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Original poster

Has anyone ever taken a child of 8 to doctors as they don't sleep?

53 replies

ssd · 11/01/2009 21:27

as you can guess we're getting desperate

ds has never been a good sleeper and he's getting worse

we're having to lie beside him every night till he falls asleep - sometimes lying there for an hour

he won't sleep unless we're there. we've tried letting him scream but that keeps his elder sibling awake and isn't working for us as a family.

the doctors is a last resort but will he laugh at me?

OP posts:
morningpaper · 11/01/2009 21:28

ooooh sympathy

what does he say about it? Why does he need you there? how long does it take? have you tried lights on or lights off?

snickersnack · 11/01/2009 21:29

No, he won't laugh. There are sleep therapists out there who can help - if your GP is sympathetic (and he really should be under the circumstances) he should be able to refer you.

ilove · 11/01/2009 21:31

Your 8 year old lies and screams in bed if you don't lie with him??? Why???

Original poster
ssd · 11/01/2009 21:31

we feel we've tried everything

night lights, teddies to cuddle, letting him read for ages, cd with stories, nothing is working

TBH I feel he'd outlast a sleep therapist too, I think drugging him is the only option

only joking not

OP posts:
Original poster
ssd · 11/01/2009 21:33

because (in answer to why) he's scared

scared of the dark/the door/the wind/ the rain/the baddies (in his imagination)/the shelf that looks like a monster/the bad dream he had 6 months ago and can't forget/etc etc

he's needing to stop being scared but thats seemingly impossible for him

OP posts:
morningpaper · 11/01/2009 21:33

what does he say?

morningpaper · 11/01/2009 21:34

awww

how long does he take to get to sleep?

morningpaper · 11/01/2009 21:34

does he sleep through the night?

morningpaper · 11/01/2009 21:34

is he very bright?

TheGashlycrumbTinies · 11/01/2009 21:35

Sympathies ssd, we are going through the same at the mo' with our 3 1/2 year old. it's a killer.

ilove not a helpful comment really.

Original poster
ssd · 11/01/2009 21:39

he is bright, very smart and "with it"

also exceptionally stubborn, can out stubborn me and I'm bad!

if he wakes in the night he has to come in with me, can't stand being in his room alone in the semi dark, too scared of everything

OP posts:
Hassled · 11/01/2009 21:41

Take him to the GP - if you don't get a sympathetic response then try another one. If you can get to grips with the anxieties, the sleep will resolve itself.

Original poster
ssd · 11/01/2009 21:44

I think I will take him

his big brother was a wakeful child too, but eventually settled and is now fine

I keep thinking ds2 will settle, but this is too much, he's getting worse instead of better

I feel I'll burst into tears at the doctors, dh and I so very knackered we can't think straight

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 11/01/2009 21:51

melatonin.

it will take the edge off whilst you try to get the anxieties sorted.

i think it is unusual for a child with no sn, but not unheard of, and the doc should be fine.

i would def ask for a melatonin prescription whilst you do the other stuff as well. poor wee lamb. it probably is just habit by now though (as in, a habit to panic, not a habit not to sleep) you can ask whether you can slpit the dose and give the second half in the night if he wakes. once you and dh have had some sleep too then hopefully you can all tackle the other issues together.

we had six months of night terrors which was similar, but eight years i take my hat off to you.

madwomanintheattic · 11/01/2009 21:52

split the dose lol, not whatever i typed there...

jennifersofia · 11/01/2009 22:03

I would def see your GP and ask her/him to refer you to a sleep clinic or a child psychologist. Not implying that your child is 'disturbed', but just sounds like he has got himself into a tricky mind cycle that he can't get himself out of, and he needs to retrain himself (be helped to retrain) to get out of it. Do persist, even if it sounds a bit much or there is initial resistance from GP. Don't be fobbed off - you have struggled with this for 8 years now, and need a professional to help.

