I want a cuddle! I want a cuddle! Is this night terrors or naughtiness?

[Nikna]

My 2.5 yr old ds has started waking in the night. And howls, he screams for a cuddle, and even when he has had several will not calm down. He gets hysterical. I am really not sure how to deal with it, having tried all sorts. Have tried bringing him to our bed, lying down in his bed, putting him back in bed and leaving the room. We leave the landing light on now, but he still seems to wake in a panic, and will not be comforted.

We had something like this with dd1 when she was just 2. Was not every night but as you say with your ds she would cry & cry & could not be comforted. She wasn't properly awake & I suspect it was some kind of night terror. As far as I can remember it lasted a few weeks - 6 weeks at the most & then things went back to normal.

I just used to lie on the bed with her & talk softly until she calmed down & went back to sleep. I do remember it being very upsetting for me but not seeing any sign of worriedness in dd1 during waking hours.

My 2.5yo does this as well. She is already in our bloody bed as well! She often says, "Mummy, I want yoooooooooooou", and I'm all like, "dd, I am lying right next to you!"

Gawd, it drives me insane. She does calm down after a cuddle though.

My DD2 (also 2.5) has started waking in the night recently and being shriekingly irrational (although seemingly lucid). We have "I don't want my pajamas on"; "I don't want to stay in bed"; "I want to watch television" - all delivered at the top of her voice!! I tend to just lie down on the floor next to her cot and say "it's time to sleep" over and over again until she calms down. If I get her out she is worse - I think because she's not fully aware of what's going on.

It often seems to calm her down if I offer her a drink of water - I think because it gives her something external to focus on, and of course she can't scream while she is drinking !

My DD did this at same age - Lasted a couple of months - After trying to comfort her we eventually realised that she wasn't even awake and the following morning doesn't know she has done it.

We just went in and stroked her face,spoke to her and tried to calm her (letting her know we were there etc) gave her a teddy and make sure she was comfy in bed etc - not much else we could do - if we tried to wake her up she was worse cos she was so tired and couldn't get back to sleep. Tended to happen more on nights that she had gone to bed late or been up early and was therefore more tired than normal.

DD1 suffered from night terrors until she was 6, I think they are worse for you than they are for the child as they will have no recollection of them. As others have already said we would just keep talking calmly until eventually she would either come round enough to realise we were with her and have a drink or she would just fall back to sleep. We found they were more likely to happen when she was over tired or had a tempertaure. No solutions for you I'm afraid but you have my sympathy, hope they don't last too long.

ooh I'd like to know this. 2.5 DS started waking in the night shouting for me, seems upset but also trying ti on a bit. Has just had a sister so may calm down

Yes it is driving ME insane. I am a grumpy mama when woken in the night to screaming. Will try to be very serene and comforting if it happens tonight, don't especially enjoy lying in his bed with him with my back pressed against the cold wall, or if he comes into our bed with his feet digging in for the rest of the night!

I think over-tiredness could be a reason. But that is a whole other problem ... the 'refusing to have my afternoon nap now' problem!

OH its so good to read this thread. My DS1 (2 last week) was up from 1am to 4.30am last night. Screaming 'no, no,no', thrashing about, (boy did I land a few blows to the chin and ribs) if I left the room he got out of bed and wrecked the book shelf, threw toys, asked for the light on, another story etc etc. Both DH and I tired to settle him. Did a quick read of Megan Faure book on Sleep Sense. He has been so good at sleeping 7-7 up until now so everthing she suggests is in place. As there was seemingly nothing wrong we tried the reasoning thing (I'll stay with you if you can be quiet and put your head on the pillow othewise I will leave until you can be quiet) it didnt work. I even tried Medised that didnt work either. Wish I had just taken him into our bed even though this is not something I want to encourage. Could it be nightmares/over active imagination ? Oh man I hope it doesnt last too long. (luckily DS2 didnt wake, phew) zzzzzz

I know what you mean abount not wanting to encourage to come into our bed. DS1 is coming in every night now. Seems to be a pattern emerging that it is always around 11:30ish that he wakes.

We have just been letting him hop into bed rather than have a battle getting him back into his own bed, and risk waking DS2.

Sleep deprivation is just plain nasty though zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Nikna we had this when DS was a similar age. We used a number of techniques including talking to him about how lovely his room is and how it was set up especially to help him sleep, talking about how his dinosaur (picture) watches over him and makes sure nothing comes to hurt him, explaining to him that if he wakes up he should cuddle Tufty (his bear) turn over and go back to sleep.

Finally we started incentivising him to stay in bed all night. Every night he does this he gets a sticker on a calendar. When he has 5 stickers he gets a toy from a bag we have in a cupboard in the kitchen. Sometimes this bag has surprises in it, sometimes, if we're having a bad time with him, I show him something he wants, put it in the bag and make him earn it. He'll ask to look at it from time to time but knows he can't have it until he has the 5 stickers. It's worked for us

Thanks, we have just used a sticker chart for potty training, and it has worked really well. Think that is def. something we will try for sleeping next