2 year old sudden separation anxiety at naps and bedtime

[OkeyKokey198]

Anyone else been through this with a 2yo? I’m honestly at the end of my tether with sleep 😩

DD is 2 and for the last 8-10 weeks she has suddenly become awful to settle for naps and bedtime. She cries as soon as she realises I’ve left the room and shouts for me to sit by the door. She doesn’t seem genuinely scared/upset, more that she just REALLY wants me there (I’ve tried telling her to lie back down and go to sleep and she aggressively shouts ‘NO!’ at me). If I go back in she immediately stops crying and lies down, but then obviously I have to leave again and we’re back to square one.

We have a really solid bedtime routine and I’ve been doing the whole gradual check-in thing, first cry I go straight back in, then 2 mins, then 5 mins etc. She does eventually settle and go to sleep, but the whole thing is absolutely shredding my nerves. It can take 20–30 mins and even once I’ve left I feel like I have to creep around the house because the tiniest noise can wake/set her off again. It genuinely feels like having a newborn again!
Sleep itself is pretty good, usually 8pm–7am overnight with the odd wake (again screaming for me) She naps 30–60 mins at nursery, and on the 3 days she’s at home we cap her at 2 hours (she’d happily sleep longer and is a nightmare to wake, then often very grumpy afterwards). She also wakes up crying in the morning.

I’m currently solo parenting for a few days which probably isn’t helping, but I’m finding sleep so fraught and stressful right now. Her nap is usually my only chance to eat, shower and have some downtime/reset, and at the moment it doesn’t feel like a break at all.
Has anyone had this around 2 and found something that actually worked? Did you change your settling method, stop going back in, tweak naps, or just ride it out? I’d really love some advice/solidarity because my patience is wearing VERY thin and I’m dreading every nap/bedtime at the moment 😭

Solidarity here - I'm in exactly the same boat with my 2yo. Really tricky bedtimes and overnight waking after months of really reliable sleep. She also has stopped napping in her cot - will only nap at nursery or in the car.

We have started sitting with her until she falls asleep, and then setting up camp in her room if she has a night with lots of wakings. It doesn't feel very sustainable but I'm hoping we can help her through this stage. I've had a reassuring call with the health visitor and I even took her to the GP because she started pulling out her hair when we left her alone and developed a bald patch. Haven't left any of these appointments with a new plan or top tips or anything aha

Just be consistent with the bed time routine, sitting in the room for a bit but always try to leave before they fall asleep. Always return to their bed in the middle of the night even if you end up sleeping there with them.

Could it be teething? Maybe try calpol and see if that helps.

These sleep regressions are common , they come and go. It’ll happen again when they start school. It’s just something you get used to until one day they prefer being in their own bed!

Hello, I could have written this. Solidarity and no real solution sadly. He isn't 2 just yet but close. Last night I was propped up against his cot holding his hand through the bars until he was in a deep enough sleep for me to remove my hand. A slight squeak of the floorboard as I shifted my weight to stand up and he sat up sobbing so back I went to leaning up against the cot holding his hand...

I am not ashamed to admit I basically did an army roll to avoid the squeaky floorboard after that!

He's never been a great sleeper, but we were finally at the stage of getting him sleeping through more often than not. I'm so gutted that we've taken such a huge step backwards! He has never gone down for a sleep at home without being held so my hope is that getting him on board with the holding hands in the cot thing can be the first stage of him settling to sleep on his own. I was previously advised to attempt the disappearing chair by a health visitor after he used to wake every hour but we couldn't never get started as he refused to be laid down in any form of being awake. His brother was settling by himself by now so I have no experience of this stage and am winging it until the 2 year check where I'll probably just sob at the health visitor again!

I'll follow this post with interest to see if anyone else has any other ideas. Big sleep deprived hugs!