Any chance it will eventually be all right?

[Leedsmum2b]

My 6mo dd is, to put it mildly, not a good sleeper. She can manage to sleep in the car, in the pram, on a shoulder, or in bed with me, but screams hysterically within moments of being put in her moses basket or cot.

We have kept saying that it will get better when she gets over her colic/her eczema clears up/she starts on solids etc, only to be proved wrong every time. I suppose we are heading in the direction of controlled crying, though the thought fills me with dread.

Can anyone offer any hope that she will just grow out of sleep problems with time, and that if we keep trying to put her down in her cot at the beginning of the night, one day she'll make less of a fuss about it and drop off? I could keep going as we are (separate beds for me and DH, fitful sleep for me) if I knew there'd be an end to it at some point.

Thanks in advance for any moral support!

Have you tried taking the side off her cot and pushing it up next to your bed? You can feed her in her cot or else cuddle her in her cot and then slip away when she's fallen asleep.

That's worth a try - thanks. I have occasionally contemplated just getting in the cot with her, but that's not very practical!

It will get better. We had to sleep holding our 3 dd's upright for months when each was a baby. They are all in beds now and almost sleep through the night (they are 3, 5 and 7 years old mind!). I remember thinking it would never happen but it will. Have you tried letting your dd be in her cot awake while you work in the bedroom putting clothes away etc so she gets past associating it with 'stressfull' sleeptime. Even lean over and play with her, tickle her etc so she starts to get used to being in there. Does she sit and roll over (cant remember what age they do that) as I can remember my dd2 starting to settle once she could roll and sleep on her tummy.

Thanks frogwatcher for the reassurance! She is OK in her cot when I'm providing lots of entertainment, but she seems to get to a certain stage of tiredness and switch abruptly to wailing, clawing at her face and head, etc as though she can't hear me any more. The key would be getting her to drop off before she gets to that stage, but I can't seem to manage it.

She's sitting (though a bit wobbly) and rolling quite confidently now. I've tried putting her face down (though a bit scared about this), but it just wakes her right up or makes her furious; maybe she'll eventually learn to settle on her front for herself?

The key may be being able to roll over and snuggle down herself. It certainly was for my dd2 who was my best sleeper. I can remember that clawing and wailing though. I think that is when some people do the controlled crying just to teach them to go off themselves. I am sure somebody far more successful (and there really cant be many worse than me) at getting babies to sleep will be along soon to help you. All I can do is say that it does, and certainly will, get better.

That's what I want to hear!
I would really rather avoid cc if possible, mainly because my dh would crack very soon so I'd need to restrain him as well as myself (shouldn't it be the other way round?!).

Hi there, my DS was a terrible sleeper. Bad at napping, bad at night. I ended up snoozing with him during the day most days and he cracked the napping bit - he'll go 3 hours straight now if I don't wake him.

I was despairing of him ever sleeping through the night but it finally happened recently(ok, he's 2 now, but it still feels like a result!) and he has been gradually getting better and better over time as his sleeping patterns matured. I don't think going onto solids either is the turning point for all children (maybe for some it is, but not my DS anyway)

I didn't want to do controlled crying either and if you don't want to go down that route I would really recommend reading 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' by Elizabeth Pantley as it gives you some useful tips on how to gently improve sleeping over time and also reassures you that what you are experiencing its very very common!

Thanks (I love your name by the way!). I'm generally finding that reading advice on sleeping (eg baby whisperer) just makes me feel worse, because our situation is nothing like the ones described in the book; but have heard lots of good things about ncss so perhaps should give it a go...

I hated the baby whisperer, I found the whole PUPD thing ridiculous, but I'm sure it works for a lot of people. Even though the NCSS wasn't a magic cure for us, it made me feel so much better, I think I just related to the way she wrote more than some of the other books I read.

Oh good lord I didn't mean climb in! I mean when the side's off it you can lie most of your weight on your bed but put your torso in the cot to cuddle/feed.

Thanks ches, I see what you mean, it was just one of those crazy ideas that go through your head at 3am! . I have (once) actually breastfed dd while she was in the moses basket, didn't take me long to realise that wasn't a good idea.

Leedsmum / ches - you'll laugh at this - I really did get in the cot with DD1 when trying to get her to settle in it. It worked fine! It was a cotbed though so maybe a bit bigger than your cot! I curled up round her and lay there with her until she went to sleep. Problem was she had a habit of grabbing my hair and holding on so would wake up once I moved and climbed out! Once I sorted out my hair (tied back v tightly!) it worked a treat and she seemed to get used to the cot and after a couple of nights she was fine with going in it!! Mad maybe - but worth a try if you can fit! Ches' suggestion maybe better!