10 mo stands and screams when placed in cot!

[NKffffffffa8710514X12116a03ee1]

Hello Folks.

My DS is 10 months old. He has started screaming and thrashing around (standing up) if placed in his cot for naps or at bedtime, and I know nothing is wrong as when I pick him up he stops immediately. I can sometimes (rarely!) distract him with teddies in his cot - he plays happily for a while and then drifts off. This has come on very suddenly. Perhaps it's something to do with being able to stand up easily now?

Last night he slept in bed with me and DP as we were so desperate for sleep, but I don't want this to become a habit. I don't know if I should put my little one in his cot and leave him to scream - but he gets so upset that he throws his head around and I'm worried he'll hurt himself. Or perhaps this is all just a phase that will pass, but if so I'm at a loss as to how best to deal with it!

I feel like i'm moving backwards, as he was a good sleeper, didn't feed to sleep and he could self settle. After numerous attempts at putting him to bed, I sometimes end up feeding him to sleep (this only works if he has absolutely exhausted himself). I don't know how to deal with this without establishing a bad habit that he didn't have previously. Any advice would be so appreciated, thank you for reading my message.

Lucy

watching with interest! my DS (11mths) does exactly the same thing but he's unfortunately always been a bad sleeper!

This happened with my DD when she was nearly one. She learnt to pull herself up and started to stand up in her cot, screaming her head off during her daytime nap and occasionally at night.

The first time she did it, I thought there was something seriously wrong and went in, picked her up, checked her nappy etc. She was fine so I put her back to bed and she carried on screaming for another 10 mins. As it was day time, I gave up and put her in her pram and took her for a walk and surprise surprise, she fell asleep.

She didn't do this at night, but the next day for her nap, she stood up screaming again. I managed to leave her for about 10 mins but she was not going to stop so I took her for another walk to let her sleep.

By the 3rd day, I was fed up of taking her out of her cot, so I left her there and when the screaming became unbearable, I went in, laid her back down on the bed and patted her until she calmed down. After 5 mins or so, she started to fall asleep so I left the room and she stayed sleeping.

On the 4th day and 5th days I repeated what I did on the 3rd day. By the the following week (after about a week of this screaming), she suddenly stopped standing up in cot (I peeped in on her) and she fell asleep after about 10-15 mins of screaming. I figured that as she was not standing up and injuring herself, I'd just leave her to scream until she ran out of energy.

She has screamed and stood up a couple of times at night too and I did the same thing as during the day i.e. go in when it gets really bad, lay her back down and pat her til she is calm and quiet. Then I leave the room before she is completely asleep. She has cried out again or wailed in protest, but generally has fallen asleep without screaming or standing up.

I really think it is a phase they go through. DD is now 15months and no longer stands up. She usually screams for 5 mins every time I put her to bed and then falls asleep. I just accept that she will always protest loudly before falling asleep.

Can I just add my support and sympathy- my ds who is 10 mths has just suddenly started going hysterical when we put him in cot and leave his room- he always loved his sleep before this!! Nightmare. Hes absolutely fine as long as we stay with him but that just isn't practical!!

It's a phase. It's when they are confident standing and their brains are ready to work on walking. It's a massive developmental milestone. Their brain says 'stand stand stand' and it's frustrating for them because they can't lie back down and they're tired and their brains are in overdrive.

It'll pass. You just have to find a way through it.

My DD has just had a phase of this. She is a bit older so I don't know if what I did would work, but I just kept going in, again and again, and put her lying down again. Sometimes I left her a minute, sometimes Ijust went in straight away. I think she did it for three dyas and then stopped.

BTW she was 17 months when she did this. A couple of weeks later she has started walking. It might be connected.

Like LaTrucha, I just lay dd back down and comforted in whatever way worked best at the time.

There are sooooo many threads on this, always the same thing, always standing up and crying.

Haha! My DS is 10 months old today and guess what he's just started doing? I put him down for a nap and he's up straightaway, either sitting or standing, sometimes crying, other times I can hear him bouncing on the mattress happily.

In order to get him to nap and go to bed tonight I have had to hold him down for 5-10 minutes until asleep - even if he was sleepy, if I let him go, he would sit up almost involuntarily.

Walking in two weeks . Oh lordy, crikey, please no, I've barely got used to crawling...

She is 17 months. It was time!

Hello everyone

Thank you for all your replies and advice, I really appreciate it. And to those of you who are struggling with the same problem - hang on in there!

DS is still crying when I put him in his cot, so out of sheer exhaustion I have been feeding him to sleep at night, taking him for walks so that he naps in his buggy etc... anything to get him to sleep. There is so much advice against this, warning against letting your baby form bad habits etc., and a real pressure to 'teach' your child to sleep. But to be perfectly honest my gut instinct is that this is a phase that will pass (as one of you said).

I was feeling guilty that I was failing to let DS 'cry it out', finding it too emotionally difficult. I felt that perhaps I was taking the easy way out and not doing what was best for DS, but what was best for me to get some sleep! But (and this is for anyone struggling with similar sleep/crying problems) this morning I started reading 'Sleeping Like a Baby' by Pinky McKay. It was really encouraging as she offers a fresh perspective in contrast to the 'sleep training' school of thought and now I feel empowered to relate to my son in the way I think is best - I don't feel like a failure, or that I'm doing him a disservice when I go to comfort him when he cries. It's tough and very tiring, but I'm just holding on as I know this will pass.

One of you mentioned this being a massive developmental milestone (standing up, getting ready to walk)... Thank you so much, I hadn't really thought of it like this before. Thank you thank you thank you, everyone. And if anyone else is struggling and wants to chat, send me a message x

I've been there and come out the other side.

I always looked at it this way, that if hearing my baby cry made me hurt on the inside and every instinct I had was to go to her, then mother nature was sending me a very strong message. Crying is the only way they can communicate and I decided that when she cried for me there was no way I was going to let her believe that I wouldn't come to her as soon as I was able.

As far as feeding to sleep/rocking etc, well I have the same attitude in that. I believe wholeheartedly that sleep is a developmental thing. Babies learn to sleep through and settle themselves as a matter of development and you can no more force it than you can force them to walk or talk. Gentle encouragement fine, but crying it out/controlled crying, for me, was leaving my child with no options but to give in as I wasn't responding to her cues. Development and sleep go hand in hand.

Their brains are so, so busy when they're learning to go from standing to walking that they can't switch off. There's research to support this and everything.

You do what you want to do and what suits you. Please don't feel guilty or apologise for it.

How are all the standing babies doing? My DS is obsessed with standing/sitting in his cot and no sleeping bag will stop him. I'm a bit worried as it usually ends up with him falling over and hitting his head but he seems fine after a quick cuddle and kiss. Really hoping this phase passes soon...