Struggling with bedtime routines for three children of different ages

[BusyMamaBear2001]

Someone please help me get my life together! I'm sick of having no routines! I have 3 children aged 5, 3 and a 5 month old. Older two aren't easy to settle but their bedtime is between 6/7. Baby is fed on demand, clingy which i wouldn't mind but the house chores need doing at some point, right? Baby starts to be fussy around kid's bedtime too and nearly always asleep for the night by 8pm. Stirs for milk/dream feeds etc.
I strictly sleep trained my first son, he slept 6-6 most his life, until he got to a certain age and realised he can be silly with his younger brother. My middle son was sleep trained for a short while but he's a mama's boy and sometimes tantrums at bedtime.
Even if I wanted to ST, is it possible? Who do i train first? The older two?

And during the day there is no routine. I am just surviving at this point. I want to be organised but I can't hear myself think most of the time!

I hope someone relates and has a solution for me 🙏

Do the older two have a gro-clock? I found that helped hugely as it was easy for them to see day v's night, it also helps you to implement 'in bed' compared to 'allowed to be up'.

Seriously though, three is really tough, don't be hard on yourself.

6pm is really early for a 5 year old, and any age really. If they aren’t settling straight away, I expect they aren’t tired

I would move bedtime back.
Every one up and in pjs for 7pm. Then allow older 2 to listen to a Tonie and play in bedroom quietly or look at books alone for 30mins.

Meanwhile whilst they play, feed baby to sleep. If baby falls asleep, then that’s one down.

Then you can read a story to both of them together. And settle them. So they are asleep more like 7.30-8pm.

Trying to put those older boys to bed far too early. Especially if they are messing about. I only have 2 they are 4 and 18 months now but I do most bedtimes solo so from the newborn days we have done bedtime. I never sleep trained but my son was a solid 7/7 sleeper from about 15m-3 then it was clear he needed a later bedtime and he was here first so the baby just slotted in and had naps adjusted accordingly. The first 4/5 months I baby wore while doing bedtime then I started including her in. We go up at 7:30, do teeth, do storytime dreams projector and then a book from each of their book cases all in my bed. Then into bed for 8, my 4 year old listens to his tonie box for about 30m then sleeps at 8:30. My younger one either does the same (but is asleep faster) or occasionally still gets cuddles to sleep

I think the bedtime routine is the hardest part of parenting (unless you are lucky enough to have children who say night night zzzzzzz)
But if you don't it can be bloody hard.
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