21 month old wont sleep through

[mummy2boyz]

Hi Im new here and was wondering if anyone could possibly help me.

I have 2 boys a 5 year old and 21 month old.

We have recently moved the youngest to a bed as he kept climbing out of the cot, it takes us between 30 mins and an hour to get him to sleep at night we take him to bed about 6:30 lay with him for a few mins rubbing his back then leave him as we dont want to get into the habit of him going to sleep with us there but then its like a yoyo up and down stairs putting him back to bed. We have a stairgate at the top of the stairs and he stands there screaming and crying.

He then comes to our bed during the night and i try to get him to sleep before taking him back to his bed.

He then wakes about 5:00 - 5:30 and refuses to go back to sleep.

As im sure you can imagine after approx 3 weeks this is now having a big impact on the rest of the family.

My 5 year old is so tired he is misbehaving and tearful. There is a lot of strain on my relationship (partner is sons dad) i am very tired and also suffering from pnd.

My partner will not help me during the week as he has a driving job but says he will help at weekends, problem is he is deaf in 1 ear so he manages to sleep through a lot of it so i have to wake him at weekends so im still awake so i dont get a single night where i can sleep through.

Im very tearful, moody and snappy because of all of this and my partner keeps snapping back and we are starting to have lots of arguments, he keeps saying its part and parcel of being a mum and because i dont work i can rest in the day but i have so much to do in the day i dont get chance to rest and my son doesnt sleep so i cant catch up with sleep then. I feel so low and im just not coping.
Please can someone help any advice/tips is greatly appreciated, thanks.

Your plan to have your DS2 self settle to sleep is clearly not working 3 weeks in, is it? Time for a new plan that has him going off to sleep as quickly as possible and in an manner that is not upsetting for him, i.e. staying with him. Yes, it will become a "habit," but the habit of a stress-free, pleasant bedtime is valuable, wouldn't you say? And children are pliable and new habits are easy to form; easier as they get older.

If I understood correctly, your DS2 is waking once a night and is then an early riser. You have to go to bed earlier in order to get your sleep in. Leaving him to cry is clearly not an option as it's not working at bedtime. I would submit that he's probably teething his molars and in pain and wants his mum, which I think is fair enough. You can medicate his pain or comfort him.

I feel your pain....DS is 18 months and regularly up around 5am (6 is a lie in) ~(and often in the night too), no matter what time he goes to bed or naps in the day. (I do think he just needs less sleep) Its worse now DD is back at school as its affecting her to. My DH surprisigly never hears anything .

Did he sleep ok in the cot? Do you think cos he can get out once he wakes he just thinks, ok time to get up?? Would he be old enough to use on of those bunny clocks to try and keep him in bed til after 6?

Sorry I'm not much use but perhaps by bumping this up someone will be able to help you.

I'd try gradual withdrawal if I were you - as ches says the plan of leaving him isnt working and he's getting distressed. It took me weeks for gw to work (and I spent a long time after I'd actually gotten out of the room just sitting outside the door telling him I was there if he started fretting) but it did work and now (most of the time) I can just say 'night night' and leave him and he will turn over and go to sleep.

As for early waking, well he is what he is. DS has always been an early waker - and whilst its improved, its still usually around 6am

Feel for you - sounds like you are having a bad time - everything seems terrible when lack of sleep is involved.

Could you try putting him to bed a bit later - are you sure he's really tired at 6.30? Appreciate he's been up a long time - my DS a very early riser too - 4.30 this morning - but your DS might benefit from a slightly later bedtime - also agree with gradual withdrawal - I used to sit with a book and a cup of tea just outside his room and would talk to him from outside when he got upset.