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Original poster

probs getting to sleep for me!!

13 replies

pipsy1 · 19/02/2005 15:44

Does anyone have any ideas/help for me! I am permanently tired (see thread about baby waking at 5am), feel ehausted all day and yet can't get to sleep at night. I worry about things, or have things on my mind which just won't go away. Things aren't great with DH cos he does basically nothing around the house or with DD and I get quite stressed about that but all my worries seem to wait til bedtime (the only time I stop) and then I can't get to sleep. Then of course I worry about not sleeping knowing I will be even more tired the next day! SOunds funny but its hell

OP posts:
MancMum · 19/02/2005 16:04

I know this is not funny as I have been there ... I have had some success meditating as it stops the circular thoughts that whizz round my head at all hours...

the next thing is hard but does work... give up all stimulants... eg tea, coffee, coke, chocolate... hurts in short term but you do get more energy in the morning and it helps you wind down more...

then 2 more things... better diet -- cut out crap - I find white flour, sugar makes me tired and 2nd get a good bed time routine... ie. bath , warm milky drink and bed with no watching TV or reading in bed..stick to this the same time every night...

this takes about a week but when my DD was getting up at 5am (see my thread from last year!!) this was the only way I coped.. that and talking thru issues with DH

bathmummy · 19/02/2005 16:13

Sounds like a vicious circle to me, loads of sympathy. You seem to have loads of things worrying you enough to keep you awake and yet being exhausted can zap the life out of you and make everything feel a lot worse and harder to sort out.
I would wait until DH is in a good mood and you are calm and then tell him how exhausted and worried you are, explain that you need support right now and would like his help to get you back on track. Work out way sbetween you how he could help, even little things like him being responsible for grabbing a take away every Friday, or putting the bins out, loading up the dishwasher and tidying hte kitchen while you bath the baby or even better, him bathing the baby and doing the bedtim e routine to give you an hour off. Surely if you explain it carefully without accusing him of being lazy (even if he is) he will see your side and offer to help a bit.
Have you any relatives/close friends around for a bit of babysitting so you can have time out/afternoon nap/evening with DH to relax as a couple?
There are loads of things you can do to help you sleep in terms of treating insommnia - herbal drinks, no caffeine, wind down time etc. but I reckon you need to look at the reasons behind not sleeping for a long term fix. It is hard being a mum and a wife at times and it won?t hurt DH to hear your perspective now and again.
Good Luck, hope you get a decent night?s sleep really soon.
Another quick thought - if you are lying there awake at night, how about writing a list of everything that is bothering you. Sometimes just seeing it in writing helps to make it seem less worrying and easier to prioritise and think of strategies to overcome them. Be positive

Original poster
pipsy1 · 19/02/2005 17:36

Thanks guys, they are all good ideas and I think I will start by cutting out all the crap as this should hopefully have an impact on general health and well being. From time to time I do have good chats with DH about helping etc and he always promises, but comes to nothing! He claims he is just as tired as me and I really don't want to get into arguments about who is better/worse off.

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bagpussmice · 19/02/2005 19:42

You could try homeopathic remedies. I used passiflora - you can take one tab every time you wake up - no side effects, but it's supposed to calm your mind and block out the days events, hence enhancing sleep - if you want more info, CAT me.

Original poster
pipsy1 · 19/02/2005 20:17

Thanks Bagpuss. I will definitely try that. Just started homeopathic things for DD so will get some for me too. Not sure how to CAT - will investigate tomorrow!

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Frizbe · 19/02/2005 20:24

chamomile tea is supposed to be very good for sleeping, I even heard of someone bathing their baby in it, to induce good nights sleep?!

Mirage · 19/02/2005 20:33

I do the same thing Pipsy.As soon as I get to bed,my mind goes into overdrive,no matter how tired I am.One thing which seems to work is Bach rescue remedy.4 drops on your tongue or in a glass of water normally does the trick for me.I find a drop of lavender oil on my pillow helps too.

beansprout · 19/02/2005 20:37

I use Lavender too, but a "stronger" oil for inducing sleep is sweet marjoram. Really knocks me out when I need it. Chamomile oil is also good but good quality stuff isn't that cheap.
Bath before bed time with half a dozen drops of whatever oils you are using is good too.

Good luck with this, I really know how you feel!!

LGJ · 19/02/2005 22:09

Slightly ........well actually totally different..I gave up alcohol for Lent then settled for cutting back to nothing four days a week and having wine Friday Saturday Sunday.

The first night I was wide awake and now realise that the wine was making me sleepy. As I love my sleep and generally calculate how much I am likely to get if I drop off in the next few minutes, to say I was freaked out was an understatement.........

I have started liberally dosing my pillow with lavender oil and after about 20 - 30 mins , I slide off and sleep quite well.

HTH

Original poster
pipsy1 · 20/02/2005 07:15

Thanks - am going to try a combination of everything! I know its because I'm tense and uptight so need to practise anything to help me relax and chill out. LGJ - did you find cutting out alcohol in the long run help your quality of sleep though?

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ghosty · 20/02/2005 07:38

I cut out caffeine in December and found that (after a few horrendous day of withdrawal headaches) that I slept better. I have only had about 2 cups of coffee and two cups of tea since the 17th of December!
Also, if you take any kind of vitamins and minerals regularly, take the minerals in the evening ... calcium and magnesium are natural relaxants and do aid sleep. If you take an all in one vit. with the minerals in them then take them after dinner before you go to bed.

Original poster
pipsy1 · 20/02/2005 07:45

Definitely going to remove coffee and tea and alcohol. Most of those are just as a crutch and habit. Just need to try to convince DH to do it with me so he's a bit more perky and able to help too!

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LGJ · 20/02/2005 08:49

Pipsy

I hate to admit it, but yes

Takes longer to drop off, hence the lavender oil, but certainly wake up geeling more refreshed

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