Hopefully · 12/01/2009 07:19

I used to have real problems gettng to sleep due to over active imagination - baddies, the man with the shrunken head in Beetlejuice (never ever take the risk of your 6 year olf accidentally watching this film - they will not understand it is a comedy!), the dressing gown on the back of the door - everything was scary.

Eventually my sister let me sleep in with her (parents bribed her, as all I wanted was company) - does your DS already share a room? Could you bribe an older sibling into letting him have a camp bed in there?

I know that with my sleep problem, nothing except the reassurance of someone else in the room worked. I guess I grew out of it at about 10-11, but still have insanely overactive imagination if I'm on my own in the house.

leothelioness · 12/01/2009 07:29

I really feel for you ssd you and dh must be exhausted I am sure your GP will be able to reccomend a sensibel course of actoin/ referal etc it will help you ds as well as you as he will feel calmer and more in control of his feelings too.

Original poster
ssd · 12/01/2009 09:43

thanks for all replies

hopefully your post makes me feel sad, he actually begs his big brother if he can sleep in with him but big brother doesn't want to share a room with him as he knows the little one will wake him up, also ds1's room is so so small, there's no room for ds2. I do think them sharing a room would help. But ds1 goes to bed after ds2 (priviledges of being older), and I know ds2 would just lie and wait for ds1 to appear.

feel really sad this morning, I had a right go at ds2, he's only 8, this morning about his sleeping, I'm just so tired and strung out. I told him I'm taking him to the doctors and he said "what will he do, hypnotise me?" and I said no he might give you something to make you go to sleep and he said "like giving a dog something to go to sleep means he dies", he thinks he'll die.

we're just fighting over this, theres no control or solutions and I'm a bit wary of giving him a drug that would help, I feel its the last straw and I'm kind of scared to give him anything in case it backfires and he can't give it up

OP posts:
Kbear · 12/01/2009 09:45

ask the Doc to refer you to sleep clinic - this is a nightmare situation for him and the family.

madwomanintheattic · 12/01/2009 11:09

melatonin is not addictive over a short period, and is often prescribed short term to get over this sort of problem.

we had the same thing about sharing tbh - dd2 would love to share with dd1, but dd1 can't sleep with the light on, and dd2 can't sleep with it off. so that's not a great solution for us either.

how about asking NAS if they have any social stories about this sort of thing? these are all things you could be doing whilst waiting for the camhs/ sleep specialist referral.

ask the pharmacist if there is an over the counter med you can use for a child? (ie nytol or similar) when mine were smaller we used to use medised at the slightest provocation lol. i am probably not quite as scrupulous as you are

above all - don't beat yourself up, but start making phone calls. at 8, you have to be the one that sorts it out, however you and the gp feel best. there are solutions, but you have to winkle them out with professional help.

it will be fine, but pick up the phone and call the gp. you don't have to take ds with you to the first appointment if you would find it easier to discuss without him present. it'll take time, so start dealing with it now. leaving it isn't going to help - you are all going to get more exhausted...

do you have a chance to rest during the day so that you feel a little less strung out?

Original poster
ssd · 12/01/2009 17:21

thanks, but what is NAS?

unfortunately I work school hours and have no family help/support, everything is down to me and dh and we're both done in

OP posts:
OneLieIn · 12/01/2009 17:27

Agree with everything everyone has said.

DD had a v bad patch for a while. We changed her room around, made a dreamcatcher, switched duvets etc and after a while it eased.

We are a family of sleepwalkers / talkers etc so I fully understand.

You have to sort this out though, you sound knackered.

Original poster
ssd · 12/01/2009 19:20

yep I'm knackered

can I ask whats a dreamcatcher?

OP posts:
OneLieIn · 12/01/2009 21:35

Here you go -

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamcatcher

you might think its all a bit hippyish, but DD loved making it (so did DS, we made him one too) as she thought long and hard about making it and what it would catch.