Support thread for those who were under the misguided illusion that their DC would sleep through by six mo - come and join!

[arthymum]

Did you assume that your DC would be sleeping through by the time they were 6 mo - and now you've hit the milestone you realise you were wrong, wrong, wrong as you stagger out of bed 1, 2, 3 times a night?

Do you sometimes can't help but wonder if you'd done things differently (BF/FF/stuck with the dreamfeed/co-slept/put them in their own cot/followed a GF routine/listened to your MIL ) you'd be getting more sleep?

Do you sometimes dread meeting up with other mums with perfect sleepers (especially when said babies are way younger and tinier than yours)?

Are you in a permanent state of confusion and doubt about whether to 'try' something or not (CC, ssh-patt, PUPD, NCSS etc.) but feel it's never the right time (teething, cold, too young) and not sure anyway whether you have the bottle/energy to see it through?

Do you hold out faint hopes that they'll sleep better when they're on solids/when the teeth come through/when they're another pound heavier/when they're in the new gro-bag/when they're on more solids - and each time - wrong again?

Do you mostly cope okay but every now and then feel tired and miserable and sorry for yourself and burst into tears at the postman or get into a petulant fight in Sainsbury's?

Do you secretly fear that you'll be on here in 3 years time, posting about the fact that you haven't slept for nearly 4 years?

Then come and join me! I've seen you lurking on other threads but feel that we need a place to congregate. Share your tears, tantrums, triumphs and tips - and hopefully one by one, we can all eventually disappear off the thread and into the land of nod....

Ho hum - yet another phase hey? I'm sure you're right! May it pass. I thought a demotion was in order because although I know we've made massive progress on some fronts (ie not feeding to sleep) I still keep getting down about the haphazardness of our nights. I dream of being able to go to bed 99% sure that you won't have to deal with any tears or wails until the morning!!! Is that the world of artifarti now? I do hope so!

99%!! Oooh no, not until he's about 12 I reckon! More like 50:50 but he doesn't want feeding now - it's either his teeth or that he's got into a funny position or just generally had a bit of a freak-out. Mahoosive improvement though so even this morning's 5.20 start (which also involved falling down some stairs and maiming my cat ) is not moan-worthy.
Hope it's catching for you all.

You're right, you're right - I'll settle for 60:40 !

Amani - your life sounds very much like mine

Hope everyone had restfull nights last night...I had a good 2.5 hour undisturbed sleep which was bliss
Going to take LO to doctors tonight as she was frantically pulling at her ear and not settling again so just going to get her checked over to ensure she hasn't got an ear infection and its just teething thats causing the discomfort, bless her.
Artifarti - I took her into bed at 4am this morning, bf and she slept for another hour so that was really nice. However I can't help worrying I'm making a rod for my own back....
Too tired to care!
Underaveragemum - LO has just started wedging her foot in cot bars so I'm watching your threads to see if they just magically stop doing that anytime soon!
Have a good day all

Hammy - hope your LO's ears are okay. I would worry about the back-rod (!) when you are all a bit more rested, less stress and teething going on etc. Have to confess to getting lazy on the feeding-to-sleep at bedtime, which seems to be the cardinal sin of baby sleep (can't say it makes much difference to DS though...)

Hello girls!

I haven't come to this thread for ages... really sorry I've disappeared. But I thought I'd come back & let you know that things have really improved on our side of things. So I guess we're in the 'success story' category (for now! I still am paranoid that DS will return to his old ways anytime soon).

