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Sleep

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Original poster

Tips to try and get a good nights sleep please..

15 replies

paulahawki · 22/02/2005 13:00

My Ds is 11mths old and slept through the night til 6 mths when first teeth came. He has a bath a 6pm, bottle and then falls asleep on my knee, goes to bed and sleeps (sometimes cries out) til between 1am and 2am will then cry, go and sit with him and he will let you stroke his face or pat him but takes about 1.5hrs to go back to sleep. Always wakes about 5am and ends up in our bed as we are so tired. On a bad night he will wake 3-4 times for anything between 15mins to 2hrs. I don't know if the problem is going to sleep on my knee of wanting to go into our bed, although will lie in his cot as long as I don't move from his side. Help please

OP posts:

Frizbe · 22/02/2005 13:19

You need to get him to go to sleep in his cot, 1st off so that he knows he can do it by himself when he wakes, you could try putting him in his cot, then just moving away a bit at a time, until you reach the door, each time stay facing away from him, so he knows your there, but needs to settle himself, this was on that programme on sleep on BBC1 the other week, don't suppose you saw it?

Original poster

paulahawki · 22/02/2005 14:32

Do I keep on going back and sitting with him when he cries?? I'm not sure what I think about CC. Last night I sat in his room to give him his bottle and put him down when asleep will try put him down awake tonight!! Wish me luck!

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MrsA · 22/02/2005 21:54

You could find out about the babywhisperer pick up put down routine, it is to promote independant sleep, so if your baby wakes he can go back to sleep himself. i can't believe i'm actually suggesting it when i'm such a chicken and really need to do it myself - although well done to you for sitting up for up to 2 hours at night, i'm still on maternity leave and i just take her into the bed with me - i'm really rubbish - good luck

Clayhead · 22/02/2005 21:56

Why is taking a baby into bed with you rubbish?!?

Fran1 · 22/02/2005 22:26

If you are not keen on cc, as MrsA says, try the babywhisperers pick up put down method - (coming from a person who failed at every method going! .)

The going to sleep on your knee and falling asleep on a bottle is probably the problem, because he is used to you being there, and then when he wakes in the night he wonders where you are. If you can teach your son to go to sleep on his own - it may stop him then crying for you later, the theory is, that as he has learnt how to go to sleep, he will be able to do this again when he wakes!! So your choices are, be firm, pick a good sleep training method and stick to it or be a wimp like me and put him in your bed when he wakes so you at least get some sleep .

I do have sympathies for you as my dd was pretty much like your son until very recently (just turned 2 yrs). And funnily enough she slept through until 6mths also!

We sat with her every night until she fell asleep, and then she gets up at some point in the night and comes into bed with us until morning. But now that she is talking and understanding, i have managed to explain to her that she is a big girl now, and should go to sleep on her own, and like a miracle she did with no tears!!

HTH!

TracyK · 23/02/2005 09:04

What happens with the naps during the day? Does he sleep on his own then?

Original poster

paulahawki · 23/02/2005 13:38

Many thanks to everyone it's good to know Im not on my own In response to TraceyK he has two naps in the day, falls asleep on my knee and then goes down in his pushchair!!

It really makes sense that I need to get him to sleep on his own first, its just that going to sleep on my knee and then putting him down then gives us the only peace we have, as we know he will be up in the night. I have read the baby whisperer the only problem I think is that he doesn't cry as long as you are with him. He will lie in his cot and let you pat him and stroke his face!! (wish someone would do that for me!!) He does end up in bed with us everynight and I would love it not to happen but when its freezing cold and your eyes won't stay open its the only choice.
Fran1 what age did your dd go into a bed? did this help? My ds is just walking and we wonder about puting him into a bed so that at least we can get in with him?? any thoughts??

