I can't go on like this :(

[turtle23]

Up until a few weeks ago we went between DS(7 months) waking once a night to eight times a night randomly. That was hard enough. For the last week or two he has started refusing to sleep in the day (two 30 min sleeps max) and is waking at 4. He has a cold and is teething (still, has been for months) and I can't take it any more. I have no help from DH or anyone else, I am becoming ill from not sleeping. I had 15 minutes sleep total last night as he could only fall asleep properly on my chest due to cold. My hair is turning grey, my eyebags are now deep, deep caves. I haven't got the energy to do anything. My house is a disaster zone.
I have tried leaving him to cry. After an hour I couldn't take it anymore. I have tried putting him in the car/buggy/whatever to at least try and get the day sleeps back in rhythm. No dice. He just won't sleep.
Please somebody tell me what to do.
Oh-he is on three meals a day +breast, but hasn't eaten much in the way of solids this week as three teeth are 90% of the way there.
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!

Ok - well teeth is a big part of the problem as is the cold. This will pass. You will not be spending the rest of your life existing on 15 minutes sleep.

Your dh needs to help - what is he doing whilst you are doing your best impression of night of the living dead? You need to divide up the night in some way - if you go to bed at 8 say he needs to be on duty -- and take your ds out if necessary till 12.30-1ish so you get interrupted sleep. Then it's your turn and he can have a straight 6 hours or whatever. It's awful but it will not always be like this. Is there anybody at all who could take him out in the pram during the day so you can nap?

If he isn't sleeping all that much then tbh he's probably as knackered as you and then it all becomes a bit of a cycle. Does he sleep in the pram at all - could you go on a 2 hour marathon and see if you can get some more sleep into him? Take earphones and some music with you and just walk. This may help you sleep to if you get the chance because right now you're so worn out you're probably too tense to sleep. Good Luck

oh good grief - I meant UNinterrupted sleep! What can I say - had a bad night here myself (dd3 18mths - woke up screaming at 12.50. Came into bed with us and then fidgeted and fretted for the rest of the night then dh had to get up at 5.30 for early train so she insisted on getting up then too - nothing to what you're coping with but not great)

At the beginning of the week did a 2 1/2 hr walk with pushchair. He had 8 minutes. Decided to go for drive, he slept 15 minutes out of 90. DH won't help. Could go into the whole thing, but easier to say that he just won't. Or rather, he says he will, but never does, making it even worse. No, at the moment the only friends who could help are having IVF implant this week and taking it easy, had a baby two days ago, and on holiday. I just want to crawl away and hide.

What are you doing to manage your ds' pain? He's obviously suffering with teething and a cold so perhaps some nurofen before bed would help? I'm sure I'm stating the obvious, but my ds has just pushed through four teeth and had a chest infection at the same time, and nurofen was our life saver. Gave him enough relief from the pain to get to sleep. Even for a few hours. Antibiotics did the rest

I see he is consistent at least! Ok - well just because he didn't sleep then doesn't mean he wouldn't if you tried it again (don't sue me if you get blisters though ) That is totally rubbish of your dh - ds is his ds too and he needs to step up. However - fathers not doing anything is probably a whole different thread. How do things stand financially - is there any scope for hiring help? That should concentrate dh's mind if nothing else will.

Nurofen every night this week at bedtime, and sometimes at 1/2 or 3 lately. Even resorted to Medised (yes, I know that they've changed the rules but I'm desperate) but he is one of those weirdos who gets hyper rather than sleepy with it.

He does manage to sleep from 730 to 1030. Usually he sleeps til 130 before the fun and games begin. Last night was every hour from 10 something. Can't even remember what I was just going to say...

Hiring help not an option. Wish it were though.

Maybe the nurofen isn't doing it for him. Calpol? If it's genuinely making you ill then maybe a trip to the doctor's might yield something a bit stronger. I'm not advocating heavy medication, but perhaps there's something else you're not aware of that might help.

Have you tried all the traditional cold remedies? Raising one end of the cot, baby vicks/olbas/both, humidifier in the room (or damp towel with olbas oil on it on a radiator) and so on? Sorry if this is all really obvious, just want to run through all the options.

You clearly don't want to talk about your dh and his lack of help - and I can understand why you might not want to go there - but unless you get some help soon you will become ill.

You need to face up to why you're not dealing with dh (apologies if this sounds harsh), and insist on some help from him.

Can you go away somewhere for a night? Can you go and stay with a family member or a friend somewhere? Or even a cheap Travelodge just to get a break. And go without your ds - leave him with dh, with all the food/ebm that he needs. If necessary, with a bottle of ready made formula. It won't hurt for just one night.

And I would also suggest interspersing the Nurofen with Calpol (paracetamol) to really make sure that the pain is kept under control.

Seriously. Talk to your dh and insist that he helps you with this.

Tried all the cold remedies...am getting a humidifier today. But thank you for suggesting.
DH-It is v complicated. I have talked til I'm blue in the face. Don't have anywhere to go and really cant afford hotel. Honestly, am better thinking of ways round without involving him helping.

Development is a very common disruptor of sleep. If him sleeping with you helps you two to get some kip, then kick Mr. Useless onto the floor/couch/back porch and spread out.