What changed with us is that we decided- after being so sleep deprived we couldn't think straight- to ditch DS's dummy & do it cold turkey. I have to say, it worked much much better than we had expected! Yes, there was a bit of crying especially the first couple of nights, but it was better than we had thought. The first night I sh-sh-sh patted him through the crying & the initial shock of his 'dummy-less existence!' The second night I went in every 5 mins or so, and then we gradually increased the intervals during which we went in, but his crying never was more than 10 mins, and even that was usually on & off, 'whinging' kind of crying. So I suppose what we did is quite close to the dreaded controlled crying (BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRR) which I was so terrified of myself. But I have to say that it worked very very well. Not only is DS able to self settle now, babble to himself when he wakes, turn sides & sleep again. He's also dropped his milk feeds of his own accord, just by sleeping better. It's really meant DP & I have our sanity & lives back. We're all sleeping so much better, the baby is doing better, less cranky, more happy. I really could make a long list of benefits to our whole family, so I guess my message to all of you is: if my DS who used to wake EVERY HOUR and not settle without a cuddle / his dummy / milk is now sleeping basically through the night (with the odd exception) then any baby can do it. I'm starting to believe that it's more a learning process than a developmental milestone.

Anyway. Don't want to sound evangelical here but I'm so very relieved & surprised by how quickly / easily things worked with DS's sleep...

Morning everyone, hope you all had good weekends?
My dd antibiotics kicked in and her restless settling seems to have (says quietly in case it jinxes it) eased and she definately isn't waking up nowhere near as much (Until the next bout of teething/growth spurt/illness )
So thankfully, even though I'm still up twice a night, she's going straight back down after bf
My birthday today...33 and feeling it tbh! But dd started saying 'mum' over weekend so that gave me a proud mummy moment!
Hope you all had some sleep over weekend...good to hear Maria2007 success story!

Hammy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! And how wonderful to hear 'mummy'...

Maria and Hammy - hurray for marvellous sleeping-more babies!

Hammy - you sound much better. Happy birthday! 33? Why, that is a perfect age, you are in your prime .

DS has still been sleeping through, despite eating hardly anything due to bug, so maybe now I can ease up on stuffing him with mashed potato and Oatibix every supper-time (didn't dare to before in case that was the magic potion and I jinxed everything!)

That's all such wonderful news!

And although I'm a bit nervous about writing it down (I'm like you hammy): lo slept through! From 6.40pm until 5.30am... followed by an hour long nap this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Totally, utterly unheard of. The night previously we'd done similar to Maria - basically letting him settle himself, though I was sat on a stool just outside his door so he could see me. It took 20mins and he woke up twice, then last night he seems to / might have cracked it! And he's 8 months on Thursday. Long may it continue!

More good news underaveragemum! Think you might deserve a promotion now?!

yup!

I saw this thread when it was first created and hated that such a topic could exist. I was still living in my optimistic world. DS is 6 months on Sunday and I may be joining you .

He's quite a good sleeper usually doing 7-10 and 11-6/7 but not every night, its SO unpredicatable with him waking at 2/3/4 or 5am sometimes and I don't know why. I don't mind them but because I never know what he is going to do I often don't sleep well as I am waiting for him to wake up.

So, hello from me!

Yes please. My ds1 slept pretty well as a baby but has sn and gets up for the loo at least once - he likes to involve us in this,which I'm trying to convince him isn't necessary anymore. ds2 was a nightmare till he was 2 but dd (6m) takes the prize as she now sleeps like a newborn, up every two hours for a feed.....

I felt completely bulldozed this week so have decided to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT (she says in capitals to convince herself!).

Skipped two of the little early hours feeds last night with less crying than expected so crossing fingers and steeling self for tonight's adventure.

SJisontheway - you must be exhausted.Hope you are asleep now

ChocOrange05 - hello! I do believe we met on another sleep thread a few months ago entitled something like "Help! My DS goes berserk at naptimes and it's snowing and so I can't be bothered to go and push him round the park!" (or somesuch) Sounds like we've both come a long way since then. FWIW, your DS sounds like he's doing a lot better than most of ours were at his age. Up until a month ago my DS (8mo now) was waking at 1am and 4am, regular as clockwork. I know it's little consolation when you're hauling yourself out of bed in the small hours but, honestly, it will happen.

marmoset - three children, I take my hat off to you! Hope that some sleep is coming your way soon.

Ooh can I join this thread?

