unattainable without braces.

For now (she's 18m), her thumb sucking gives me so many clues as to whether she's hungry/thirsty/tired, it's become invaluable. And she can't be without her thumb day or night and at nursery too.

I also hate the look kids with dummies have when they're trying to talk and keep hold of their dummy.

3 different dentists have told me that dummy is far superior and will not damage the mouth as long as they are not used past the age of 3.

i sucked my thumb only till age 4/5 and had horrible buck teeth, and painful braces to correct it

so my baby uses the dummy and i do hate the look and yes i do sometimes have to put it back in at 2am...but as soon as i put it back she is settled...much better than breastfeeding all night to soothe... and she loves it, it really calms her immediately...

As a former thumbsucker who had to go cold turkey on it at 14 and then have 2 years of othodontistry to fix the damage I'd done, I'd go with the dummy. Dummies can be taken away. Yes, they're a pain when they lose them in bed etc, but they don't do half the damage to teeth that thumb sucking does. And, my God it was hard to stop sucking my thumb - harder than giving up smoking! In any case, not all babies get upset when they lose their dummies. DS actually spits his out when he's deep asleep, and only really relies on it when he's got bad teething pain.