Ferber sleep training 4m old?

[pixieeyes]

My just turned 4m old has been a very wakeful baby from the start. The longest stretch he’s ever done has been 3h20mins and the 4m regression is now in full swing with 1-2hrly wakes after midnight all night. I’m beyond exhausted and want to sleep train asap, with the Ferber method. I did this with my firstborn at 6m and it was very successful but am feeling uncertain and anxious, although I’ve read posts where many have used this method from 4m.

Please can you help me with the following:

• Is it OK to Ferber him or too early?

(I’m not expecting to night wean yet)

• How will night feeds affect the training, will it take longer overall? Should I keep to a schedule for feeds?

• Should we start doing this with naps at the same time? He’s getting heavy and I can’t keep rocking/carrying him!

Any advice/ support / success stories would be so appreciated. Thanks so much.

Everything I have read says that’s too young for Ferber and it’s recommended from 5 months onwards. I did night time Ferber at 5 months and it naturally fixed the naps so I didn’t actually have to do nap training too

It's quite normal to need 2hourly feeds at 4 months. They are still tiny!

Thanks @cbbo. Can I ask how long it took when you did it? Did you respond to night wakes too and feed, or carry out the ST just doing check ins during night wakes also?

At this age you need to feed day and night when they wake. Totally normal to feed every couple of hours.

Far too young. You should be in the same room until 6 months. Best to align yours and baby’s bedtime so you get a long stretch asleep at the same time. And you absolutely shouldnt restrict night feeds under 12 months (Ofc fine if they sleep through of their own accord.)

Too early...

Get to 6m get the baby going with a dream feed* to link up the sleep into a longer block we got a 7-4/5am just by doing that.

*google it if not familiar. I'd never heard of it and was waiting for baby to wake around 11.30 to feed 🫠

He’s a tiny baby doing what many tiny baby’s do. Please comfort him when he wakes, feed him whenever he wants and don’t leave him to cry. He wants his mum, it’s completely healthy, normal infant behaviour.

I used it after the major regressions very successfully. They were approx 8 months. Both children sorted in 2-3 nights and they’re now 7 and 10 yo. Both nightmares before. Although I BF and they don’t sleep through fully until 11mo, I used the method for the initial getting them to sleep.

@pixieeyes it was textbook. I can’t remember the details but we followed the Ferber rules exactly and we had results very quickly and exactly as all studies advised.
DD had already started sleeping through, waking up early hours for a feed, then we hit the regression and had a few awful months, waited till she was 5.5 months. so we already had a good idea of which wake was for feeding and which wake we needed to Ferber.

Pretty common and generally paediatrician approved to do it from 4 months in the US. I have no idea how it would work with night feeds though, make look at Ferber’s actual book for guidance? However, it’s not an easy process and the whole point is to be consistent and do it every time you’re putting them to sleep which sounds hard to stick to if that’s going to be multiple times a night because they’re little and need to be up that often to feed. Personally I’d wait until 6 months, weaned onto solids, and are more capable of sleeping through then do it.

That is insane to me that a doctor would advise this at 4 months. There is a high SIDS risk up to 6 months and babies should not be left alone until then. it is dangerous to restrict night feeds under 12 months if baby is asking for them. there are plenty of responsive sleep training methods that are a kinder and safer option at this age, like pick up put down

Ferber is a doctor, a very senior and well respected paediatrician. He was the director of the paediatric sleep disorder centre at Boston children hospital and a harvard professor. So makes sense really that a lot of other paediatricians align with his method and the recommended age which is that it’s best done at 4-6 months old. Of course always your call as a parent what the right choice for you and your baby is, it’s not right for a lot of people. But Ferber is based in medical research so I don’t think you can call it insane or dangerous. Just not for you, and that’s fine!

Also FWIW I don’t think OP should start yet. It doesn’t seem particularly night feed friendly- the goal is usually sleeping through and it sounds a bit too soon for her baby just based on the current frequency of wakes. So in her case I would wait because it will work better and be easier to implement when baby is capable of longer stretches of sleep. It’s also easier to do when baby is in their own room (although not impossible to do in the same room with a younger baby that can’t sit or stand to see you between scheduled settles) so again another reason to wait until 6 months IMO.

But that was many years before the more recent research on what works to prevents SIDS was done. Surely that takes precedence. And one of things that is proven to prevent SIDS is being in the same room. This is nothing against Ferber or similar methods, it's about what is proven to keep a baby alive, under 6 months old. There are sleep training methods that involve staying in the room which are safer before 6 months.

I had done it at 4 months after reading the book and it didn’t go well. The baby cried for an hour and half, at which point I gave in and fed the baby. The baby then slept for amlonger stretch of time, and dropped to one feed per sleep, over time slowly increasing back to two or sometimes theee feeds.

I felt horrible the next day and now with hindsight, it’s one thing I genuinely regret. I don’t think it ruined the baby, and it helped me, but I would not do that - and never did that with subsequent children.

4 months is too young.

Can your partner not share the night wakings with you?

A 4 month baby needs feeding and cuddling, not screaming alone and hungry