Remind me that this will pass

[FatMrsHoot]

I honestly feel like I'm dying. I am so tired that I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm working 4 days per week and have the kids on the fifth. There's no respite and there are no lie ins or catch ups.

I have 2 DSs, 2 years apart. I don't know if the first was this bad, or I just had less to deal with.

16 month old has been torturing me for weeks, if not months. Up 1-4 times per night, and then this week started waking up for an hour or 2 per night.

I think he's teething, I load him up with ibuprofen and anbesol before bed and he sleeps until 1am, then up screaming again. Waking everyone up, so then I'm dealing with the toddler as well, who thinks daddy is the best, except at night, when he can go in the bin as far as he's concerned.

I don't feel like myself. I'm angry and not coping. It's 4 o'clock and I've basically done no work, nothing around the house, and I've also not had a rest. I'm filled with dread at going to get them from nursery and starting the whole chaotic thing again.

It will pass. You will get to the stage where you say, "off to bed now boys, I'll come up and tuck you in when you're ready" and they will go brush their teeth, pajamas on, and call you when they're in bed. Barring illness, they will sleep for 10-11 hours and you can watch a show, read a book, and get the sleep you need. It will be wonderful and you'lll realise that you were not going crazy or dying, it was the sleeo deprivation. Every single aspect of your life will get better.

I'm only produce bad sleepers who grow out of it in their own damn time, so I'm not the one to give you advice on how to get there - but the day will come. Hang in there

I’ve been there. It’s bloody soul destroying. Yes it gets better, even if every minute feels like a year to get there.

Make your DP step up. Doesn’t matter if toddler prefers mummy, he gets daddy if it’s daddy’s turn. Daddy just has to learn to do a better job of night wakes so toddler no longer wants you - maybe try and figure out why he wants you, are you more soothing and quieter? DP needs to do that then. Wish I’d been stricter about this myself.

You poor thing, the lack of sleep / interrupted sleep due to working/ small children is an absolute killer. It sounds like you need a break for one or two nights. Maybe book yourself into a hotel and get DP to cover you. I promise you’ll feel like a new woman.
and yes it does pass and soon you’ll be sleeping and forgetting about how hard this all was. Be kind to yourself, and at the very least treat yourself to all sick day and lounge on the sofa/sleep

He wants me because the baby wants me. He's extremely jealous and even in the day time will be happily playing on his own then desperately need something from me as soon as I'm changing baby's nappy or feeding him etc etc.

Absolutely this! Between my two I didn't have a full night's sleep for over 5 years, apalling sleepers, I remember the feeling sick, with stinging eyes very well.

13 & 15 now and barely out of bed before lunch all summer holidays. This too shall pass.

Oh I see. Yes tough. Can you do toddler and DP does baby?

Oh op this is so so hard. My youngest is 2.5 and I swear it's already SO much better. This time last year I didn't know how I'd survive it.

R.e. your toddler wanting you at night - parental preference is real but it's just that, a preference. It's not up to toddler who looks after them in the night and it's not neglect for them to be cared for by a loving dad who they adore (during the day). They'll kick, scream and fight tooth and nail for the first few nights but you HAVE to hang in there and they'll get used to it quicker than you believe possible. Dad absolutely cannot give in and bring them to you though, once they get a whiff of weakness it's so much harder to break the habit 😂

Best of luck, you will get through this and cut yourself some slack in the mean time. The house can be rank, performance can drop a bit at work and your kids can watch some extra TV when you're feeling your grumpiest, everyone will be fine and so will you eventually ♥️