DS is six months old. From about 2 months on his sleep got better and he was able to go longer at the start of the night - put him to bed at 7 and he wouldn't wake until 12/1, and then 3-hourly after that. By 4 months he had a week where he only woke once every night, then a week where he slept through - a whole, continuous week!

It's never happened again though. After that his sleeping has steadily got worse until he's waking at about 10pm every night, and sometimes 2-hourly from then on. The only thing that settles him easily is breastfeeding, so I think I've made things worse by getting him in a habit where he needs to feed to sleep.

Anyway, DH came up with a master plan of breaking this habit and trying to teach DS to self-settle, so all this week, whenever DS has woken and started crying, I've stayed in bed and DH has tried to comfort him, offering him water and cuddles! He's not having it though - screams for quite a while and then wakes up again 2 hours later and DH has to go through it all again. However, we have had one night this week where DS only woke once, and one night where he only woke twice. This is better than he's managed for months so it can't be a coincidence, but DH thinks it might be more to do with him being really tired than our plan actually working!

Rhian - sounds like a v similar pattern (and cause) to mine and your plan sounds like a good one to me. I'm 3 nights into my 2 week plan and have stopped feeding between 12-6am-ish.

Next stage is to stop having to lift and cuddle dd back to sleep, although she did wake up again just after being put back at 5am today and I thought 'sod it' and let her cry. She went over in a few mins and not one of the men in my house - big or small - woke up.

Waiting to see how it goes tonight but I'm determined to give this plan a good go before I curl up and die of sleep deprivation

That's what I'm thinking - we'll give it two weeks before regrouping and thinking of something different! The one night where he only woke once though was bliss - especially as he actually woke a couple more times, but just whimpered a couple of times and then went back to sleep by himself with no fuss at all. He's taunting us with the knowledge that he can do it!

Night 4 of Operation Slumber went well last night - dd fed at 12 and then woke up twice but settled herself back to sleep (with me standing outside her door...). I think you're right maria - it must have something to do with retraining!

How are you getting on rhian?

marmoset - that sounds good! And once they get the hang of settling themselves, something just seems to click. We barely hear a squeak out of DS now (well, not until 4.55 when his teeth were hurting and so he decided it was time to get up for the day )

artifarti - do you know the poem about The Baby Across The Way? I am holding your DS up to my dd as that baby to shame her into submission tonight (I'll miss out the 4.55 bt!)

Last night was a bit better - woke about 11pm and DH settled him fairly easily, then didn't wake again until 5.20, when I fed him Fingers crossed for tonight!

rhian - Brilliant progress! Good luck tonight.

I don't want to jinx it but this plan seems to be working - dd has had 3 pretty good nights in a row with 6-8 hours sleep in a row. Feeling fantastic today so going out to enjoy the sun in case this is all a dream and dd back to old tricks tonight!

How's everyone else getting on?

Morning Ladies

Sounds like everyones sleep plans are working (whispered very quietly so as not to jink them!!)

My DD has got to an impressive all time worst now!
After our two good nights last week, it has now resorted to her bf as normal at bedtime but as soon as she goes in the bloody cot she wakes up and proceeds to scream/cry for a good 30 mins to sleep. Then she'll be awake again 30 mins later, and take another age to settle by screaming/crying.
I spent all of last night tooing and froing from her bedroom and by 10pm just bought her into my bed where she went to sleep straight away
My DH says she is playing us something proper whereas I still don't think she's over her ear infection/teething, but I'm worried that bringing her into our bed for the last 3 nights is a pattern I don't want her getting used to.
However I cannot cope/function working F/T, trying to be a mummy to my 2 yr old, be a good wife and keeping the house clean (my bathroom is awful ) with this every night.
Its really getting to me now, I'm dreading every evening as it approaches and feel like a walking zombie.
I know shes poorly but as soon as this passes I am going to have to do cc or something as this is awful.
Sorry for the uninspiring post after all the really positive ones on this thread.