Newborn daytime naps with toddler

[Whatisgoingoff2024]

My 1 month old naturally needs a lot of comfort/contact naps which I’m happy to do, just struggling to divide attention with 3 year old as well. I keep trying to put her down in the Moses but after 10 mins she’s crying wanting to be held.

We have a sling which is great for making meals etc but I would love to just put her in the Moses and play with my little boy.

She settles in the push chair and will stay asleep but I need to go out on a walk (plan to do later today).

Probably just mum guilt kicking in as my 3 year old asks “mummy put her down so we can play”. I’m already on my 5th attempt - have gave up for a contact nap as her eyes look red from being so tired!

Can you get her to sleep in the sling (or I used to feed to sleep on the sofa with the sling waistband on and then assemble around mine once asleep on my chest) and sit and play like that?
I've got two years between mine. We did a lot of toddler things out of the house where we were on the move for quality time - bikes, farm parks, the zoo, playing in the woods, soft play (couldn't fit through the rollers with baby in sling but could do all the slides etc). Only thing I couldn't do as before was swimming. At home attention was more split but often the baby would be awake as we'd been out for naps so they could slouch on my lap or the floor. We never managed moses nap.

Put her in the Moses and play. She’ll be fine

Errrr or she'll scream? She's a month old.

We had a little vibrating bouncy chair which worked a treat. DD2 could lounge in the chair, watching the action and drift off when too tired.
Once she's drifted off in your arms, can you ease her into a cot/crib/basket/pram?
Is the Moses basket definitely comfortable? We put a new mattress in ours when DD2 came along and she slept in it happily whereas DD1 would never settle there.
Also, with DD2, there was a routine of sorts which meant she had plenty of stimulation, napping as and when. Overall, she was an easier baby but I don't know how much of that was personality and how much was the established framework of activities.
Finally, it's not a popular opinion on MN but, sometimes babies need to fuss a little before they drop off and some of them need to be left alone so they can settle.

And? Crying won’t hurt her, but the toddler will always remember that he started to play second fiddle when the baby arrived.

I used to put the baby on my knees and rock the baby whilst reading a story to the toddler. I didn’t have everything sussed out - but that one worked out.

Riiiiiiiight 🙈🙈🙈

1 months old babies don’t work that way in my experience!

Can you play carefully with her in a sling? Playdough/board games etc? Save active playing for when your partner is around.
My youngest also liked being in a little vibrating bouncy chair and she’d be ok for a bit watching older DD and me play, or fall asleep.

Just tell your 3 year old you'll be able to play better if you just hold her? Surely having a baby on your chest, one arm, knee or in a sling gives you more time to play than resettling them 5 times. Or maybe try a swaddle sleeping bag so she feels more held in the moses basket. They both just want you close though. Make time later in the day when your partner can hold the baby?

My 3rd baby only napped in a moving pram or a sling. You just have to accept it!
Put her in the pram and play with the 3 year old at the park or stop in a cafe together.

This is absolutely terrible advice. Needless to say OP you are doing the right thing by ensuring newborn isn’t crying. I have the same problem and try to have my newborn nap in the pram as much as possible while toddler is at the park etc

No, it’s not. A crying baby is not unsafe.

Thank you for all your suggestions. It seems I’m not alone with the newborn not taking to the moses!

We have been at home a lot for the last month as I’ve been recovering from c-section and unable to drive. So she’s spent the majority of time in the sling anyway, I just hoped she would at least take 1 nap in the Moses to help my back.

I have been leaving her to fuss rather than picking her up straight away, to see if she can figure it out but once the hysterical crying starts I will pick her up. It’s distressing for all of us to hear her wine! Every my 3 year old will say “mummy make her stop crying”.

Looking forward to resuming to our normal activities over the next few weeks, I’m sure her naps will adjust more to the car seat/push chair as we get out and about for my little boys usual activities.

😁

Some babies never, ever, accept going in the Moses or a cot. It’s temperament.

I played for hours on end with my 3 year old with my newborn in the sling. We just picked things to do at the kitchen table and spent an hour or two doing jigsaws, playing bored games, colouring, sticker books, playdo, building Lego, reading. Then when the baby would wake up I would feed while reading books then I would put the baby on her playmat and we would play cars/kitchen/shop etc. but I also kept a couple of puzzles I knew he could do himself/figures etc to one side so if the baby was cluster feeding etc he still have something to amuse himself. My husband is away for work a lot so I worked out how to do it all solo pretty fast but you’ll find what works for you. Baby is now 11 months, down to one nap and starting to walk and they play together which is amazing but do miss the days I could cook dinner with the baby in the sling and not need eyes in the back of my head because she can get out of every container ever built 😅

I used to just carry my newborn everywhere in a sling and she would sleep when she slept. I quite enjoyed it and I could get everything done, i wished I’d done it more with my first!

Either that or an iPad is your friend 🙈 (I know it’s awful)!