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Sleep

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Original poster

5 mth old resists napping in day

21 replies

Bellini12 · 13/01/2009 11:36

Does anyone else have a baby that hardly naps during the day? My DD is only just 5 months and ever since she was 10 weeks old has really struggled to get herself to sleep in the day. I am desperately trying to get her into a routine: putting her down at same time every day / feed times same every day but to no avail.

The only way she falls asleep is if she is cuddled to sleep then gently placed in her cot. Then the longest she will sleep is 30 mins exactly!

Ironically, once she is down at night (cuddled to sleep again) she will sleep right through so can obviously self-settle during the night.

Occasionally she will nap in the pram longer than 30 mins - only if we are constantly moving.

I find she is yawning during the day and we are constantly playing catch up. When she has slept she is happy but if she is overtired we will have lots of screaming at night before bedtime. A health visitor recommended she just slept on me but of course this isn't practical (esp with a toddler in tow). Any ideas or anyone else suffer from this problem?
It's driving me nuts as I have no spare time!

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bluebump · 13/01/2009 11:47

This sounds exactly like my DS but it's not as big a problem for me as he's my only child! You could almost time my DS and as soon as 30 mins goes by he's awake instantly! Sometimes he'll be so tired he'll have an afternoon nap and sleep for 2 hours but even then I don't relax as i'm constantly checking on him as it's so unusal. I don't try to get my DS to sleep at a certain time, I just try and watch when he's tired (usually does that vacant stare) and settle him down - he actually sleeps better in the day on the sofa with me just pottering around him. Like your DD he sleeps through the night and I do hear him wake up and settle himself too so this isn't a problem.

My DS will also sleep for ages in the pram if he's tired and we are constantly moving which is fine but last week it was too freezing to go out all the time and the last two days here have been wet and he cries if I put the rain cover on his pram!!

Sorry I just realised that this is not at all helpful, it just sounded very much like my life!

SydneyB · 13/01/2009 11:47

My DD, 2, was like this until she was about 1. And my DS, 3 mths, is showing signs of being same. He takes 5 or even 6 short naps a day and can only stay awake for about an hour in between. Turning into quite a good sleeper at night though and DD was great so am not worried. I think you might just have to hang in there unless you have time to spend hours battling with her which obv. you don't with a toddler too! DD now takes a lovely 2.5 hr nap after lunch so there is hope.

Original poster

Bellini12 · 13/01/2009 14:16

Funnily enough, my toddler was much the same, but learnt to self settle herself at 5.5 mths and was a brilliant napper and sleeper from there onwards. Sadly my 5 mth old is showing no signs of getting better, in fact today she's done 3, 20 minute naps today - each one taking 15 mins at least to put her down. So much for the 3.5/4hrs a day she should be having.

When she starts to stir, I rush upstairs to try and settle her but it never works... so bring her downstairs to start all over again!

I really can't go on with this as I could forgive it in the beginning when she was tiny and let her sleep on me but she really NEEDS to sleep in her own cot (and I really NEED the time off!)

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ShinySarah · 14/01/2009 12:02

Thank God, I have just had the same day. I battle with my 4 month old to put him down and I do everything I supposed to (as it claims in the books)...I try to do it same time each day, same routine, watch for sleepy signs etc... He will wake and at the minute I'm torn between letting him cry and getting him up. So if anybody has any suggestions about best ways to settle a lo then I'd appreciate it too!!!!!

Lovage · 14/01/2009 19:58

Just another me-too. Reassuring to know I'm not the only one.

spongebrainbigpants · 14/01/2009 20:01

Another "me too" !

Where are all the sleep experts when you need them?! I'm just reading the No Cry Sleep Solution - but because my DS doesn't nap I've only got to pg 4!!

MiniMarmite · 14/01/2009 20:20

I've started using the Pick Up Put Down method of the baby whisperer and, with some perseverence, have been able to extend my DSs naps by about an hour - only just started so not sure if it will work on a longer term basis but making day to day easier at the moment.

MiniMarmite · 14/01/2009 20:20

FrannyandZooey · 14/01/2009 20:22

use a wrap sling and just get on with your day - very effective and stress free

Original poster

Bellini12 · 15/01/2009 13:34

My daughter is now 15lbs and I am only small so unfortunately find a sling gives me backache.

Today she has done 9.00-9.30, 11-11.30, then woke up crying as was so obviously tired but no amount of stroking/patting worked so got her up. Then tried putting her down at 12.00 (so I could go and make my toddlers lunch) but she eventually dropped off at 12.35 for guess how long?.... yup, 30 mins exactly!!!

Please, please does anyone have any solutions? I am so struggling to get on with my day (esp as it can take 15 mins at a time to get her down) that I have even considered employing a nanny for a week to see if she could crack it (but they are v. expensive). I am sure once she can self-settle then we are on the right track but despite trying for 2.5 months now we are no more advanced.

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 15/01/2009 13:48

yup, a sling like baby bjorn will be very uncomfortable now on your back
however a wrap sling should be fine - i mean the fabric type you tie - a woven one, not stretchy jersey type
ellaroo is just an example, there are loads of types

your dd obviously isn't ready to learn to self settle in the day yet - and from reading all the posts here you can see this is not unusual for babies this age - in fact it is really usual! hence the popularity of slings - you can just continue with your day while your baby sleeps, and you don't have to get stressed out about letting them cry or trying to make them self settle when they haven't yet developed enough to do so

it sounds v v difficult what you are trying to do, with your toddler wanting your attention
i think life would get a LOT simpler if you just go with it and bung her in a sling

chandellina · 15/01/2009 16:47

ugh, am listening to my 5.5 month DS grizzle right now, clearly tired but refusing to nap.

