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20mo Bedtime Hell

1 reply

Blueturtle12 · 21/07/2026 11:29

Please send me all of your tips as I’m at breaking point.

I was co-sleeping and breastfeeding my toddler all night long, until 3 weeks ago when I started the night-weaning process. I read books leading up to the day, we waved bye to milkies and went to bed. First night, my DS spent 2 hours crying hysterical and was awake every hour crying. Second night was 1 hour crying and up every hour upset still. Third and Fourth nights were surprisingly so much better, only a bit of crying, he lay down calmly with a dummy and went to sleep!

Since the fifth night onwards for about 3 weeks now, it’s been hell. At first we thought it was teething, so we gave him paracetamol before bed. Then we thought there may be a big developmental leap going on. Now I have no idea.

My DS screams for 2 hours between 7-9 every night. Our routine is: dinner, bath, pjs, book, breastfeed on the sofa, bed. However after the book, it’s like he’s been getting a wave of energy and wants to run, jump, everything but go to bed. We have still been taking him into the bedroom around 7pm to try and calm him down for bed. Should I be waiting for him to ride out his energy and attempt bedtime later? He seems tired when we get home from nursery.

In the bedroom, DS will charge at the door and try to escape, DH has to be on door duty. I’ve tried to lay him down, sing, shush, give water etc. Then he starts to become hysterical very quickly, maybe because I’m not letting him leave the room? I end up picking up and rocking him, however I can be rocking for over 45 minutes because he is so hysterical by that point that he struggles to calm down.

I spent a few nights not rocking him at all to try and break the rock association (he was beginning to ask for it overnight in replacement of the breastfeeding). He would scream for the whole 2 hours without rocking.

Tonight he was so hysterical, I picked him up to rock him after 10 mins because I felt like I genuinely needed to soothe his distress. He took an hour of fidgeting in my arms and crying until eventually falling asleep, but he was calmer than being lay on the bed.

Where am I going wrong? When he’s screaming like that, I was thinking he may need the rocking as a sensory input to calm his nervous system. Should I be giving him a later bedtime? I’m out of ideas.

Is this normal? He’s 20mo but has always been quite further on with developmental milestones.

OP posts:
Fupoffyagrasshole · 21/07/2026 11:42

what time does he nap?

What time is he actually going asleep

My 2 year old is still napping an hour 1pm - 2pm

it was breaking me spending hours in his room trying to get him asleep - so i've massively relaxed it - i leave him up and bring him into room around 8.15/8.30, read books in bed, lights off and lie beside him and he goes asleep by 9!

It seems late (my 5 year old is asleep at 7.30!) but shes not napping i guess

It will get earlier when nap goes!

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