9mo fell out of bed whilst co-sleeping

[MrsB902]

I’ve been co-sleeping with my 9mo since she was around 6m as she wakes so frequently when in her cot / own room. This had been working perfectly well until last night when I woke to her crying and found her on the floor - luckily I’d put cushions there so they broke her fall and she wasn’t hurt or upset.

I’m just wondering if anyone has any suggestions how to prevent this from happening again - my husband is in a camp bed on the floor as often goes to join our 4yo during the night, I know bed guards aren’t recommended at this age and due to the set up of our bedroom it’s not possible to move the bed so one side is against the wall. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

There are some really lovely responses and great ideas. It’s also nice to know that I’m not alone in being in this position, like a PP said every baby is completely different and therefore I would never pass judgement on anyone else’s parenting choices if what they are doing works for them.

I genuinely find it baffling how many grown women have taken time out of their day to leave an unwanted, judgemental comment on a stranger’s post. You must all have a lot of time on your hands, perhaps a new hobby would help you all find more fulfilment?! It’s a shame your old school views don’t extend to if you’ve got nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all 🙂

The only ridiculous thing around here is you taking the time to knock a stranger down on mumsnet. Have a lovely day ✌🏻

Pool noodle tucked under the sheet- it worked perfectly for us through two kids but wasn't too hard for me to get in and out

You're definitely not alone! I was in bed last night with my 4 year old one side and my 6 month old the other, usually i would have moved 4yo as we had watched a film and she'd fallen asleep in my bed but I actually thought of this thread and left her in my bed thinking one day they probably wont want to even be in the same room as me so right now if the safest she feels is with me then I don't care! DH was at work FYI and then joined us in bed until 4yo kicked him in the nuts and he went off to sleep in her double bed 😂

Does the baby need to be in the bed? It was a while ago so things/recommendations might have changed but we just had ours in her cot right next to our bed, we were always within arm’s reach and no risk of falling or anyone rolling over her.

We got the cheapest IKEA cot (Sniglar) and left one side off. Because it’s not a cot bed, we needed to strap the sides to the base of the cot so they were secure, then strapped the whole thing to the side of our bed. It means that the baby has his own place with safe mattress and no bedding, my husband can also sleep in the bed, and we don’t have to worry about him falling out. He’s 12 months now and mostly in his own room but still sleeps happily there if we have visitors or he’s sick and needs more support in the night.

You didn’t ask for sleep advice, but waking every 40 minutes is brutal, and you might already have tried but have you considered if your baby’s sleep pressure is high enough. Everyone around me was constantly talking about overtiredness how how I needed to avoid it at all costs, but the result was my baby who had very low sleep needs was very under tired, and that’s why he was waking so often. Lots of babies just find a 7-7 stretch at night impossible and can only sleep at night for 9-10 hours, so a later bedtime can mean that they wake much less often. If they have a shorter night and more sleep pressure that might help extend some of the stretches. We still don’t have an evening without the baby, but it’s worth it for longer stretches.

Are you breastfeeding?

Maybe you shouldn’t have mentioned that ideally you’d like her in her own cot if you didn’t want posters to suggest you use this incident as sign to begin addressing that.

Why ideal she’s in her own cot anyway? So dh not on the camp bed?

No, she’s formula fed. Yes I just meant that ideally she would be in her cot so my husband and I could have our bed back but we mutually decided that if co-sleeping gets us all more sleep then we are happy to do that for now. I don’t mind people suggesting that the fall might be motivation for getting baby back in her own cot at all and will definitely take some of the helpful suggestions on board. It’s just the judgey anti co-sleeping comments that I think are a bit unwarranted and unhelpful.

For the first few wake ups I go in and pat/shhh her and sometimes replace her dummy if she can’t find it. She’s usually quick to resettle until it gets to around 11pm then I usually take her into our bed. I think it’s the dummy to be honest as she spits it out as soon as she’s asleep but can’t always replace it herself yet. I feel like she’s too young to take it away so trying to work on guiding her hand to it in the cot instead of popping it straight back in for her every time.

I agree. People who say things like just put them back in their own room haven’t met my child 🤣
I remember my own parents at first came out with this type of thing - until they got to see what their own grandkid were like and admitted they just weren’t sleepers like me and my sister were. At first they were like but we put you in your cot and you went to sleep?!

Guess where the grandkids now sleep when they go to their house…!

OP I saw your comment about wakes every 40 mins. You might want to also look at sleep pressure, some babies just don't need that much sleep. Might be worth cutting down her day sleep or doing a later bedtime so she is more tired for the night. Average sleep needs are 11-14 hours within 24 hours so majority of babies just don't need 2 hours of naps and a 12 hour night, which so many template sleep routines suggest.