OP posts:

HappyMumof2 · 23/02/2005 14:07

Message withdrawn

Fran1 · 23/02/2005 16:55

Paula you sound so much like me. I wanted to change dd's sleeping habits but at the same time i wanted to do whatever it took to get a peaceful evening.
We moved dd onto a matress on the floor at 15mths, and yes she was much happier to go to bed (although we had to stay with her still) but at least there were no tears and fuss, she felt "special" and so was happy to go to bed. And as i say she gets up anywhere between midnight and 6am and gets in with us until 8.
Only just at 2 has she learnt to go to sleep alone. Although its been hard and stressful, i now feel relief that i never resorted to the harsh techniques such as CC etc. I know they work for some, but i just didn't want to put my dd through it. She is not in anyway a clingy child because of it, in fact shes quite the opposite.

Original poster

paulahawki · 23/02/2005 20:33

My concerns about cc are that my ds is already a mummys boy and he will hang onto my legs for a love and a cuddle during the day. We have left him to cry for 5 mins when we've been so tired in the night but it breaks my heart!! We've settled him in his bedroom for the last 3 nights, bath, bottle, story, lights out, cuddle and then put him down asleep. The cuddle has only taken 10 mins rather than an hour on the sofa with the tv on!! We have agreed to try and get him down awake but we have to build up the strength to feel that we really mean it (does that make sense??)
Fran you give me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel (or sleep!!)

OP posts:

MrsA · 23/02/2005 21:30

the baby whisperer says cc breaks a babies trust with you - everyone to their own opinion but cc wouldn't be the one for me. they are so young, they don't know you are outside the door it tears ready to rush in. the pick up put down teaches when the baby cries pick them up, console them and the second they calm down pop them back into their cot, keep doing this until they fall asleep them selves. that way they have never been alone but still learn to go asleep themselves. i have done it 4 times, twice it worked and twice i gave in as i don't like my little girl to be upset.

i think you need to find something that is best for both of you. he has gotten into the habbit of waking up and needing you to go back to sleep. when i put my daughter to sleep during the day i normally have some background noise or music on, when i want her to wake up i switch it off and it works. you could also try taking the tshirt you wore that day off and pop it into the cot, your smell may settle him.

what about putting the cot next to your side of the bed that way when he wakes up he can see you are there and might go back to sleep him self. it sounds like he is not waking for something to eat he is just used to you getting him back to sleep. Will he take a dummy when he wakes perhaps??

It's all going to be trial and error but hang in there it will all sort itself out.

TracyK · 24/02/2005 08:38

I'd try and get him to nap on his own during the day - it's easier to handle when it's daylight! Then he would be more receptive when you try the same method at night iykwim.
That's what I did as ds was rubbish at napping - but it's easier to work at during the day.

Original poster

paulahawki · 02/03/2005 12:41

It's time for an update...
On Friday ds woke 5 times before midnight at 12.20 dh left him to cry we were too tired to keep on sitting with him. We went back every 5 minutes - he stopped after 35-40 mins (it did break my heart but we knew that once we had started we couldn't stop!) he then just sat in his cot, we kept on going back and putting him down we tucked him in tight with teddies either side and put some toys in his cot. At the 1.30 check he was asleep!! Woke at 5am as normal - cried for 2 5min checks and then slept til 7.30 can't remember the last time we woke without him in our bed!! On saturday night we went through his new night time routine which is all in is bed and put him down awake 2 mins crying and then asleep!! He still wakes at 2am and 5am which were his getting up times but we put his dummy in and he goes back to sleep.
I really can't believe it - a big thanks to everyone that chatted it firstly made to believe that I wasn't a bad mum and I wasn't on my own and understand that the real prob was not letting him go to sleep on his own in the first place. I was not for cc at all but we just didn't have the energy to carry on. You all gave me the confidence to take action when we reached the end of our tether!! I hope this gives confidence to others in the same position

OP posts:

HappyMumof2 · 02/03/2005 13:43

Message withdrawn

danielle30 · 15/03/2005 09:17

I have a 17 month old boy, who since having his MMR has decided that he want sleep thr the night. He goes down at 7.45 and takes 30 mins to settle, then between 3am - 4am he screams, tried control crying and doesn't work, makes himslef sick, ends up in our bed. Need help as I am nearly 3 months pregnant with the 2nd baby and want to get this sleep problem sorted before the other one arrives. Any suggestions would be helpful, I'm at my wits end !

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