could it be silent reflux?

[M78]

I have a 5 wks old DD who is unsettled and uncomfortable most of the time, especially after been breastfed. Immediately after her feed she starts grunting, pushing, pulling her knees up to the chest and straining. At night it is really hard to settle her, it normally takes 1hr after each feed and she'll only sleep on top or next to me. I try to get her wind up twice during the feed and this seems to help a bit. She does not bring a lot of milk up, but she always gets hiccups after a feed which seems to really upset her. I have been giving Infacol, but that doesn't seem to work. Someone suggested it could be silent reflux, when I mentioned it to the HV, she just said she is just being a normal baby. Could it be silent reflux? Is there anything I could do to improve the situation? I feel so down, I am not getting more than 3hrs sleep per night and during the day I feel so tired that I can't do anything, I am also very short and grumpy with my poor 7yrs old DD. After 2 failed pregnancies due to fatal abnormalities I was so incredibly happy to have my baby girl, but now I sometimes wish I could have my old life back, I hate feeling like this, I feel such a bad mum

You are not a bad mother and I think your HV is right- she is being a normal baby.

Here is the link to the symptoms of silent reflux: link, it is more than just grunting and pushing and hiccups. First 2 indicate wind and the 3rd one is down to immaturity of their gastrointestinal system... they start hiccuping while in the womb.

Have you tried putting your daughter in a bouncy chair? I have got one of those for my son and he loves it and I let him sleep in it when he seems to have reflux (btw, for a while I suspected the silent reflux too but now I'm convinced he's just fine). So some nights he starts with sleeping in the crib but then I transfer him into the chair if after a feed he is not comfortable.

Are you feeding your DD while lying down, in your bed? My DS always gets bad reflux if I do that. Not sure why - maybe because I usually fall asleep and don't burp him and he does not spend any time in upright position after the feed.

Is she the same during the day? If she is I can't recommend getting the aforementioned bouncy chair enough....

I did buy a bouncy chair, but when she is so unsettled the only place she wants to be is in my arms! I do sometimes feed her lying down, when I am really tired, I will make a point of trying to keep her upright as much as I can to see if things do improve. It is so hard! I am just about to get her to bed for the night and I am really terrified at the thought of another sleepless night...

Sorry you feel this down but please try to remember that everyone has felt the same and this colicky/ reflux type stage does tend to pass. I thought my 8 week DD had reflux but the docter said that she didnt as she was always quite a hungry baby although she did have all the other symptoms you have mentioned. I fould feeding her as upright as possible andholding her upright for as long as poss after feeding helped. Also i found putting my hand on her chest and letting her tilt forward at around a 30 degree angled always setteled her after feeding (have no idea why). The other thing i know youare breastfeeding but I bought some Tommee Tippee Anti- colic bottles and they really worked for me. If things get really bad maybe you could give her some EBM or some formula before bed. Although I do understand you may not fancy it.
Also maybe see if there is someone to babysit her, even if its at your house and you and your 7 yr old could curl up in front of the TV in another room for a couple of hours?
Hope things improve soon for you