He sometimes will have one or two catnaps but many days are like today, where he has absolutely no sleep at all.

he is always harder to put down at night when he has no naps, so i am not happy.

my mother was able to shush and rock him to take a 45 minute nap while she was visiting (unfortunately she lives thousands of miles away) but when i try the same, his mind seems to turn to milk.

the buggy sometimes works, but i live up stairs and so it seems he is always just off, and then we are home and he wakes up screaming.

i used to sling him but he hates it now and it revives my pregnancy SPD.

so, no advice, just another frustrated me too.

and he is up every couple hours in the night, so i am a zombie basically.

bitofadramaqueen · 15/01/2009 20:16

Another me too (without advice, sorry). My 6mo DS has 3 naps of exactly 20 minutes. He's then pretty cranky in the run up to bedtime. I'm looking forward to going back to work to get some peace in the daytime!

mookickkick · 16/01/2009 12:05

Hello all. If dd (nearly 6.5 mo) refuses to sleep but is clearly tired, I put on some white noise. It could be the dehumidifier or whatever else. Anyway, for the past week, she hasn't needed anything. Just settles beautifully, which is rather a pleasant surprise! To get her to sleep longer than 35 min was more difficult. A dark room really helps but it's still hit and miss. Weaning has helped, I think, but it's early days...

tenacityflux · 16/01/2009 14:36

Read the thread '2 hours to go to sleep' if you want to ready my story, just the same, DD is in the sling asleep now after a bad night, but all week the once sucessfull sling has stopped working, and has left me at my witts end! It will probably just be time I guess, but when she has a bad night, the days are worse and harder to cope with and a bad day means a bad night - how do you break the circle???I envy the mothers of babies who sleep in the day, and all the books say 'see how your baby likes to nap and start your routine around that...' but what if they never nap!!

Original poster

Bellini12 · 18/01/2009 12:34

Yes, I find that every book I read refers to 'how to get your baby to sleep through the night' whereas mine sussed that bit quite quickly but I get hideous days instead! Yesterday she did her usual 3 naps of 30 mins (and a 10 minute power nap during a breastfeed) then SCREAMED non-stop for over an hour before bed, she used to do this up until Xmas but we thought it had passed. Obviously overtired. Nothing could sort her out. In the end, hubby put her in the pram and wheeled her around the house and she eventually dropped off, sobbing in her sleep! All very stressful (and woke toddler up).

I just don't get how she can self settle at night or if she wakes early can take herself back off to sleep but not last longer than 30 mins during the day.

Nice to know I'm not the only one with this problem though...

OP posts:

MegBusset · 18/01/2009 13:01

Short naps are v v v common and normal at this age. It's just a developmental thing. DS was a 30-min napper, you could time him to the minute (in fact I remember being on a thread with SydneyB about it way back when!).

He started going for longer naps around 6-7 months iirc. Nothing I did -- it just happened because, I guess, he was ready. In the meantime I would try not to stress, look at it this way, now I am tied to the house for 2 hours every lunchtime because at 23mo he will only sleep in the cot. At least you can get out and about!

Original poster

Bellini12 · 18/01/2009 16:34

I would give in to it and let her sleep on me if this was my 1st child but my toddler still has naps during the day so I have yet to master it whereby both are sleeping at the same time in their cots and I can have 5 mins to myself!

Am coming to realise this is the way it is, I just wish there was some improvement, however little. This weekend has been a shambles with lots of screaming and resisting sleep. She is only mustering up to 2 hours (very broken) sleep a day. I despair!

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MAvellous · 19/01/2009 14:41

I know how you feel - my ds has never really slept at all during the day. In fact 3 x 30 min naps sounds like bliss. Meanwhile, lots of his baby friends were clocking up 4-5 hours per day. I just think each baby will have what they need - and the fact yours sleeps through the night suggests she doesn't need any more than 1.5hrs per day. Perhaps your toddler slept more at her age so you were expecting the same this time round?

My ds is now 9 months and since he's started crawling, he suddenly wants 1.5-2 hours in the afternoon. However, I do have to help him along a bit - like nursing him back to sleep if he wakes after only 40 mins, and using a music box to get him relaxed enough for a long kip. Both these tips I got from the book 'no-cry sleep solution', which I'd definitely recommend...

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 19/01/2009 14:59

am another one here - i'd be fine if DS was happy with his 30min naps but he wakes screaming and stays in screaming overtired mode until fed or eventually napping again several hours later....

Original poster

Bellini12 · 20/01/2009 09:58

The frustrating thing is I know she needs more sleep, as after the 2nd 30 minute nap (if we succeed with that), she wakes up screaming and I can only snap her out of it by bringing her downstairs then trying again a bit later. My toddler just gets bunged in front of the TV whilst I am upstairs for ages cuddling and shusshing DD to sleep - which doesn't always work. If she was up and happy then I wouldn't mind, but when she is so obviously tired and needs to sleep longer then it is annoying.

My other DD was the same, but I had more time to spend with her so she 'cracked' the self-settling around this time. It's hard not to compare as they are so similar in so many ways.

I've got NCSS book but have only got half way through it as no time to read it either!

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