YEAR OLD DD HAS NEVER SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT

[kazza3]

We are at our wits end my dd has never slept through the night and wakes up at least twice demanding a bottle. She was a prem baby so I dont know if this makes any difference and what makes it worse is that I work nights. Last night I came home half way through my night to see if all ok and found dh begging dd to go to sleep. As soon as I held her she fell asleep which upset dh. She settles better when I am not working but I have to work. During the day dd can be clingy to me and wants to know exactly where I am in the house. Any ideas or advice???

Only have one baby and she always been a good sleeper (at night - daytime is a bit different ) so take my advice for what it is. I know each baby is different.

My tips would be NEVER feed her at night (unless she is ill and needs fluids) and don't go in to see her at night if you know she is OK (ie not ill or in danger). It sounds harsh, but babies need sleep as much as they need food and you need to be tough.

We've stuck to these principles and they've worked for us with no problems and no distress for dd. She was sleeping through the night (11-12 hours) with a dream feed from seven weeks (and she was mostly breastfed). When she's not ill, she wakes up maybe one night in 20. For example, she woke up last night at 3am and I went to see her(I'm not an ogre!), reassured her quickly without picking her up (another rule!), left the room, she whimpered for a second (literally) and fell back asleep. You might need to do controlled crying, which I hope never to have to do and I don't envy you. However, better to do it now than have a two-year-old that has never slept through the night! Baby whisperer book is v good; health visitors can also help. I know there are sleep clinics if things get really bad.

Does she settle down straight away if you give her a bottle kazza? If she does, and you/your dh also get back to sleep quickly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. My kids were 10, 11 and 12 months when they started sleeping through.The youngest is now 13 months and still wakes up occasionaly if he is under the weather, etc. I give him some milk and generally he goes back to sleep ok. Obviously if she wakes up and won't settle again you may want to think about some sort of sleep training, especially if you and your dh are suffering. The clinginess is a phase, very normal at this stage and shouldn't last too long, especially as she gets more mobile.

Kazza. If she is fine now and has no health problems related to her early birth, I would suggest to stop seeing her as a premature baby and deal with her as with a full term child. She is going to be OK, honest.

Maybe the info in this thread can be of help. Don't be put off at the title, it has some good advice on it. HTH

Kazza3 my baby was similar in that she was prem and always tiny. Therefore I was always aware that she 'needed' food. However once she was about 13lbs (about a 13 - 14 months old) I realised it was simply a habit and one we HAD to break. Does she go to sleep OK? Miin always went off OK, but woke in the night. If so I started replacing her milk with 1/2 milk, 1/2 water for a few days (I took this slowly to be on the safe side! I know better now!). She used to drink a bit, then leave it. SO I tried offering just water!! Not a happy bunny It is so hard in the middle of the night to deal with a screaming child, but I decided I HAD to do this. So water it was, after a few nights of waking, only being offered water which she wouldn't have, she was left unhappy. I think it took less than a week for her to realise it wasn't worth waking up for!!

3 weeks later I was PG and woke up a million times a night for a wee!!

My dd was still waking for a feed at 9 months and my wonderful hv told me that it was time to cut out the feeds at night. She sugested that I cut the feed by one oz a week. In the end dd was down to 1 oz of milk and 1oz of water, and couldn't be bothered to wake for it any more.

It took a while, about 6 weeks, but it was a nice, stress free, gradual way of doing it. She then because a ver good sleeper, and at 8 (god! where has the time gone) she still is

Huge sympathies, mine also didnt sleep through till recently and he is 20 months now. Although i never gave him drinks at night i was going into him sometimes every half an hour all night. When i worked night shifts, dh said that he slept through. I just supposed that this was because i am in tune to every sound he makes and wake easily.
I tried controlled crying, ignoring him, and leaving him to shout and cry, but now he has learned to talk he tells me what he needs so i hear "Donna....Dodo" through the darkness!!!!
It has improved in that i only go into him maybe 3 times on a bad night but probably 4out of 7 nights he now sleeps through. When he does wake, i dont put the light on, dont talk to him, dont lift him out. I find dodo, wrap him up then leave the room. he goes off immediately, mostly.
It has been a hard hard slog to get to this and i have posted numerous begging messages on here for advice. It apears that only time and them getting older is when they improve.
The advice about weening the drinks is good advice but persistant consistancy is the key, stick to it as best you can. Its hard and i wish you luck but its not forever.

Thanks for the advice and I will try water and stop her feeds. Once she has her milk she totally conks out but she has always been an active baby and only sleeps for one hour during the day and goes to bed at 11pm because she is not tired. My other two were like that but they did sleep through the night but didnt go to bed until 11pm. My eldest is now 13 and she goes to bed at 10pm but finds it very hard to fall asleep even though she leads an actice lifestyle - dances 3 x a week, sport at school x 2. I guess my dd and ds are just bad sleepers!!!!!!!

I would probably say that your lo is a bad sleeper because she is very overtired and overstimulated - 11pm is very late for a 1 year old to go to bed and then obviously she is unsettled during the night too. This is probably why your lo is so clingy during the day as well.

I would advise a bedtime of between 7 and 8pm after a calming bedtime routine. I would use the babywhisperers pick up/put down technique to get her to sleep and also for any time she woke during the night.

It will be hard work but worth it if it gets her to sleep.

Tried all the advice and dh said dd only woke up once. The trouble is I only sleep 4 hours a day so maybe my dd and ds are taking after me !!!!!!!!