22 month old night wakings

[TheQuirkyPanda]

My daughter is 22 months and the last week or so has been waking up around 2am crying and screaming for me whilst standing at the end of her cot. She’s previously slept through from around 11 months. I’m at my wits end honestly, I’ve tried going in and getting her to lay back down, sitting beside her, even laying on the floor beside her cot but she’ll just stand and look over the edge crying. When she’s picked up she still seems tired but will start talking, her current obsession is body parts so she’ll point and say ‘eyes’, ‘ears’ etc, and then it seems she’s awake for 2-3 hours before finally crashing again. She has to fall asleep with me or her dad before she’ll go back in the cot, she just will not lay back down and settle herself which she’s always been fine doing before.

We’ve kept her nighttime routine as consistent as possible, she goes to sleep between 7:30-8pm after a bath. It’s almost like because she’s had a few hours sleep, she needs to be awake for a little while before she can sleep again which is a right pain in the early hours of the morning.

I don’t know what to do for the best - her daytime naps have been getting shorter, between 30-60 mins but I wouldn’t say she fights them. Do I cut them out entirely, get her to try and nap longer maybe? Any advice welcome!

We also have a 6 month old so I can’t just leave her to cry it out because she’ll wake him (and it’s just something I’d rather not do anyway).

I don’t know if she’s having nightmares perhaps, maybe it’s simply a sleep regression but please please tell me that there’s light at the end of the tunnel! 🙏🏼

Our DS is 20 months and we have literally just gone through this. It last like 2.5 weeks and now he’s back to sleeping through like he used to. We just kept everything the same routine wise for bedtime and naps. We bought an air mattress and put it in his room and one of us used that to at least be comfy while trying to comfort him. We still have absolutely no idea what the reason was but all I can say is it does pass! Hugs to you mama!

That sounds exhausting, especially with a 6 month old in the mix too. You're definitely not alone, this comes up a lot around this age.

On the naps, I'd hold off cutting them. Most of the big sleep books agree that missed daytime sleep isn't made up at night, and an overtired toddler tends to sleep worse, not better. Protecting the nap she has is usually the safer bet.

For the 2am wakings, a couple of general things that help a lot of families:

Keep night-time as boring as you can: lights low, very few words, no play. The chat about eyes and ears is lovely, but if 2am becomes interesting it tends to hang around.

A big burst in language and development often shows up at night for a while, so her busy brain may be part of it.

Respond the same calm way each time. Consistency matters more than which approach you pick, and there are plenty of gentle options that don't involve leaving her to cry.

If it does turn out to be a nightmare, comforting her in her own room is the usual advice. And if you notice snoring, pauses in her breathing or ear pulling, it's worth a GP check first.

Phases like this do pass, even when it doesn't feel like it. Hope you get some proper sleep soon.

(Dad of three, and I work in children's sleep.)

DS did this from a little earlier. We went through colours, letters, numbers, animals, sounds, songs, vehicles. 2am to 5am. Eventually we went with the flow and realised he needed less sleep than most. We moved his bedtime to 9.30/10. 7.30 to 9.30 was mummy's quiet time and for playing quietly. We found we did better on a solid 8 hours, he was always up at 6, than broken nights. I never, ever had to wake him for school, not even as a teenager.

Eventually he brought me home a PhD and is a published researcher/academic. He and dil now have a daughter of 5 months. History may repeat.

How did you and your DH sleep @TheQuirkyPanda. Our mothers raiswd their eyebrows with a united "I wonder wher he got that from?".

Good luck - you are doing the hard yards.

PS: might be teething related and get her ears checked.